CHAPTER NINETY SIX
Yanyan asked Feifei to teach her how to make cakes. Especially the milk and peach cakes. When she tasted Feifei's craft the first time, she was unable to forget the taste of it!
After they were done making the cake, Yanyan is very happy and satisfied with today's loot! She made a lot of cakes today!
And she can't wait to go home and dazzle her partner with her cake! She danced and laughed happily while leaving Feifei's house.
Feifei looked at Yanyan with a smile.
Yanyan also looked at Feifei. But with concern.
"Are you okay now? If you are not feeling well, there is no need to walk me out. After all, I know where the village entrance is."
"I'm okay."
"When that delivery man shouted, I almost threw up the cake in the air! My dear! I almost had an attack!" Yanyan complained.
Feifei smiled at her but did not say anything.
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While he was walking Yanyan out of the village, he suddenly stood still.
Yuan!
He really is back.
Yuan just glanced at them, nod his head lightly at Feifei as greeting then continued to walk past them.
Without stopping.
Not another glance.
Yanyan was baffled. She looked at Yuan then he looked at Feifei.
Its almost two months. They still haven't made up yet? Yanyan wondered.
Feifei called out to Yuan. Yuan did not stop.
Nor look back.
Feifei felt strangled.
Like something is stuck in his throat.
Feifei squeezed Yanyan's hand.
"Yanyan, I'm sorry. I will be back."
Yanyan looked worriedly at Feifei then nodded.
"Go. I will wait here."
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Looking at Yuan's back, Feifei chased after him.
Feifei is overwhelmed and is besieged by many strong emotions.
He is nervous and shaking.
With trembling hands, Feifei clutch Yuan's shirt to stop Yuan from going.
"Yuan..." Feifei whispered very softly.
The moment Feifei touched Yuan's shirt, he can feel Yuan's body stiffened.
Feifei felt suffocated.
Yuan used to love his touch.
But now, he doesn't welcome it anymore.
This realization almost brought Feifei to his knees.
Feifei unconsciously took a step back and let go of the shirt he has been holding.
Yuan then turned and faced Feifei with a cold and impassive expression.
Feifei is hit by another blow.
He has never seen this kind of Yuan before.
The warmth, the affection.
The feelings he used to see in Yuan's face for her is gone.
Not a trace is left.
Yuan is clearly within his reach.
But.
It seems like there is more than distance between them.
This distance is more than mere distance.
Its really separation. Estrangement.
Tears are swimming in Feifei's eyes.
Yuan faced Feifei but he did not say anything. He just looked at Feifei with an air of detachment and....annoyance?
Feifei gritted his teeth.
He can't stand this kind of Yuan!
Feifei wrapped his arms around Yuan and leaned his forehead on Yuan's chest. Listening to his steady heartbeat. Missing his heat. His warmth.
He wants his Yuan back!
Yuan tensed up.
But he did not take off Feifei's arms around him. Nor pulled himself away.
But he did not move either.
He just stood there, non responsive.
"You have changed." Feifei choked.
Yuan just looked at him. But did not answer.
Silence.
"Yuan, I missed you." Feifei whispered softly.
Silence.
He is deeply hurt by Yuan's silence.
Now, Feifei deeply felt how silence hurt.
How much did Yuan endure his silence when he doesn't want to talk?
But Yuan still woo him, tolerated him.
Feifei swallowed hard and bravely pushed.
"We haven't seen each other for more than a month. How have you been?" Feifei looked up at Yuan's face. His eyes red with barely controlled tears and suppressed emotions.
Yuan attempted to take off Feifei's arms around him. But Feifei tightened his hold on his waist.
Feifei whimpered.
Yuan instantly went still.
He did not take off Feifei's arms hugging him anymore.
Yuan instead let Feifei see his impatience.
Feifei winced seeing Yuan's exasperation and irritability.
Yuan never showed him this kind of expression before.
He made Yuan like this.
Feifei swallowed hard and thickened his skin.
"Yuan, what happened? Can you please tell me? I want to...understand."
Feifei regrets.
He really regrets.
Now he understands the seriousness of his silence.
Yuan did not understand him anymore.
He hurt Yuan because of his silence.
His silence and indecisiveness.
If only he shared his thoughts.
If only he reached out to Yuan and not be ashamed to voice out his feelings.
If only he was brave enough to trust him.
If only he did.
Things would have turned out differently.
Yanyan is right.
He really did took Yuan for granted.
Yuan would always give and give.
He always take and take.
And he took everything for granted.
Not giving Yuan anything back.
When Feifei thought Yuan wouldn't answer, Yuan whispered softly in a low bitter voice.
"You don't even talk to me what you think, what you feel. Don't expect me to talk." Yuan answered coldy.
Feifei tightened his hold on Yuan's waist.
"I don't have time for guessing games." Yuan added in an even colder tone.
Yuan looked straight into Feifei's eyes then took off Feifei's arms around him.
He turned around.
Then left.
Feifei was stunned!
When Yuan looked him in the eyes, all he saw was endless darkness. Incomparable darkness. An abyss.
His body was paralyzed by fear.
When he blinked, Yuan's back is already fading into the distance.
Did Yuan just use his power against him?
Does he treat him as an....enemy?
Feifei held his chest. Its really painful.
He feels throttled.
Yuan...
He wants Yuan back.
This time he will do better.
If only he could re-write the past.
He will never commit the same mistake again.
He will certainly take Yuan's hand and jump to hell with him.
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When Feifei walked back to Yanyan, his eyes and cheeks were red.
Yanyan just looked at Feifei and did not say anything.
She just took Feifei's hand and squeezed it tight.
They just walked in silence.
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At the main village circle, even before they reached the village entrance, they met Aunt Xuefei.
Feifei froze.
He wants to hide behind Yanyan or burrow himself into the ground.
But Aunt Xuefei already saw them. She waved at them with a big smile on her face. Like seeing a long, lost prodigal daughter.
"Feifei!" Aunt Xuefei exclaimed happily when they were close enough to exchange words.
When they got closer, Aunt Xuefei automatically held Feifei's hands and patted them lightly.
Feifei can really feel how much Yuan's mother like him. But he failed her son.
"Aunt Xuefei." Feifei smiled lightly.
"Why haven't you been visiting me? Are you busy with the mines? Are you getting along with others just fine?" Aunt Xuefei asked with obvious concern.
"Everything is good. How have you been?" Feifei smiled more sincerely this time.
Feifei's heavy heart warmed a lot. Hearing Aunt Xuefei's worries about him makes him wish to have a mother too.
A mother who can guide and explain to him the ways of the world. A mother who unconditionally loves and protects him.
Having such a wonderful mother is a blessing. Yuan became what he is today due to his mother's painstaking efforts. Its true. Behind great men are the greatest mothers. After all, men are what mother's made them to be.
Aunt Xuefei smiled affectionately at Feifei.
"Are you going somewhere?" Aunt Feifei looked at him and then at Yanyan.
"This is my friend, Yanyan. Yanyan, this is Aunt Xuefei."
"Hello, Auntie." Yanyan immediately greeted.
Aunt Xuefei only nodded and smiled at Yanyan.
"Yanyan and I work together that's how we became friends. I was about to walk her out to the village entrance. Her partner made arrangements to come and pick her up there." Feifei explained.
"Then, you come to my house after you walk Yanyan to the village entrance. Let's chat." Aunt Xuefei invited.
Feifei just then noticed the woman beside Aunt Xuefei. The woman also looked at Feifei with curiosity.
"Aunt, who is she?" The woman asked softly.
"This is Feifei. His cousin entrusted us to look after her. Feifei this is Xin Lian. Yuan's childhood playmate." Aunt Xuefei upon remembering Xin Lian smiled broadly.
Yuan?! Yanyan looked at Feifei with wide eyes.
Is this Aunt, Feifei's future mother in law?!!
"Xin Lian is my best friend's daughter. When Yuan and Lili were young, both of them were inseparable. They even swore to marry each other!" Aunt Xuefei is laughing so happily that she did not see the horror on Feifei's face.
Aunt Xuefei wanted Yuan to be with Feifei at first but she remembered, Yuan already has a childhood sweetheart!
"You can say we are childhood sweethearts." Xin Lian directly declared ownership of Yuan.
Feifei : !!!!!
Yanyan : CHILDHOOD SWEETHEARTS?!!
Aunt Xuefei was taken aback by Yanyan's violent reaction.
"Yes." Xin Lian answered firmly.
Feifei clenched his hands tightly into fists as he tried so hard to keep his tears at bay.
Is she the sweetheart the Runner mentioned?
Feifei regrets! Really regrets!
A man as great and wonderful as Yuan had begged him. Begged him to just take his hand and have the courage to trust him.
He selfishly thinks of it as a risk.
But now, he thinks he was foolish.
It was not a risk. It was obviously a chance.
A chance he wished he could have taken.
Can he blame Yuan for walking away when he did nothing to let him stay?