CHAPTER NINETY SEVEN
Feifei did not know how he came back home. All he knows is, his emotions has been battered a couple of times today.
Learning about Yuan having moved on and finding a new sweetheart, was like a loud slap in the face.
Seeing Yuan so cold and distant to him, was like adding fuel to the fire.
Meeting Yuan's new sweetheart, was like rubbing salt in the already raw wound.
Do they all have to twist the knife when he's already wounded and miserable?
He should be hopping mad and curse Yuan.
But.
Despite all these hurts.
Every time he close his eyes, all he can see are the moments he spent with Yuan. And every time these memories come flashing back, it always reminds him how good they were together.
How close they used to be.
Feifei stared blankly at the front door. He did not know how long he was standing outside the house like that. He must look like the pathetic fool he feels he is.
He just couldn't move anymore.
Feifei looked over his shoulder to the village down below.
He feels the heartache.
He wants to grieve.
How can he move on and say goodbye to Yuan when all he ever wish was to spend his whole life with him?
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Yuan looked down at the sleeping Feifei. At the tear stained face of Feifei.
He feels a stab in his heart.
He knelt down and leaned closed to Feifei's face. Simply watching him breathe.
It has been two months since he last saw him. But everyday, Feifei's face has been haunting him.
Plaguing his every thoughts, his every dream and his every waking moments. Everything is full of him.
Feifei is everywhere in his mind, in his heart. He is everywhere except where he wants him to be. That's by his side. And it hurts. It hurts every single day.
How he wish he could just kiss him and make love to him instead of just hopelessly missing him.
Yuan moved closer and lightly touched their lips together.
"Baby, you will always and forever be the only one I will ever need. You can be at your worse everyday and I wouldn't mind. I will meet all your unreasonable demands and I would do as you wish. I will listen to your endless chattering and I wouldn't complain. I will put up with your temper and I would back down. I will do all these things for you and more."
"I will never ask you to change for me. For me you are already perfect. Nothing can compare to you. I just need you to realize you can be you when you're with me. You don't need to pretend or try so hard to be what you are not. I beg you, please... just be honest with me."
When Yuan was about to get up and leave, he stiffened when a hand clutched his trousers.
Looking down, he saw Feifei with his eyes still closed but he is making a painful sound in his sleep.
He seems to be having a restless dream? Yuan thought.
He knelt before Feifei again. That's when he heard Feifei's low incoherent cries.
"Don't... Yuan....me...I'm...I...you..."
Yuan frowned and moved closer. Patiently trying to make sense of Feifei's insensible mutterings.
Feifei whimpered.
Yuan automatically stiffened.
His guts would always stiffen every time Feifei makes that low feeble sound. Its a sound that speaks of pain and fear.
"Don't leave me, Yuan...I'm sorry" Feifei whimpered again.
Yuan choked back his growl.
"I love you." Feifei whispered as a tear fell from his lashes.
Yuan almost roared as he resonates with Feifei's pain.
He gritted his teeth and stared hard at Feifei.
He wants to gather Feifei in his arms and tell him it's okay.
But.
He doesn't want any lies and secrets to come between them anymore.
Baby, am I not worth the truth?
Yuan stood up before he lost control of himself. He walked to the door and looked over at Feifei.
"Baby, you are the person I never dreamt of having. And I don't intend to let you go. Not in this life, not even the next."
"Don't make me wait too long. I'm never right without you."