CHAPTER EIGHTY
When Feifei woke up, Yuan was already gone. The side where he slept is already cold. Only the hollow on the pillow held testament on Yuan's sleepover.
He laid his arm over his eyes and recalled last night's adventure. He really thought he would expire from too much pleasure.
No doubts about it, he loved every single moment. He honestly enjoyed it.
The intimate feeling of oneness with Yuan, is the most beautiful and pleasurable thing. That he can almost taste it.
But, is that normal?
Does other people do that too?
He wants to talk to someone. Maybe to Yanyan. He wants to know how she feels with her partner and if they have done it too?
Feifei froze.
It doesn't mean they are friends, they can bare out everything. That would be shameful, isn't it?
If Yanyan talks about the intimacy between her and her partner, wouldn't that mean he has to share it too?
Or lie to Yanyan he hasn't tried it yet?
Or just keep quiet?
The norm is between a man and a woman. They don't use their ass for sex, do they?
How can he possibly tell another soul how Yuan shoved his fingers to his ass?
Could he tell Yanyan how he loved it when Yuan would forcefully ram his cock to his ass?
And that except from their first sex, the succeeding ones were on a different level?
Would Yanyan be horrified?
Would she find such a beautiful thing, disgusting?
Being different is not disgusting, isn't it?
They have not killed nor robbed other people.
What Yuan and him did is just different than what's common.
He really would like to have someone whom he can share things with.
Someone who understands.
Someone who wouldn't judge.
Yuan is Yuan. He can share things with him.
But its different sharing between friends. There are some things that Yuan might not understand.
What to do?
When he was about to get up, he heard approaching footsteps which gets heavier as it gets closer.
He looked at the door right before Yuan showed up with a slight smile on his face. His hair is wet. He is also wearing a new change of clothes.
"You went back?"
"uhm."
"You must have woken up early?"
"uhm."
Yuan sat close to Feifei and held his hand as he leaned down to kiss his lips.
"Morning." Yuan whispered on Feifei's lips.
Yuan can feel Feifei's smile as his lips stretched a little.
He believes the temptress is in a good mood.
"I thought you were gone without saying a word. Again." Feifei murmured.
"I'm happy you're still here."
Yuan stilled.
"That. I'm sorry." He kissed Feifei's forehead then looked straight into his eyes.
"I left home when I was five to learn the arts of fighting. Since then, I don't answer to anyone but myself. When I became the Marshal, if there are tasks that needs to travel, I simply leave. If I'm not going home, my parents would just assume I'm in town. I have a house there." Yuan stroked Feifei's hair as he explained.
"If the task is challenging, that's the only time I would notify my father."
Feifei blinked his eyes at him. Then he bit his lips.
"Would you...tell me?" Feifei hesitated.
Yuan smiled down at him.
"Of course. You have the right to know where I am or where I'm going. Moving forward, I will inform you." Yuan promised.
"Are we together?" Feifei asked.
His mind strayed again.
The mare receives a proper courtship from her stallion. Why can't he, a human, not have the privilege of courtship too?
Is he less than a horse?
"FEIFEI..!" Yuan gritted his teeth.
"Are we?" Feifei insisted.
Yuan closed his eyes tight. Then took a deep breath.
"Fei, if there are things that upsets you and it involves us, let me know, okay?"
"Okay."
"Now tell me. Why are you asking if we are together? What is all this nonsense?"
"Its not nonsense!" Feifei immediately shouted in response.
"I want to know if we are really together. I want to hear the words. Its not nonsense! You... Me. We haven't made things clear."
Yuan can feel an incoming headache.
"It's not nonsense. I'm sorry." Yuan immediately backed down seeing Feifei's agitated state.
Then he sighed.
"Baby, just tell me straight what you want to know. I don't know how to read minds. I may not give you the kind of answer that would satisfy you or say the right words that you want to hear but I will honestly answer it the only way I know how. I'm also new at this. Help me out here, okay?"
Feifei bit his lips.
"Okay."
Yuan took a deep breath.
"Let me ask you one thing. Don't think too much. The way I treat you and the way you respond to me. The thing that already happened between us. Tell me, are we together?"
"Yes." Feifei grumbled.
Yuan can't remember how many times he sighed this morning. He feels like he would be loosing all his air anytime soon.
"Fei, look at me."
Yuan held Feifei's chin and faced it towards him. With his eyes full of sincerity and calmness, he whispered.
"I love you."
Feifei held his breath. His heart is beating faster than he thought was possibly normal.
He really feels insecure not knowing how Yuan feels about him. He can see through Yuan's actions that he likes him. He can feel that Yuan likes him.
But he needs to hear the words too!
Now, he feels so happy. So very happy.
He loves me!
Feifei jumped into Yuan's arms and burst out crying.
Yuan : !!!!!
Did he upset him with his words? Yuan doesn't understand how Feifei's mind turn.
He is so confused and helpless.
Yuan sighed yet again.
He can only stroke Feifei's back to comfort him. "Ssshhh.. I'm here."
After awhile, Feifei stopped crying and wiped his snoot on Yuan's shirt.
Watching Feifei abusing his newly changed shirt, Yuan just smiled at Feifei with indulgence in his eyes.
What else can he do?