Emerald's POV-
When I got out of the shower, I used the towel to wipe down the mirror, and that's when I noticed the significant bruised bite mark on my collar bone. It was massive looking and wasn't attractive at all. I turned around in the mirror slightly to look at the one on my backside, and it was just as big and purple-looking.
I also had marks on my ass and thighs still from August smacking me repeatedly. I didn't mind that he was like that, but the aftermath effects are hard to look at. My body doesn't look like my own anymore.
'That's because it's not.' Zeb's voice reminded me quickly.
I heard more from Zeb than I do, Anala now.
She was ignoring me because she, too, didn't like the fact that I had been purposely holding back from August emotionally. I don't see why that should matter to her, though. August and I had no problems being physically comfortable with one another, and if he really wanted to know how I felt, he could check for himself at any time.
So why do I have to make some grand gesture towards him? Why do I have to say out loud how I feel openly? It's just never going to be enough. Not for August, not for Zeb, and not for Anala either. Not until I give up every last bit of myself will they be satisfied.
I brushed my teeth when I could smell August's scent close by again. I quickly finished and wrapped the towel back around myself and did not parade around for him. I can't be mad with him, which is annoying, but I was still stubborn enough to be able to think that him getting upset about this was ridiculous.
I shook my wet curls out a minute and unlocked the bathroom door. When I went into my bedroom, it was empty, but I could still sense that August wasn't too far away from my room. He was feeling off right now. To me, anyway, it seemed strange. I could sense the jealous hostility he felt, which once again is ridiculous because nothing happened, and I was a child, so who cares?
'I care, but that doesn't matter to you.' August's voice said venomously into my brain.
'Get out of my head. You're insane.' I replied back.
I went to my closet and started to pick out something to wear for the day when I heard my bedroom door slam open. I took in a sharp breath and held it. I didn't want to take in his scent because it would be harder to stand my ground. I gripped the towel that was still around me tighter and kept my eyes fixated on the hanging clothes instead of the glare I was now receiving from August.
"I can't help it, Emerald, you're mine, and I can't have pictures of you looking at other males running through my head."
I froze immediately and looked up at him.
"You could see it?" I asked him and could feel the blush come over my cheeks.
"Yes, I'll eventually see all of your memories, and unfortunately... it's going to happen to you too." He said, and suddenly he didn't feel angry anymore.
He felt guilty. Painfully guilty, and it made my rib cage feel like it was caving in. I just stared back at him and analyzed every emotion he was having, and then something blocked my vision.
It was still August, I saw, but it was a younger version of him.
We weren't in my bedroom or my closet anymore, and what I saw knocked whatever comfort blanket the mate bond had been holding me in from my body, and for the first time in days, I felt like my old self again. That side of me that burns with rage and anger that has pretty much been being smothered by this mate hold.
It was August, and he was smiling at someone who had their long fingers tangled in his soft-looking black hair. He still had the scar and that white ghost eye, but he seemed different to me. He wasn't just smiling at anyone. He was smiling at a tall red-headed woman with long legs that were exposed because she only had on white lace underwear. August was shirtless, and his arms were wrapped around her waist. She whispered something into his ear, and I saw his blue eye darken before he started to kiss her roughly.
The image didn't last long, but it was enough to set my hair on fire. I blinked and looked back at August, who already had his hands up as if to try to tell me to calm down.
'Get out.' I linked to him and growled while taking a step back.
"I'm sorry I know it hurts." He said gently and tried to reach for me.
My hands were lit with green flames, and they burned right through the towel I was holding around myself.
"GET OUT!" I screamed, and I could sense the flames around my hands grow.
August jumped back from me, but he didn't leave the room. He only backed out of the closet. I slammed the closet door shut and didn't even think about the clothes anymore and just threw on the first thing I grabbed. My hands were burning holes through every fabric I touched, but I didn't care.
I grabbed my running shoes and slipped them on, and I could even feel Anala was also seething. I hoped she was giving Zeb hell.
Did he purposely put that in my head? For what? To punish me? To get back at me?
What he saw from me was nothing even close to what I saw. I didn't even have to see more of it to know that August had slept with that woman. He kissed her. He touched her. He lusted for her, and he enjoyed whatever it was she whispered.
My hands were trembling while I tried desperately to tie my shoelaces. My whole body was vibrating, and I just kept chanting to myself over and over to try and push down the gut-wrenching feeling I was having.
Just keep it in. Please keep it in. Keep it in.
I swung the closet door open and didn't make eye contact with August as I made my way out of the room. Before I could even get to the door, August had grabbed my wrist and pulled me back.
"Where are you going?" He asked me, and when I saw his face, the chanting in my head wasn't enough.
Even in his grip, my hands were shaking with anger, and I grabbed his arm back and held him tightly before allowing the green flames to grow. August let go of me and tried to pull his arm back, but I grabbed a handful of his shirt and pulled him to me.
"If you ever fucking think about touching me again, I will make sure you hurt every day."
I said through gritted teeth and ignored the fact that I was burning holes into August's clothing.
I could feel how much my words had hurt him. He even whimpered and gave me sad, guilty eyes before looking down as if he were ashamed. I hoped he was ashamed. I could feel nothing else but intense hatred towards that woman and how he was touching her.
I let go of his arm and shirt before turning back and leaving him behind in my room.
Keep it in. Keep it in.
I said this to myself after each step down the stairs, but tiny green flames would appear and start to burn the wood from my footsteps.
I frantically looked around the living room until I found my bike helmet and jogged to the kitchen, and grabbed my keys off the counter. I started heading for the front door when I heard a loud threatening growl from behind me.
"Emerald, don't. You can hurt me if you want, but you can't leave."
Keep it in, dammit.
I let out a breath. I didn't realize I was still holding and didn't turn back when I grabbed the door handle and swung the front door open. I sensed August's panic immediately, and I sprinted toward my bike. I dropped my helmet and didn't try and go back for it.
August was roaring behind me, but I drowned it out with the sound of the bike's engine before spinning out and taking off from the house.
'COME BACK HERE NOW!' he screamed into my brain, but I only forced the bike to go faster, and tears streamed down my face from the mighty wind.
August must not have been chasing me because the further I got from him, the more my body started to hurt. My chest felt too tight to breathe, and my muscles and back had shooting sharp pains running through it. Anala even wanted me to go back. It was hurting her just as bad, but she would just have to get over it.
As badly as it hurt, I just couldn't look at his face right now. I didn't want to see him, and I damn sure wouldn't let him comfort me about him fucking another woman. Another ripple of rage coursed through my veins, and I knew exactly what I needed to feel better again. To feel anything else except this.
'Please, I can't stand being this far away from him.' Anala said to me, and it was one of those short times where she wasn't demanding me.
She was sincerely asking this of me, but she had been ignoring me through most of this, and I've been trying to swim blindly, not knowing which way was up or down without anyone to talk to. She was too concerned with Zeb even to care when she knew I was struggling with this.
'I don't care about your stupid mate.' I said back to her.
'He is our mate!' She snapped back.
I ignored her and continued to make my way to the edge of town until I found the old road that was mostly covered with grass now. When I stopped the bike, I wiped the tears from my face and made my way down the steep hill.
I couldn't hold it in anymore, and as soon as I made it into the dark, damp tunnel, I allowed all the rage out, and it snaked its way down my arms and to my wrists until my hands were both holding balls of green fire.
I screamed and closed my eyes as the image of August, and that woman came back to my brain. I felt hate like I never had before. Not even towards the man that gave me this power. Nothing came close to the awful feeling of betrayal and hurt that I feel now.
I could feel the air around me heat up, and when I opened my eyes and unclenched my hands, and dark green flames shot from my palms, and my entire body felt shocked with adrenaline. The whole tunnel was lit, and the fire never let up because I wouldn't let them. I could feel my feet want to start to lift off the ground, but I fought against it.
I wanted the flames to consume me. I wanted them to burn me into a pile of ashes. I wanted the fire to hurt or at least cause me some kind of discomfort. I wanted the flames to kill me, but they never will.
I just didn't want to be anymore.
How many were there? How many more times would I have to be forced to see August with another woman? Sure, he'd have to see my memories of me what? Kissing Keith? August slept with who knows how many other females before me.
I couldn't handle it. I couldn't see him smiling and kissing and laughing with someone else constantly. I wanted to hate him. I wanted to hate him so badly, but I couldn't. This stupid mate bond will not allow me to hate August. No matter what I see of what he does or says, I just will never be able to do it.
But I can't hate everything else.
I can hate the woman. I can hate the fact that he didn't wait. I can hate the fact that I will never be his first. I can hate his past. I can hate the mate bond. I can hate ever being mated in the first place. I can hate being a Luna. And I can hate myself for never being able to hate him.
I dropped to my knees and slammed my fists down on the concrete repeatedly because even with playing with the fire, my chest still hurt. Everything hurt all because I wasn't right next to August, and I just wanted everything to stop. Flames consumed my bloody fists and started to travel up my arms, but I ignored them because all I could see was August with his lips on another woman.
I just kept slamming my fists over and over, screaming and crying like a maniac, until I finally just felt exhausted. Most of my fingers were broken, but they would heal fast. My knuckles were busted open with deep wounds, and blood was gushing out.
If August can feel what I feel, does that mean he feels this too? If I hurt myself, will it hurt him in the process? With that thought in mind braced myself and bent one arm up, and wrapped the other arm around it. I sat up straight on my knees, and even though I was scared of how bad this would hurt, I knew it wouldn't kill me and that I would heal.
I held my elbow out and then slammed it down as hard as I could against the concrete. As soon as it connected with the hard ground, I could feel my elbow shatter, and I screamed in agony. I hoped it hurt him worse, though. I hoped it was painful for him, and I hoped he would take my warning seriously.
The thought of his hands on me in the same way they were on her was enough to set my body on fire again, and I braced myself before slamming my elbow against the concrete again.