Shea's tears flowed down consistently. She didn't wish any other person to see her like this.
"Miss. Shea?" Her biggest fear turned true. Asher, her husband's best friend, and his commander saw her like this. She wanted to stop the droplets, but it was consistent in its job. It held her wrath, sadness, and helplessness for over five years! It's been over five years since she could get any relief! She always wanted to leave everything aside but when she can finally let everything go, she can't… It's not only about her leaving, but she also had to leave her precious memories here, and surely she couldn't go back to her home after getting kicked out, no matter how much her family, and her pack also requests her.
"What happened, Mistress?" Asher asked Shea worriedly. She gathered her strength and got up.
"Nothing much…" her voice was hoarse and shaky. Her legs were still giving her out, She tried her best not to fall on her knees.
He sighed and continued, "I know what happened… Please don't take it seriously… Everything would be over, Mistress. And I hope that you could understand him… Please understand…"
Shea cut him off and retaliated, "I don't understand! I don't understand him! And you know it? He surely doesn't have any shame to make others know of his irresponsible deeds! And listen! I am DIVORCING him! I can't understand him and nor do I wish to… As a mother… I am a mother…" her consistent voice broke down, Asher wore a sympathetic face.
Shea continued, "For a mother… her biggest happiness is her child… it's my hope, Asher. I can't give my child up for a peaceful, safe life… A mother can never do so… you won't understand… you won't…" her legs finally gave up, She tried to stay as strong as possible but her tears overflowed. He knelt down and put his hands on her shoulders, giving assurance.
"I don't know… I am not familiar with how it feels… but for the strong and mighty Luna to behave like this… it must be a pathetic feeling… it's hard but as your subject, I know it… you will pass through it… it may be hard now but your future will shine along with the new life…" his assurance was helpful to her. Shea stopped her wailing and asked him, "Subjects…? I am not…"
"You are! You are our Mistress! Just as we are Edgar's subject, we are your subjects too… You made us acknowledge you with your efforts, you won us!"
"Won you…? But…"
"It may be a difficult path to win everyone… especially the ministers, who believe you to run behind power and fame by pleasing the ordinary tribesmen. But I have seen you, I know how you are!" His bold voice made Shea strong and believe in herself.
"Asher… Thank You… Thank You a lot… Your words helped me a lot. I always thought I failed as the Luna. But after knowing that I succeeded in making others happy, I am a lot better. My efforts didn't go to waste. And you are right, I can't possibly please everyone including Edgar… I can only do my best and do it from my heart so that I can acknowledge myself!"
"That's a good resolution… True satisfaction can only be obtained when we are true to ourselves, and acknowledge ourselves!"
Shea rubbed her eyes and continued, "I am not sure if I will meet you again… I trust you… Edgar trusts you and so does Chris! I hope you could take care of Chris, I am his mother too and I am afraid that if something truly happens to him, the situation is dangerous, after all!"
"Will you really leave the tribe?" She nodded at his question.
"But what about your livelihood?"
"No need to worry, Asher. I am fully capable of taking care of myself since the moon goddess bestowed me power, strength, and will! I will not only protect myself and my child but also my tribe… I don't know when Edgar would try to destroy the city…"
He surprisedly said, "Edgar would never…" but she interrupted him. Shea didn't wish to have this discussion for a long time. She wanted to cut it short.
"I hope we don't have to face each other in war because at that time I can only choose my pack… my home…"
"Mistress indeed, Edgar never felt for you but you don't know him either…"
"True… I don't know him but since he could kill his child, I don't believe he can't break his promise!"
He sighed, "Believe me, you would regret saying this about him if you get to know him…"
Shea shook her head, "I don't count on the future, I only act on the present. I wouldn't know what kind of person he is since I am going to leave anyway! It's my time to return… See you later, if it's written in our destiny " I bid him farewell. Truthfully, I did not wish to meet him again, to a person with whom my true feelings were shared.
"Let me escort you back"
"There's no need" I rejected him kindly.
"You don't have to feel ashamed… it's good to pour out our feelings. You need that, only then can you be strong. But I want to ask you a question, you don't need to answer me, just listen to your heart…" I turned my gaze towards him.
"Say…"
"Is this not your pack, your home too? Have you never felt the same warmth as your tribe? I know it's hard to feel the same warmth but…"
"Asher, please let Edgar be there for the new Luna…" he gave me a weird look.
"It's hard to feel the warmth but when a person is ignored by the person, she should not… it's more heartbreaking… You all tried your best but my life began here for him but he himself never let me feel any warmth… how could I feel it as my home? Home isn't made of a bunch of luxuries but with emotions… I never needed what I have in my wardrobe, it was only a burden for me to become the best Luna ever! It was my only goal to repay his kindness. I had to be strong all the time for the things that don't matter to me, that I don't like! I could never even shed my tears in my child's death… let alone other times… just to be a Strong Luna, the best Luna…" Shea took a long breath and continued, "Let the next Luna be a Luna with emotions, not someone who is taken off these rights…"
Asher was speechless. Shea made her way to the room for a good rest.