My name is Stella. You don't need to know my surname.
To whoever is going to read this letter, regardless your age.
Are you male or female ? Or perhaps you are neither male nor female.
Before you read my last words, I want you to know that I don't seek for any comfort or pity.
I just want you to know that I existed.
I just want to feel like someone knows me.
Please do not judge me for my choices, you don't know all of my story.
Was it a mistake to want to be the centre of the world ?
Maybe.
I don't want to die like this, I swear.
But do I have any other choice ? No.
Don't say that we always have the choice.
My life has proven that it's not true.
I'm lonely.
I am sad.
I'm scared. So much.
I don't even think that I'm angry.
While someone else would have been mad.
Blood isn't thicker than water.
My own "family" want to kill me.
How can I survive ?
Why is the world so corrupted that power is over the law ?
I hate it.
No one want to help me. Because everyone fear POWER.
I understand it.
I'm running away. Again and again.
Where can I go ? Where can I hide ?
I'm crying. Always.
I want to live. I can't.
I'm drowning in my despair.
I know that no matter how hard I'm fighting, they will take my life away.
So here I am. Writing my last words.
To say that this world is unfair.
People already know it. I know.
To say that I don't want to be forgotten.
But who I am ? No one.
To say that I want to be the centre of the world...
But who I am ? No one.
I am just one in billions of people.
I am unimportant.
I am almost nonexistent.
The world without me wouldn't change anything.
I would want to say more. But time is running out.
All of my wishes that will never happen, I want someone to know that they indeed existed.
There is no point on telling the truth about why my "family" want to kill me.
You just need to know that SOMEONE want me to disappear.
It's so funny how I thought that SOMEONE was innocent like me. A victim too.
I was so naive.
Too late for me.
Maybe I was just stupid and blind.
Too late for any regrets.
That's right. Crying, screaming, begging...None of that will change my fate.
I'm 22 and I'm going to do the last step.
That's a kind euphemism.
Ending my life myself is better than someone else doing it.
I hope you can understand what I mean.
Again, please don't judge my choices.
You don't know the whole story.
I just wanted people to care about me. To love me to the moon and back.
I wanted to be the centre of the world.
But I expected from the wrong people.
For too long.
Some will say that I was weak to do that.
It's true.
I will not deny it.
But don't forget that it take a lot of will and courage to die.
You don't know how much.
It took me a lot of tears and self harm to accept my fate.
I'm unfortunate.
Maybe the worse thing I did was harming my body.
It did not deserve to be in pain because of them.
I DO regret.
Luck is not with me.
I know it.
Destiny seems to not like me.
I know it.
The future will happen without me.
I know it.
I can't accept it.
The past me want to forget everything.
I want to be in a dream.
Rather a nightmare.
I want to go back in time.
I want to woke up and realized that everything that happened was an illusion.
Too beautiful to happen.
I wonder if there are people with the same fate as me right now.
But I hope there aren't. No one deserve to die.
Because when you're faced with imminent death, you wish with all your heart to live...
I know it.
I wonder how much time have passed...
Months or years ?
Is it possible centuries ?
Even if no one will read this, I'm relieved that I expressed my feelings for of one last time.
Thank you for reading.
Stella,
17th of April 20XX