It was not a normal day. My friend invited me to go to the mall. Just walked and feel the free aircon it provides.
I've been stressed out by my course requirements I ended up doing nothing at all. Maybe a breath of free air conditioning could get me back to my game. After all, where will I go if I ended up having a failed mark? I might as well be an orphan. Oh, wait. I am semi orphan. Hmmm.. yeah that's about right.
Chai tugged my arm in the sweltering heat beside the crowded road. It is as if the pandemic never happened. Since the government lowered the restrictions unless they get threatened with jail or fine nobody gave a damn. Well, we still both wear our masks. I don't want to die yet. I still haven't gone to Japan and rented a boyfriend. At least, I wish to fulfill that goal of mine.
It is like I'm entering heaven the moment we stepped at the entrance, the line might be long but at least free cold air. It was bliss after the guard checked our bags. Well, mine took long since I always bring my backpack with me. Better leave it at the counter since I didn't bring my laptop. Who in the world would bring that sh*tty laptop. It's old as decade, you can still see the windows vista sticker on it. Well, it is still working, but damn it's heavy as hell.
"Let's leave our bags first" I insisted. I don't want to carry it, but I still bring it. What the hell is wrong with me? Chai nodded along.
She was excited it's been so long since she came to the city. We both live in mountains. And yes we aren't Tarzan just clueless about city vibes. Although I've been here for two months I only step out to buy Yakult at a store in front of my grandma's house. I call her aunty although she's my grandma's sister. I refer to my grandma as "ma". Just a habit. Ever since little I've been copying my father on names. That's why I often get confused by people as mama's youngest.
"Shy wanna eat something?" She asked with eyes that you could tell right away even with my blurry vision, sparkling.
"Sure, as long as we don't get broke," I said eyeing the Starbucks in my peripheral vision.
I remember the first time I entered one of their stores. I don't know anything! I don't know how to order! Or the prices! My aunt took me to one, I just chose something I'd like, a cheap one with chocolate. I honestly don't remember what I chose. I was baffled by the sizes. What the heck is grande even mean? Can't they not choose highfalutin words? Then I remember names in science I so love? It might not be as unusual. Since Starbucks needed something new, to distinguish themselves and attract today's self-centered generation who posts everything from food and thankfully they do not post the byproduct of it. Who'd even pressed heart reacted on a picture of feces or urine? Just imagine, someone posting (just ate steak in a five-star restaurant last night, here's the juicy fella now) *coughs* not so juicy now, right? Ugh, disgusting. I hate imagining it. I hate my mind for imagining it.
Well, maybe urine might be captured on camera in the year a certain chemist discovered the element phosphorus because he's trying to find gold in our body since urine is yellowish... what a plausible hypothesis. Thanks to it we have matches we have now. Funny, well for me it is but for others not so well.
"So what should we buy?" said Chai, interrupting my mental monologue. I didn't notice we are already in the elevator.
"Let me think. Hmmm" I began to think seriously. I think I'm serious, well that's what I think.
"How about shawarma. It's buy one take one so we can just split the payment and you haven't had one right?"
"Shawarma it is!" She chirped. Chai is my classmate in high school. I don't remember when but we become close as she went with my weird antics. Back then I was scared if we really are close. Since I always seem to make all the decisions and she just went along. But as time goes by, she becomes more open and freely voices her thoughts. My fear disappeared. I'm only 1 centimeter taller than her, but that still counts!! She usually has her hair long that it reaches her waist. I used to be the same in my younger years but because it's much thicker than average, it becomes unbearable. In the end, I ended up having it short, really short. Even Chai was shocked to see it for the first time. Then she got used to it. The reason I got it short? Hmmm... breakup? Haha, no way!
I just got rejected that's all. Ouch! I subconsciously clenched my chest.
"You okay?" She asked.
I laughed "Yeah, yeah I'm alright" I smiled awkwardly.
Don't think! Don't think! Self get a hold of yourself! Don't think! You'll get depressed again. Happy thoughts.
Happy thoughts...
F*ck! It ain't working.
Thankfully, we arrived at the stall. This will distract me. We asked for the price. I paid it whole.
"Here's my share" Chai handed me money as we walked eating the shawarma at hand. I took it without much of a thought.
People might think in our situation, I shouldn't take it. But this is the point of friendship, being equals. I sometimes pay, her too also, and most of the time we split it. We're not from any rich family. But that doesn't really matter.
We can have fun in our own way. Like me reading some pages in booksale. Pretending to browse. Then, walking out after the staff eyes burn my clothes from staring. We would laugh at it on our way.
We're on our way to the third level. This is where nothing gets in our way thinking, is always wrong. I'm not wearing my glasses today, but I know with just a glimpse of his hair, or just his body structure or his posture is. I know him to the point that I wish I was like this when we needed to memorize the periodic table.
I felt my knees weaken. Unfortunately, it is not rayuma. We're also nearing the top and Chai is preoccupied with eating she didn't notice the hell waiting for me.
Oh, how I wished we were not too lazy enough and just took the stairs instead. But yeah this is what I get. I slid my nose into my mask. I know it's futile. Since we know each other enough to recognize even with mask.
There I saw the gates of Hades, except there was no Cerberus anywhere, just a lovely couple on a date. I wished it was the hound instead. But wishes don't get granted often.
Bang! It is as if the bullet passed through between my brows. We locked eyes! He saw me! He saw me staring at him. Yup, I surrender. Goodbye life, I wished isekai really is real.
My knee was worse than getting rayuma. It weakened so much that yes... I am falling on the elevator. I don't know If I still wish to live after this great deal of shame. And the color drained from his face as he saw what's happening.