"You want us to what?" Shikamaru asked as he and his entire team sat at the ramen bar that Naruto loved to frequent. After meeting Asuma and allowing Naruto to indulge in what was turning out to be his seventh bowl of ramen, Asuma got to talking about the next thing that they would be doing, namely something that none of them had been expecting as he handed them forms of consent for some kind of examination.
"You heard me right the first time." The jounin of Team 10 said resolutely, "You guys have what it takes. I want to see you guys excel, and that's why I'm entering you in the upcoming chunin exam taking place in Tetsu no Kuni." He got the attention of Teuchi and Ayame who were both listening in to what the man responsible for their number one customer was saying, "You guys believe in them right?" He put his hand on the nearby Naruto's head as he was busy slurping up what seemed to be a neverending stream of noodles into his mouth, "Because this… this is the face of a man of intensity."
Naruto stopped eating long enough to stare at Asuma strangely and finish chewing anything leftover in his mouth, "Whatever you say Asuma-sensei… oh! And by the way I can cut the leaf."
Asuma then gestured to Naruto in a grandiose manner as if to say something to Shikamaru, "And you don't think you guys can do it? Let me tell you something. You, Naruto, and Ino are actually way better than most genin teams I've personally seen. You guys have pretty much knocked my expectations out of the park. It's your choice though, I can only push you so hard. In the end it's the option of each of you to compete."
"I'm in." Naruto said with another mouthful of food. He had a month of pent-up frustration to work off after trying to cut that damn leaf every single day and getting nowhere. A good fight would do him some good as far as he was concerned, and that wasn't even glossing over the getting promoted prospect of the proposal. If he had freaked out over getting one step closer to Hokage he would have spilled his food.
Naruto was not going to spill his goddamn ramen under any circumstances. He could freak out later.
Ino interjected from her seat as she swirled around her food in the bowl, "I'll do it too. Asuma-sensei is right, we can beat anybody."
Shikamaru shook his head, "Nope, no way." He asserted, "Being a chunin just means more work and me being stuck in more troublesome situations. It hasn't even been six months since I became a ninja and I think I've had enough of it already to last me a lifetime."
Ino simply shrugged as she continued to eat her food, "Fine. Have fun telling your mom the reason you skipped out on getting promoted when your own sensei said you could pull it off was because you want to stay a genin for life. I'm sure that'll go over great for you." She said off-handedly, a satisfied feeling coming over her when she saw Shikamaru freeze in place.
"That was dirty Ino." Shikamaru said with a sigh, "Why'd you have to bring her into it, even though you're absolutely right couldn't you just let me do something without thinking all about it for once."
"Nope." Ino chirped brightly, "You're the brains of the team, so if you're not thinking which one of us will?" Naruto raised his hand as he continued to eat, "Exactly. And that's why Shikamaru has to do it. I like living."
"Oi!" Naruto said, finishing off his bowl of ramen, "Now I've been getting over-. Hold on." He stopped his own speech so that he could spend around fifteen seconds drinking down the leftover broth in his bowl, sighing contently when he polished it off before continuing, "Now I've been getting over that 'Naruto is stupid' thing since the day we became a team, I want some credit here."
Ino smirked and rested her hand in her cheek, "Then say something smart that is actually useful to what we're talking about. Right now."
Naruto squinted his eyes and crossed his arms in thought, "Um… Tetsu no Kuni is cold. Really cold."
"Duh." Ino remarked, "It's so fucking far north, how wouldn't it be? Keep trying Naruto." She said, twirling a lock of hair around her finger.
Naruto grumbled before tapping his head with his chopsticks, "Fine, Tetsu no Kuni doesn't have any shinobi. Is that enough for you? They have samurai, real samurai, not the thugs with shitty swords that I beat up in Nami no Kuni in like six seconds. They can use chakra too, just not like a ninja can. Did you know that?" Ino stared at him before shaking her head, "There, so kiss my ass. I knew something you didn't. Ha."
"But now I do know it, so that just adds on to the amount of information that I already had, thus still keeping my intelligence ahead of yours." Ino said with a sly smile.
"Goddamn it." Naruto said, bouncing his head off of the counter, "I just can't ever win…" He lifted his head to reveal him crying anime tears, "I'm smart… really smart. You'll all see."
Teuchi chuckled at Naruto's animated reaction while Ayame rubbed Naruto's head consolingly, "It's okay Naruto, you're sharp…-er. You're sharper than you used to be for sure and it's definitely noticeable. Don't give up, Konoha wasn't built in a day after all!"
Naruto grabbed his hair and exclaimed, "Why do people keep saying that about me getting smarter?"
XxX
"Why are you guys following me?" Naruto asked as he found himself being followed by Shikamaru and Chouji. Teams 7 and 10 ran into each other and once Ino and Sakura started getting into it, Naruto, Shikamaru, and Chouji decided to slip away and enjoy their day off. Sasuke, the reason behind the two girls arguing found time to slip away shortly into the conflict to head home, choosing not to follow the boys or stay around the girls.
"Because…" Chouji said as he took a second to throw some chips from the bag he was carrying into his mouth, "We have the day off to think about if we want to go to the chunin exams next month and we don't have anything to do."
Shikamaru followed up on his friend's statement, "Did you really think we'd stay there with Ino and Sakura fighting over Sasuke like usual? If you've seen it once you've seen it a million times. You'd think they'd be sick of it by now."
"But they're not." Naruto added, "All I'm going to do is hang out with Shiho-chan for a bit since I never told her I left on a mission or came back. It's going to be boring for you guys."
Chouji shook his head, "Not really. If she's a friend of yours… why not be a friend of ours too? Besides, if we didn't then we wouldn't be doing anything today anyway."
"Which I would probably prefer if I'm going to be doing all of this chunin exam stuff." Shikamaru said, walking with a slouch and his hands in his pockets, "This is going to suck. Why is everything moving so fast for us? Do rookies even get chances to be chunin?"
Naruto turned and grinned at him, "Maybe it's because we're just that damn good?" Naruto said as they reached the doorstep to Shiho's home, "I mean, of course we are! Who cares if we're rookie genin going into the stupid chunin exams, we're going to kick ass, and do you know why? Because-!" Just as Naruto reached to knock on the door it flew open and smashed him in the face, sending him flying back, "Ow…"
Shiho stood with her hand on the doorknob and a frantic look on her face, "Did you just say you were going to be in the upcoming chunin exams?" She asked all three of them.
"Um…" Shikamaru looked over at Chouji who shrugged, "Yeah? Why does it really matter?"
Shiho rushed over to Naruto and grabbed him by the collar of his windbreaker as she dragged him inside, "In the house, right now you guys!" She said to Chouji and Shikamaru who were both standing outside in confusion of what was going on, "We have things to talk about!"
Both boys looked at each other before deciding to do what the crazy girl asked of them, heading inside and navigating her maze of bookcases to reach the table where she had deposited Naruto to sit. They sat down as well to fill the quaint little table, "So…" Naruto said, holding his nose from where he had been hit by the door, "What's the big deal? Yeah, chunin exams."
"You don't get it?" Shiho said before laughing sheepishly, "Well nevermind, you guys aren't privy to the stuff that I know so I guess I overreacted." She cleared her throat and took up a lecturing pose, "If you're telling me the truth then this will mark the first time in 5 years that a rookie team will take part, let alone more than one rookie team."
"No pressure though." Shikamaru said sarcastically, "Man this is going to be more troublesome than I thought."
Shiho looked over at Shikamaru and blushed slightly before returning to her point, 'Y-Yes, well these exams are supposed to be rather harsh. I'm afraid I don't know too much about the process of examination however… I never really took the exam you see." She said, adjusting her glasses on her face before pointing at herself, "I'm not much of a fighter at all. No team would really take me and risk being killed."
With hearing that, Shikamaru threw his hands into the air, "And we can die too? This just sounds better and better all the time. Why the hell are we taking these exams?"
Chouji's fingers were nervously tapping the tabletop, "It really doesn't seem like something that most people want to find themselves involved in huh?" Chouji commented in agreement of Shikamaru.
"We'll be fine." Naruto dismissed the worries of the other two fresh genin there with him, "I still want to go, that's definitely for sure. It's the chance of a lifetime!" He said excitedly, "How many times am I going to get a chance like this?"
"Actually Uzumaki-kun, the next exam will happen again in six months." Shiho interjected informatively.
"Six months?" Naruto said with a raised eyebrow, "To hell with six months, I want to do it now. This is going to be so cool! We're going to get to fight so many new people, see new stuff in a new country!"
"…Run into all kinds of new troublesome situations…" Shikamaru said, still not looking forward to the effort that the exams would undoubtedly force him to exert just to make it back home in one piece.
"…New country…" Chouji said with his eyes glazing over at the thought of something, "All kinds of new food that I haven't tried yet. And we're the main point of the chunin exams which is apparently some kind of big deal so you know if we do well they'll totally feed us with a huge feast! I'm in!"
Naruto could still see that Shikamaru was apprehensive over the whole chunin exams thing as he threw an arm over his shoulder, "Chill out Shikamaru, if you don't think we can do it we still have a few weeks to get ready. You're a kid from a clan just like Chouji, you have tons of ready-made things you can study. I'm the one that has to find my own ways to train."
With that, Shikamaru's mind turned to something he had been thinking about with Ino after they left Naruto's house the day before.
(Flashback – Yesterday)
Ino looked rather apprehensive as she walked with Shikamaru back to their respective homes in the setting sun, "I still think Naruto should have gone to the hospital when we got back to the village. I swear that he should be coughing blood, breathing hard, or something you know? It hasn't even been two days since that fight with those guys."
Shikamaru nodded before throwing his own thought in, "Could it be a kekkei genkai?"
"You mean like Sasuke-kun's Sharingan?" Ino wondered, getting a sigh out of Shikamaru for bringing up Sasuke, "Well we don't know anything about his family lineage, and neither does he now that you mention it."
"It would explain a lot about him." Shikamaru added, trying to narrow down the little mystery that had been building in his head, "The whisker-marks on his cheeks that look like clan markings, the shit-ton of chakra he has no matter what, the healing thing that he has… tons of stuff would be explained like that."
Ino racked her brain trying to think before growling as she held her head, "I don't know any clans with abilities like that in Konoha, but Naruto's been here for as long as I can remember hasn't he? Born and raised." She then blinked, "Well, not really raised, but you know what I'm saying."
'Any one of the abilities that Naruto has would be something that we would have heard of from prominent clans in the village before.' Shikamaru thought to himself as he and Ino kept walking, "It's just weird. He doesn't know anything about his family? Nothing at all? No one ever told him? He had records in the hospital of his parentage, everyone does, even orphans."
"Hasn't he ever just tried asking anyone?" Ino wondered.
"Who would he ask?" Shikamaru replied, "If no one ever really tried to take care of him then who would know enough to be able to tell him anything? Besides, he's probably heard people tell him they didn't know anything so many times he just stopped asking."
Ino could only think of not knowing anything about where she came from. She loved her family and was proud of her clan's history and the respect that they got. She couldn't possibly begin to wonder what it would be like to not even know who her parents were, let alone not having all of those other things, "That's… that's really terrible." She said honestly as she thought about how he lived in that apartment of his all alone for who knows how many years.
"There's got to be something though." Shikamaru said as he continued to think, "Why do things have to be so troublesome whenever the subject is Naruto? The guy is just one big headache… but he's our big headache I guess."
"Definitely." Ino said with a smile, "Somehow we'll find something. He came from someone somewhere, and there's an explanation for the things he can do as well. How hard could it really be to run something down?"
(End Flashback)
'And then there's the way a lot of adults in the village treat him like he isn't even there.' Shikamaru thought, 'People know something, but they're really not willing to let anything slip, especially around kids like us.' Shikamaru decided to plant the seed in some minds at the moment, especially since the super-smart girl with actual time to look something like this up was there, "You know Naruto, you have some weird abilities like all of the chakra for no reason, the ability to heal so fast, all of that stuff. There's got to be some reason for all of that." He then noticed Shiho faintly tense up out of the corner of his eye.
"Uzumaki-kun's a normal guy to me!" Shiho said, waving her hands as if to dismiss Shikamaru, "He must just have good genetics or something like that."
"That's exactly the point." Shikamaru said, pointing at his head, "I'm smart just like pretty much every other guy in my family, Chouji's big just like everyone in his. Naruto has tons of things that make no sense for him to have just developed for no reason. All of that stuff didn't just come from nowhere."
"Hey, yeah…" Chouji said, poking himself in the stomach, "It's definitely a clan thing Naruto. If you really have chakra like that then it's not just something that happens, it's a genetic thing, like someone in your family."
Naruto felt hopeful that he'd find out something for once but he then crossed his arms and squinted his eyes, "Yeah maybe, but Asuma-sensei said that I have more chakra than… well, anyone really. He didn't even name the person with the next amount of chakra in the village so that doesn't say anything. Besides, I don't know too much about the clans here, but if there was a clan with people that could do the stuff I can do in Konoha I'd have known about it." He said with a frown. Other than the Hokage, Naruto never knew where to ask about anything regarding his lineage and no one ever gave him an answer.
Shiho didn't know how relieved to feel over the part of them thinking that Naruto's abilities stemmed from a clan instead of from something else. But even the fact that they were going to be searching for some inkling of what gave him his healing abilities and massive chakra reserves was rather precarious. It was clear that Shikamaru wasn't dumb, and it wouldn't take him very long to hit a brick wall in thinking through Konoha's clans. If it took longer than ten minutes for him to drop the whole clan thing altogether she'd have been shocked, and then he would turn his attention to other ways Naruto could have had abilities like he had.
The question would eat at him and he would search for some kind of answer. A guy like that hated not knowing things and would happily try to look for the reason behind his confusion. It wouldn't be long at all, no it wouldn't, 'Oh… why do the cute ones always have to be so much trouble?' Shiho thought about Shikamaru.
Meanwhile, Naruto's brain was working in a different direction on the matter at hand, "Hey Shiho-chan, do you have a book or something on the known clans?" She reacted in surprise at being spoken to, but quickly recovered to hear the rest of what Naruto wanted to say, "Not just in Konoha though, any book of clans from anywhere in the world might help." He let off a chuckle, but anyone actually paying attention could tell that there wasn't any actual humor behind it, "I mean at this point who knows where my parents are actually from, just that they wound up here somehow."
Shiho looked at him with a sad smile, "Sure thing Uzumaki-kun. I'll see if I can check something out the next time I'm there. Leave everything to me, you just focus on getting yourself ready for the chunin exams." This was also two-fold. Even if they found Naruto's clan, if it even existed she had no idea but it was worth a look if for no other reason than to possibly give him some perspective, but even if they found Naruto's clan that would steer them away from possibly digging up the Kyuubi information somehow.
As loathe as she was to follow the law, it was still the law and breaking it would get her locked away, 'I still don't know why Hokage-sama is keeping this from him. If anyone needs to know it actually would be him. It's really not fair, it's like some kind of inside joke.'
XxX
(Hokage Tower)
Asuma poked his head inside of Hiruzen's office and looked around before resting his eyes on his elderly father, "Can we talk for a minute or are you busy dad?"
Hiruzen smiled and placed his hands on his desk, "Come on in Asuma. I always have a free moment for anyone's concerns."
Asuma nodded and walked inside, standing in front of the desk that was the clear focal point of the office, "I've got to tell him." He saw Hiruzen's eyes meet his own, "There's no reason not to by now. Even when he used it in Wave he was still in control. He never tried to attack me once, only the person he had been slated to fight."
"Then why can't you wait for just a little bit longer?" The old grizzled kage-level shinobi asked his son. He explicitly remembered telling Asuma that there would be someone along very shortly that would be able to tell Naruto and answer any questions on the matter that he would have. Someone that really wanted to meet Naruto too, "I made a promise Asuma. I haven't broken it myself by telling Naruto of his burden yet even though I probably should have when he graduated, all so that I could keep the promise I made the man that intends to tell him."
Asuma was still not a fan of keeping this from the boy, "Then why did you let me enter my team in the chunin exams? This is a really volatile situation if you're still not going to let me tell him."
Hiruzen stood up and turned to look outside of the window of his office, "Because you said that they could do it. By now it is more than clear that Naruto has never had contact with the Kyuubi, that even when he draws on the power in desperation that he is never truly under its will. And also because the man that desires to be here to reveal the Kyuubi to Naruto will be here before the teams are ever to set out for Tetsu no Kuni."
"That's not exactly a good thing dad." Asuma remarked, grabbing his temple and rubbing it, "The last thing the team needs going into the exams is him fretting over something else completely unrelated. Why is it taking so long for this guy to get back here to tell Naruto anyway, and who is it in the first place?"
Hiruzen turned again to face Asuma, "The man is perhaps the most powerful shinobi in Konoha and the reason he hasn't been able to return sooner to tell Naruto himself is because of the long-term information gathering missions he has been on."
"Name?" Asuma insisted. If this guy thought that he could just walk on in and tell his student something that by all rights he should have been able to reveal as soon as he had earned Naruto's trust then the guy had better have been a damn demi-god in this village.
"Jiraiya." Hiruzen said in response.
"Bullshit." Asuma said skeptically, "Why the hell would Jiraiya of the Sannin give a rat's ass about telling Naruto anything?"
"Who was the person that originally placed the seal on Naruto that held the Kyuubi back in the first place?" Hiruzen asked him before answering the obvious question, "The Yondaime Hokage as everyone knows, and who was the instructor of the man?"
Asuma scoffed at the moderately explanatory answer, "But he doesn't know Naruto. Naruto doesn't know him either. At the very least can I be there when he tells him if I can't be the one to do it myself? He's not going to take it well at all."
Hiruzen nodded in consent, "I never said that you couldn't be there Asuma, I just said that Jiraiya was the one that wished to tell him."
"Good." Asuma said, slightly satisfied with how things turned out before his mind snapped back into focus-mode, "No, no, no, wait a minute there's still tons of things that don't make sense. Why was it even Naruto, why does he have the Kyuubi? That's one thing I've always wanted to know. And after Jiraiya-sama tells Naruto, then what? What happens then? Is he just going to deliver the message the way he planned to after his student's death and leave me and Naruto to deal with it ourselves?"
Hiruzen shook his head, but was able to say that he was happy that Asuma was so defensive of Naruto and that he was suspicious. It meant that he actually cared for him. That was good. If Asuma was like this then the boy's own team must have felt the same way, "I can assure you that Jiraiya would do no such thing. If it would make you feel better I can inform you of the moment that I learn he's in Konoha so that you can talk with him about this."
That sounded good enough to Asuma. This way he could actually gauge Jiraiya's intentions on why he wanted to be the one to talk to Naruto about the Kyuubi, and maybe he could find out some other things as well, "Alright dad. But when do you think he'll get here?"
"Well before it's time to go." Hiruzen informed him, "Just go about as if you were preparing them like usual until Jiraiya arrives. If your team is to go to Tetsu no Kuni then they'll need to be adequately prepared for just about anything in this exam. I'm sure you know that."
Asuma nodded and began walking away, "Oh they'll be ready, just you wait and see. All I'm worried about is Ino and Naruto finding a way to whip Shikamaru into shape, but they should still manage to pull that off."
Hiruzen smiled as his son left his office, "Of course. I'm looking forward to seeing what all of the young Konoha shinobi in the exams are capable of, especially the rookies. You can drop in anytime Asuma, and take care of your team."
"I always do dad." Asuma said as he shut the door behind him.
XxX
(The Next Day – Team 10 Training Ground)
Asuma flipped through all three signed consent forms in a satisfied manner. He knew they would have accepted, for different reasons, but that was neither here nor there. The important thing was that he could now officially begin whipping their asses into full shape for the chunin exams, and with Naruto's newfound completion of leaf-splitting he could find something new to do. Not the final exercise, since that might be too much right now, and the next few weeks would be him getting final preparations all set up for his team. It wasn't the time for a lengthy training exercise.
"I'm glad to see that you're all planning on doing this thing." Asuma said honestly to his crop of genin as they all sat under the shady tree that marked the center of their training field, "Now there are a lot of people that are going to resent you, from other villages and your own as well, because you guys are going to the exams, but just remember that this exam is to show your skill, and your maturity as shinobi. Now tell me, what do you guys plan on working on until then?"
Ino raised her hand, "I planned on working on my first fatal poison to add into the mix that I have already." She sighed to herself, "It's going to suck building an immunity to it. And I'm going to work my ways of distributing my poisons too since I'm kind of bad at throwing senbon right now. I'll come up with different ways to use them."
"You'll get it." Asuma said encouragingly as he turned to Naruto, "What about you, as if I didn't know."
Naruto grinned and held his fist up, "Well I finished cutting the leaf, I did it three more times before I got here, so I was wondering if I could have something else to do with that? Other than that I've got nothing."
Asuma nodded, "I'll show you how to use your wind chakra to enhance your weapons like for what I did with the trench knives when we first talked about your element." Naruto didn't need to know the last exercise right now anyway. That was only for if he wanted to create his own jutsu involving wind. As he was now at least Asuma could teach him some wind ninjutsu when he felt Naruto was ready to learn them. As Naruto beamed at the chance of learning how to make his weapons cut through rock, Asuma turned to Shikamaru, "And you?"
Shikamaru answered in his usual uncaring manner, "I have about six different battle plans and team techniques worked out for all three of us." He saw Asuma giving him a look that was saying 'Is that it?', "And I'm working with dad to improve my skills with the clan jutsu. Ways to hit it, ways to sneak it on in tough one-on-one situations, bluffs, things I can do by myself once I have an opponent, things like that."
Asuma held up three fingers, "You have three weeks, twenty-one days, to get together what you all think you need for the exams. A few of your classmates; Team 7 and Team 8, will be there, and I'll tell you right now, once it slips that you all are rookies you're going to have every last participant gunning for you guys…" He then smirked intently, "But it's too bad for them that you guys aren't normal rookies. Hell, you guys aren't normal genin period. And whoever tried to pull anything against you will be going home sorely disappointed in their choice of target."
"Damn right." Naruto said with a grin still on his face as he sprang to his feet. And he still had three more weeks to go before he could even really begin speculating about what the chunin exams were going to be about, "I'm ready today, let's go kick some ass!"
Ino rolled her eyes and tugged on the back of Naruto's windbreaker, pulling him back to the ground, "Calm down hothead. Save it for the training."
As Naruto turned to glare at Ino who wasn't looking as if she would back down from her previous action, Shikamaru took a look at the red swirl that was emblazoned on the back of Naruto's top and his eyes widened. Why had he never paid attention to this before? Oh yeah, because he saw that damn symbol every single day. Even when they were in the Academy and Naruto wore his old bulky clothes he had it on the back, and every Konoha ninja that walked around in flak jackets had that marking on the backs of them as well. He just figured it was a Konoha thing, but still, nothing was that simple, why wouldn't it be a leaf? A swirl didn't have anything to do with the village.
"Asuma." Shikamaru said, planning on asking his question, "What's the swirl on the back of your jacket mean? Naruto has it too and I never really got what it meant."
Asuma looked at the genius boy and scratched his head, "Kid I don't know. It was one of those things that was glossed over in the Academy for one of your little history tests. I'm sure I've heard of the reason but I've never thought about it. I don't know why it's on Naruto's clothes. Shouldn't you know what the hell it means?"
Ino pointed at Naruto and Shikamaru, "You're talking to the kid that almost failed and the guy that was right behind him in that department. Come to think of it I don't think I paid much attention either." She tapped her chin as she thought about it, "It definitely means something though, I just don't remember what."
Asuma stood with his arms crossed, "Well you guys can think about it later, right now we need to get some work in to get you ready to roll when the time comes. Now you three have ten minutes to come up with a way to fight me and win." He said before using Shunshin to leave the area.
Shikamaru groaned, back to the old grind it seemed, "Naruto?" Naruto nodded and released a pulse to see if Asuma was still around. He'd never let them forget it if he caught them the way he did one time they didn't check to see he was there before planning, "Fine. Let's brainstorm guys."
As Naruto scooted closer to soundboard ideas and take in what would eventually be the final plan, Ino looked around for Asuma before addressing her teammates, "Are we going to be getting beat up a lot for the next month?"
"Probably." Both Naruto and Shikamaru said plainly, having accepted their painful fates. Ino only cried pitifully at it in denial.
XxX
(Two Days Later – Naruto's Apartment)
"Why the hell are you guys here all the time now?" Naruto asked as he poured himself a glass of milk. The bruises on his face from his day of training fading away due to his lack of current violent activity, "You guys have actual houses with actual food and beds of your own…" At this point he yelled down towards his room where Ino was resting in his bed, "…That you could be sleeping in instead!"
Shikamaru was in a chair seated at the table with his head down, "Your house is so much closer than ours. Come on Naruto, Asuma kicked the crap out of us again today." The genius boy smirked, "The best part was when you thought you had gotten a grip on him and then he knocked you down and peeled you off like gum."
"Ha ha ha." Naruto laughed humorlessly, "What about the part where he threw Ino in the path of your shadow and then kicked you in the face and knocked you out. That was priceless."
"Shut up." Shikamaru said half-heartedly.
Naruto smelled the milk in the glass to ensure it was good before shrugging and downing it, "Make me." He said as he caught a breath after drinking.
"Troublesome." Shikamaru said, letting the issue drop at that. Immediately after that, a loud series of bangs came through from Naruto's front door, "Get the door."
"Kiss my ass. You jerks don't live here so you shouldn't care." Naruto replied, lifting his glass up, "I'm thirsty. The door can wait." He said as the bangs sounded out again.
Ino's voice echoed from Naruto's room irritably, "One of you answer the damn front door! If I have to get up I'm going to-."
"You're not going to do a damn thing. I'm getting it!" Naruto shouted as he slammed his glass on the table by Shikamaru's head and stomped to the front door, swinging it open with an agitated look on his face, "Yeah?" And immediately had a book shoved into his face, "Meh?"
"Found it Uzumaki-kun!" Shiho said as she pushed the book back against Naruto's face and made her way into the apartment, shutting the door behind her with her foot, "I told you I'd get something and that you could count on me!" She shoved him back excitedly until Naruto tripped over something on the floor that he couldn't see and fell, "Whoops. Sorry about that." Shiho apologized with a blush for her rash action.
Shikamaru had no choice but to pay attention to all of the commotion, "Found what exactly?" He asked, "Also note that I'm tired, so whatever it is you came over here to tell him better be something you can communicate with just words because I'm not getting up."
"Ah right." Shiho said as Naruto sat up on his floor to see what she was there for, "I found something on Uzumaki-kun's clan. It's really quite remarkable!"
Naruto's eyes widened, "I have a clan?"
Shikamaru sat up at full attention, "He has a clan?"
"Naruto has a clan?" Ino asked from Naruto's room, still not getting up.
Shiho nodded, "Yes, apparently-. Wait, why is your team all here Uzumaki-kun?" She stopped explaining to inquire about that.
"Hell if I know." Naruto replied before getting excited, "But what about me having a clan? Let's get back to that, come on, tell me! Are they cool? Are they in the village? Where are they? Can I find one of them now?" Clan meant family. Family meant not being alone anymore. A team was great, but when everyone went home Naruto still only had himself. Ino, Shikamaru, and Asuma had their own lives and families.
Shiho sat on the floor with him and showed him the book she had brought along. On the page she had open there sat the spiral pattern that sat on the back of Naruto's clothes and on the back of the more elite ninja's flak jackets, "Right here. This is your clan crest."
Shikamaru actually found this interesting enough to get up from his chair and walk over to sit down by them to read himself. Something that put a large blush on Shiho's face as he plopped down right next to her since the book was turned her way so that she could read what she had found to Naruto, "Huh, hey Naruto this says that your clan has their own hidden village; Uzushiogakure."
"No way!" Naruto exclaimed. He couldn't believe it. Not only did he have a clan, they had their own village like Konoha. Why the fuck didn't he know this any sooner? Someone had to know something about this, it was an entire village that his clan ran, "What else?"
Shiho, happy that she was able to help Naruto find something relevant on his surname quickly, got right back to informing him on his family, "Our village and their village had a very close-knit relationship, which is why we wear the seal on the back of our flak jackets." She adjusted her glasses before reading on, "And they had a specialty that's very rare in our time as well, they were so good at it, it was something that they were feared for. Fuuinjutsu."
Shikamaru let out a whistle, "Sealing techniques? Good luck with learning that stuff."
Shiho nodded, "It's another ninja art that I didn't go over with you because it's not easy at all to get the concept of." She explained to Naruto who was looking at her with squinted eyes. By this time even Ino had made her way out from Naruto's room, standing over the others to hear what was going on, "No genin does fuuinjutsu beyond basic item sealing because it's not like nin-, tai-, or genjutsu. It requires intimate knowledge of chakra, time, space, all kinds of things."
Naruto frowned visibly, "Meh… so it's another 'I'm stupid, nevermind teaching it' thing isn't it?" The silence seemed to be his answer, "I don't care, if it's my clan specialty then shouldn't I know how to do at least a little bit of it? I want to learn it." Right after saying that, a small book was tossed to him that he deftly caught, "What's this?"
Shiho smiled, "I knew you'd say that so I checked this out for you. The person that wrote that is the leading living expert of fuuinjutsu in the village. No need to thank me."
It was a small, handwritten brown book that seemed a little worn and felt a little over 200 pages, but was still completely readable. The hastily scribbled out title said Hey, You're Not a Genius. Who Cares? Read This and You Won't Suck at Fuuinjutsu. Also quickly scrawled out was the name of the author, a man named Jiraiya. Naruto held the book up with a deadpan look on his face, "First of all, this title sucks so hard. Second of all, it looks like I could have written this myself. Are you serious with this Shiho-chan?"
"One-hundred percent." Shiho asserted resolutely with a firm nod, "I couldn't go through it myself, but the person that wrote it is the real deal. There's no one better in Konoha to learn fuuinjutsu from, this is definitely what you want. The art is a lot of theory, but with your imagination I'm sure you can work it out. Fuuinjutsu is a lot of mental understanding. Mind stuff."
Naruto blinked at her blankly, "My mind is scary."
"Then you should love this stuff." Shiho replied with a smirk. She reached over and tapped the book, "Don't let the little bit of ragged parts put you down on reading it. It's just a little rough around the edges, but read it cover to cover. I'm sure there's lots of good stuff inside of it. Kind of like you, yeah?"
Even though it was just a book, Naruto really couldn't literally judge it by its cover. People did that to him all the time, and if Shiho said that it would help then damn it he'd give it his best shot to make it work for him. As he thought about how he would use the book he found Ino had thrown herself over his back as she gently took the book from his hands to look at it herself, "So this rinky-dink book is going to help Naruto learn fuuinjutsu? Why would a book like that be in the library anyway?"
Shiho shrugged, "It isn't a clan secret book as the author is just a shinobi without a clan. He committed it to the library, it's public domain. He's just an unselfish shinobi that put his knowledge to paper and it wound up in our archives." It had taken almost six months but damned if there wasn't something in there that Naruto hadn't picked up in addition to his Nebaiken scroll. Having friends everywhere certainly paid off.
"It doesn't matter what the thing looks like Ino." Naruto commented as he took it back from her, getting a whine of disappointment from her, "If this thing can help me then I don't care."
Ino nodded in agreement, "True, but is there anymore about your clan? Wouldn't more people know your name if they were that powerful to be feared for sealing?"
Shikamaru had by now taken the book and had scanned through it, only to frown as he kept going forward, "This book is very old you guys. Like, Nidaime Hokage old." He said as he skimmed through the year it was published.
Shiho scratched her cheek, "Well there wasn't anything in any more current issues of clans of notability in the shinobi world. This is a backlog."
None of this was making what he was about to say any easier to Shikamaru, "Did the other later volumes have the clans in this book in it?"
Shiho nodded, "Yes, but the last most recent one didn't have the Uchiha Clan in it." Shikamaru sighed, "What's the matter?"
Shikamaru rubbed the bridge of his nose, "I was afraid of that…" He looked over at Naruto apologetically, "This book is called 'The Quintessential Shinobi Almanac volume II'. These books keep up with clans that are current factors in the current world at the time the books are written. The books only got bigger as time went on didn't they?" He asked Shiho, getting another sad nod from her as she understood what he was implying, "Clans don't fall out of prestige and they wouldn't have been excluded from the book unless-."
"-Unless they don't exist anymore…" Naruto finished for him with a sad look on his face as he pulled his legs towards his chest, "Damn it…" If the books only got bigger then it was like an almanac that compounded information, only taking out irrelevant things that would have fallen out of use. Sasuke's clan wasn't in the most recent volume, his own clan stopped being in the books a long time ago.
In an attempt to console him, Ino wrapped her arms around his shoulders from behind in a hug, "I'm sorry Naruto. You were so close…" It was terrible that such a nice guy like Naruto kept getting such shoddy breaks in his life. It explained at least why it wasn't taught in the Academy. It wasn't relevant, and it wasn't close enough to home to be labeled as history that they needed to know along with everything else they were learning. At least they knew now.
Naruto's whiskered face kept the dejection on it as his eyes stayed locked on the crest affixed to the almanac page. They slowly drifted towards the handwritten book in his hand and his blue eyes shone over in determination, "This is actually something good though. I have a clan." He said with a short laugh, "A real honest-to-goodness clan. Like your clan Ino, or your clan Shikamaru. Even like Sasuke-teme's. All I have to do is bring it back. Easy." He said with a careless shrug as a smile affixed itself to his face, "I was going to be Hokage anyway, and what's a better way to make people know how kickass you and your bloodline are than by pulling that off?"
Ino found his attitude to be infectious, as if the mood in the room just swung back positively, "With all of your weirdo abilities like the healing and your chakra stores to go with the fuuinjutsu if you can learn that stuff, why wouldn't they?"
Shiho laughed nervously at the mention of Naruto's pre-existing abilities once she saw Shikamaru narrow his eyes and read over the part about the Uzumaki Clan again. Shikamaru's brow furrowed once he skimmed through it again, 'Wait. None of the things that Naruto can do were glossed over in here except for the strong life-force part that kind of explains some things, but not the healing. And they don't have his cheek-markings either. They don't have any markings. We're still all missing something here.' He thought to himself.
Shiho took her advantage and shut the book as she got up off of the floor and dusted her dress of, "Well I have to go Uzumaki-kun, Shikamaru-kun, Yamanaka-san." She said abruptly, "I hope the book helped at least a little bit, and I hope the fuuinjutsu text works out for you too. Bye." She called out as she made her way to the door and slipped out, leaving the three teammates sitting on Naruto's apartment floor.
Shikamaru watched her leave with a watchful eye, 'That was weird, and really suspicious… She reacted to us talking about Naruto's abilities, does she know something? Why does this all have to be so troublesome?' He thought as he stood up off of the floor and cracked his neck, "Well I guess I'll see you tomorrow Naruto. I have to go home before my mom raises a fuss about where I've been."
Ino got up as well, planning to leave with Shikamaru and head home, "I have to go too Naruto. Are you going to be okay by yourself?" She asked in a concerned voice to her fellow blonde. Hopefully none of this brought him down.
"I'll be fine Ino." Naruto said as he stared at the book still in his hands, "I'll see you guys tomorrow for sure." He couldn't tell what it was, but just looking at the book made him want to read it. Maybe it was the smartass title calling out to him, who knew? He looked up with a grin on his face, "I'm going to get started with this. If my clan were masters of fuuinjutsu then I will be too. It's a tradition, dattebayo." As his teammates left him alone in his home, Naruto flipped the book cover open, "I'll make everybody proud. My clan, Iruka-sensei, Hokage-jiji, Asuma-sensei, Shiho-chan, Shikamaru, Ino… all of you."
Hey You're Not a Genius. Who Cares? Read This and You Won't Suck at Fuuinjutsu (by Jiraiya)
Acknowledgements and a foreword
To Sarutobi-sensei for teaching me how to be a man… and for not outing me for my, shall we say, healthy interest in the fairer sex. (You know what I'm talking about guys that know what I'm talking about. Yeah!)
To my lovely female teammate who shall remain unnamed in the case of this book getting the reader killed due to my teachings. You didn't tear my sackie off that time I peeped on you and you caught me. Thanks for that.
To Namikaze Minato for believing in me, respecting the things that I say, and for not telling me that my first book sucked. Thanks kid, you're an all-around good man and a hell of a student. If I ever find one half as good on all fronts as you I'll take him in a heartbeat.
To the letter q for being exotic.
To Sanshouuo no Hanzou for not ending me and my teammates' miserable lives all those years ago on that wretched battlefield near Amegakure. Thanks for that. Without you not killing me this book would never have come into existence.
To broccoli for smelling like farts before you eat it and for being difficult to spell.
To Konohagakure no Sato for recognizing how badass I am, and respecting my sexy sage talents. Also for having hot-springs that are agonizingly easy to peek on, and for having the sexiest women on earth thoroughly populating your shinobi forces to go along with them. (I swear to Kami, it has to be a prerequisite to enter the Academy. They've got to have genealogists screening the little girls to find out which ones will become smoking hot bombshells when they grow up and the ones that do are let right in the door. Nothing less than eights all across the board. No joke.)
Okay, if my actual first foray into the wonderful world of literature is anything to go by then this book will suck in a storytelling sense, which is good because I'm not telling a fucking story, I'm here to fill your obviously empty head with all kinds of smart things. It doesn't matter how I write so long as you understand what I'm writing so I don't have to write like a proper author. By virtue of that, shut your lips and get ready to learn lads and lasses (Who am I kidding? If a girl was actually reading this, she probably dropped this book at the acknowledgements). Pop those bifocals on your faces you blind little brats, it's learning time.
Now if you were to ask anyone that knows better they would tell you that I'm a grade-A bad motherfucking shinobi… although you couldn't since most of those people are dead. If you asked me personally for my honest opinion on myself, I'm nothing special. No natural advantages or presets towards battle, no genius anything. Just a hard-working guy that took advantage of the things provided to him. And this book was written for guys like me. Guys with guts. If you're a little punkass that can't see anything through to the end then you've wasted your time picking this up, go do something easy.
Despite saying all of that, the one thing I know I'm good at, damn good at, is fuuinjutsu. Say what you will about me if you've met me, when I say something about sealing you had better shut the hell up and listen. This is more than scribbling on something and making a hand-seal or two. You will have this ingrained in your head by the time you get through this manual. You will be seeing sealing arrays in your head 24/7, and you will have nightmares about fucking up and mutating yourself with potential backlash. You will make so many brush strokes in practice that you will swear you're giving yourself arthritis by doing this. You'll see things that no one else sees in everyday things because you know the potential each thing will have for sealing. Your head will be filled with the most asinine pipedreams of what you can do with seals and you'll spend years dicking around with a design as a hobby or side project just to toss it when you get bored and find something cooler to work on with seals. Everyone that masters seals does, so you will too.
In this book you will learn all of these things, and in addition to that the life lessons that can only be taught by a man with decades of experience in the field as a seasoned, battle-hardened shinobi. This book will make you a man… even if you're a girl.
You scared yet?
If you're still reading and taking this seriously then you're crazy. The good kind of crazy. The kind of crazy that might be able to finish the things I've got set for you in this book. In other words you're my kind of crazy.
If you can pass the quiz on the coming pages then feel free to partake in the wisdom that lays within the annals of my epic tome. That is, if you pass. This test will be the most widely covering test you'll ever take with questions you won't expect, and questions that you think you won't be able to answer. But it must be done. If you fail then you will be locked out of this book due to a seal I set that will tally your score from your pencil strokes and will take your blood upon completion.
You cannot skip the test as the pages after will be blank until the test is completed. You have one shot so don't fuck it up. If you pass I'll be glad to call you my student by proxy.
Good luck.