Harry didn't bother sitting down at the Gryffindor table. He didn't gawk at the floating jack-o-lanterns and bats. He didn't listen to the loud, excited conversations at the four tables. He just marched right up to Dumbledore with Neville beside him and twins behind him, standing like bodyguards.
Dumbledore looked up as he approached, and a mixture of apprehension and anger appeared on his face.
"Headmaster," he said over the noise, "I'd like to say something to the Hall."
A fake grandfatherly look appeared on his face. "I'm sure it can wait until after-"
"Nearly-Headless Nick has invited Fred, George, Neville and I to his deathday party," Harry interrupted smoothly, "and if we wait until after the feast, we'll miss it. I want to do this now."
The headmaster pursed his lips for a moment, then said, "Very well." He stood, causing the Hall to fall mostly silent. "Harry Potter would like to speak to you all," he announced.
Harry rolled his eyes as he turned. 'Say something' and 'speak to' was not the same thing.
"As Lord and Heir of Gryffindor," he said loudly, "I demand that Fred and George Weasley, Neville Longbottom and I be re-sorted."
There was a rumble from the building, and then the Sorting Hat and its stool suddenly appeared in front of the teachers' table. Dumbledore was already scowling.
Whispers and shouts echoed from the students and Harry turned to McGonagall and raised an eyebrow. She was looking stunned.
"Professor McGonagall," he prompted when she didn't move.
She shook herself and stood as a scroll appeared in front of her. "Longbottom, Neville," she said loudly, silencing the whispers.
Neville bit his lip, and Harry cast him an encouraging look. Relaxing, the boy walked over to the Sorting Hat, sat down, and put it on.
There was a long pause, and then the Hat shouted, "Hufflepuff!"
The Hufflepuff table cheered eagerly as Neville put down the Hat and rushed over to their table.
"Potter, Harry." And the Hall went silent again.
Harry stalked over to the Hat, his head held high, making sure to walk like a pureblood. He heard whispers as he sat down and put on the Hat.
"Well, hello again, Harry," said the Hat. "Ready to go to your true House?"
"Definitely, Alistair," Harry replied out loud with a smirk.
"No one's called me by my name since Merlin's time," Alistair said in a happy but shaky voice. "Well, except dear Luna..."
"Lovegood?"
"Yes, her. She'll be very helpful to your plans," Alistair added. "And she'll be a very good friend."
"I'll think about it," Harry mused.
"Good. SLYTHERIN!" the Hat bellowed.
Harry got up to the loudest silence he'd ever heard. Then the Slytherins began yelling, most in glee, but some in anger.
He smiled maliciously at the Hall before stalking over to the Slytherin table and sitting beside Draco, who grinned at him.
"Weasley, Fred," McGonagall said in a faint voice that was barely heard over the Slytherin's shouts.
Fred squared his shoulders and walked over to the Hat.
"Why are you Sorting him again?" Ron Weasley demanded loudly. "He's a Weasley! We all get sorted into-"
"SLYTHERIN!" the Hat shouted, interrupting Ron Weasley's rant.
"WHAT!" Ginevra, Ronald, and Percy shouted at the same time, over the cheers and cackles from Slytherin House.
"You are no longer a Weasley!" Percy bellowed at Fred, who sneered, putting the Hat gently back onto the stool.
"Mr. Weasley!" McGonagall said furiously. "Fifty points from Gryffindor! He is your brother, regardless of what House he is in!"
"We weren't supposed to be Gryffindors, Perfect Percy," Fred said coldly. "Georgey and I only went to Gryffindor because we didn't have anyone else. Now that we have Harry, we can be our true selves."
"Weasley, George," McGonagall growled, making Percy sit down again.
George walked over to the Hat and put it on.
"SLYTHERIN!" the Hat bellowed after two seconds. George put down the Sorting Hat, which disappeared along with its stool. The twins joined the Slytherin table, which was looking delighted they'd snagged the Demon Twins.
"You may return to the feast," Dumbledore said tightly, looking as if he was eating a particularly sour lemon drop. Harry, Draco, and the twins smirked at each other.
"So you guys are true snakes?" Blaise Zabini asked with a snicker.
"Definitely," said Fred.
"Snape looks ecstatic," George snickered, pointing at the staff table. Snape looked both horrified and delighted.
"Well, he's probably annoyed that the Demon twins are in his House," Draco pointed out, grinning at the twins, "but delighted that Harry's a snake, too. He's gotten closer to Harry since this morning. What happened, anyway?"
"Later," Harry told him.
------------------
"My dear friends," Sir Nicolas said grimly, ignoring Neville's shivering and the twins' mock solemn look, "so pleased you could come...." And he swept off his head and hat, bowing.
"Thank you for the invitation," Harry replied politely, nodding. He, Neville, Fred, and George walked past the ghost into the dungeon.
There was an orchestra that was only playing the musical saw; a ballroom floor, where several ghosts were waltzing; a chandelier with midnight-blue candles; and a table full of rotten food.
Harry was about to suggest they go speak to the Bloody Baron when they heard a familiar voice.
"Careful not to walk through anyone."
"What's Ronald doing here?" Neville asked, appalled.
"And Granger," Harry sneered. The two idiots had been trying to become his friends again, but he hadn't seen them since the re-sorting.
"Oh, no," said Granger suddenly, looking alarmed, "Turn back, turn back, I don't want to talk to Moaning Myrtle-"
"How rude," Harry snorted as the two second-years retreated closer to the food table, while Weasley demanded to know who Myrtle was.
"Look, food!"
"Idiots, ghosts wouldn't provide food, they can't eat it," Neville said with a sigh of irritation.
Peeves, Harry thought, using his Lord of Hogwarts status, annoy them, would you? I want them to leave.
Instantly, Peeves, who was antagonizing the ghost of an old woman, shot over to the two Gryffindors, cackling. The twins smirked.
A few moments later, the orchestra stopped abruptly, and a hunting horn sounded. Harry smiled darkly, and Neville chuckled softly.
A dozen ghost horses suddenly burst into the room, ridden by twelve ghosts, each wearing bandit clothes one would see in a Robin Hood play. They galloped into the middle of the dance floor and the leader plucked his head off, raising it above the crowd to see better. The crowd laughed.
"Nick!" the head grinned. "How are you! Finally lost your head, I see!"
The crowd laughed. Harry saw the Baron rolling his eyes.
"How did you do that, by that way?" the ghost asked, putting his head back on his shoulders and walking over.
"A student asked the Baron to cut my head off with his axe," Nick said excitedly. "Welcome, Patrick."
"Live 'uns!" Sir Patrick exclaimed when he saw Harry, Neville, Fred, and George, giving a huge fake jump, so his head fell off. The crowd laughed again, and the twins exchanged grins.
Nick chuckled. "Very amusing. The two over there-" he gestured to Granger and Weasley, who were glaring at Peeves "-are Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, and these four-" he nodded to Harry and his friends, "-are Fred and George Weasley, Neville Longbottom, and Harry Potter."
Sir Patrick's head blinked, gaping. Then he shook himself. "Pleasure to meet you," he said reverently to Harry, Neville, and the twins. "Haven't met live 'uns... almost never!"
"It's a pleasure to meet you as well, Sir Delaney-Podmore," Harry said politely. "Sir Nick, it's getting a bit late for the 'live ones', do you mind terribly if we leave early?"
"Oh no, Lord Gryffindor!" Nick exclaimed quickly. "Of course, I'm sorry, I should have realized it was getting late, did you have a good time?"
"Oh yes," Harry smirked. "Peeves, come."
The poltergeist instantly swooped over from where he was tormenting Moaning Myrtle and swept off his hat in a salute. "Yes my lord!" he said eagerly. Granger and Weasley stared at them.
"Thank you ever so much for inviting us to your deathday party, Sir Nick," Harry said smoothly. "Farewell, Nick, Sir Delaney-Podmore." He led his four friends out of the dungeon.
When they were gone, the twins cackled. "If we become ghosts-" Fred began.
"-we're going to be as funny as Podmore," George grinned.
"You two are more likely to become poltergeists," Neville chuckled. Peeves cackled in agreement.
Harry stopped and held up a hand for silence, frowning.
Rip... tear... kill...
"It's that voice again!" Harry hissed, and the other four exchanged alarmed looks.
...soo hungry... for so long...
"It's going up," Harry whispered. He paused. "Peeves, go up the stairs, I want to know what's going on."
"What are the rest of us going to do, my lord?" Fred asked as the poltergeist zoomed up the stairs.
"Wait," Harry responded. "Peeves will tell us what happened in the morning. We'll escort you to the Hufflepuff entrance, Nev." He didn't want any of his friends to be alone with a monster on the loose....
When he and the twins got back to the Slytherin common room, it was in a commotion. They were a mixture of excited, stunned, and confused.
Harry gave a sharp, piercing whistle, and everyone silenced. "What's going on?" he asked.
Draco hurried up to him. "Your room appeared," he replied, causing most of the Slytherins to gasp and some to look incredulous.
"My what?" Harry frowned. "Aren't I rooming with the other second-years?"
The twins snorted. "Harry, like the Lord of Hogwarts-" Fred began.
"Is unworthy enough to-" George continued.
"-room with the mere rabble," Fred said dramatically.
The Slytherins snickered quietly.
"The Lord and Heir of Hogwarts always has a special room, separate from the other students," Draco informed Harry.
"Why wasn't I given a room last... Dumbledore," Harry growled.
"What are you all talking about?" Blaise demanded. "Potter is the Lord and Heir of Hogwarts? How?"
"As I said, it is a long story, Blaise," Harry said coolly. "I'm exhausted, and I will explain tomorrow. Goodnight, Draco, my Demon twins." He stalked up the stairs, ignoring the stares.