The drive to the frontier city was relatively calm, minus the bathroom breaks. Those were bloody. Very bloody. Cupcake is a violent pup if woken up by anyone not me or Fenris, the older kids learned that. Mostly our Tiger cub. She didn't have a good first introduction, she abruptly picked my shadow up after some cleaning annnnd her ear got a chunk bit off.
Raising kids seems more rough than fisting a Void Boss up the ass with fire. Void Shark no like ass fire.
While driving though I did put on a song from an Ice Age movie. "We Are Family" by Keke Palmer, good song, Boss approved. As we approached the clearing near Balmel I stopped the vehicle and got out as a hyper Fenris took my place. Fenrir sitting on the roof as a thirty year old gray haired werewolf eating an apple. He figured out the vampire car gives apples. Staring at him I grab Cupcake from my head and promptly throw her at him.
"Werewolf Puppy attack!"
Fenrir flipped the fuck out as a my pup latched onto his face, poking an eye out with a paw bap. Fenrir growled at me as when he tried at the pup, a very deep growl came from inside the humvee. Smirking at him I watched the old Boss grab her by the scruff and start scolding her like a grouchy old man. He is lore wise sixty thousand years old, and grouchy towards me. Thus a grouchy old man.
"Listen here you little welp you aren't going to start fucking with me. Like your HORRIBLE BASTARD of a father. I'm already contemplating suicide by one jackass I don't need you starting shit."
The pup in response bites his nose and pees on him wagging her tail. Fenrir looks at her as if he's just found a new mortal enemy to curse. The Boss looks at me and snarls out a lot of profanity and insults. Yet he puts his new enemy on his head. Fucking old men.
"I honestly don't get how a fucking bastard of damn monster that's a threat to all life around him, has anything like hell spawn. YOU seemed more like the kind to just fucking nuke a continent for the giggles before THIS. Did you drug those poor girls? Do they even KNOW the shit you've done? HOW IS ONE EVEN FINE WITH LOVING YOU? I REMEMBER YOU FUCKING FIST FIGHTING HER IN PURGATORY BEFORE IMPALING HER UP THE ASS WITH A SPEAR GUN. Are you cheating with your bullshit god powers again? Because no one should be okay with the shit you do or have done to them. Because seriously, FIFTY FUCKING SPEARS UP THE ASS YET SHE GAVE YOU HELLSPAWNS."
"I have nuked a continent, remember? I enjoyed it, so many Player's tried to get me fired. Yet I nuked them again and made them pay to get rid of permanent curses. I haven't drugged anyone, besides when I fight to the death with Fenris. Honestly having kids was the thing with a zero point zero one percent of ever happening, I hate kids they get annoying. As for Fenris's weird affection? I think our death matches, stalking me, and hanging out in this world caused it. Suna is just a sweetheart, but still surprised she also got dragged into this."
".... I forgot you just decided because Player's were abusing your Red Panda Dragon's. That you, an Old God, just became an eco terrorist out of revenge with nukes. So many Player's waiting to respawn that day complained about it in Purgatory after dying. That I out of literal pity against programming gave them old fangs of mine."
"That's why those fuckers had mythical crafting materials…. Oh well I robbed the PK's for their shit after one tried killing me, and hacking the servers to fuck me over. That poor poor defenseless Player still to this day has mysteriously vanished in real life with not a word.... I wonder what happened to them."
"You hunted them down and disposed of everything related to them dying…. How were you not caught for killing that Player?!"
"Me murder a defenseless Player? Hunting them down in a city? Why I'd never waste my military skills on someone who tried fucking with me. Plus there's no proof or anything, and this is Earth exactly anymore so you can't try finding anything."
"..."
"Yes?"
"..... You're the worst thing to ever become a father…."
"Don't know what you mean, I'm but an innocent Game Developer. I didn't commit crimes against my enemies, coworkers, Player's, Monster's, or NPC's not in a million years."
"How can you lie so calmly and casually to my face you damn monster…."
Cackling softly I looked at Fenrir extremely amused by his question. Lying isn't really a problem for me. I can say the sky is purple, and someone is very likely to believe me, before dying. Eventually we came to a rolling stop in front of Balmel with some very confused guards looking at us. Waving at them I give them a great introduction.
"Yo I'm Kaiser Lockhart, if you don't want bit or anything don't enter the humvee. The pups don't like intruders. Also I'm an adventurer, rank whatever the guild has promoted me to by now. Can we come in? I wanna study the floods because I have nothing better to do."
"... I feel like you just threatened us."
"Nah, just a warning. If I wanted to threaten someone you'd know it, because I wouldn't hide it."
Looking at the map I slightly cackled as some Player's were converging on us. The first to show was a High Beast cat, a literal cat person walking on two legs with clothes on. His facial fur was mostly white with black ears however he had a gray like furred crack on his face. He landed on the city walls, his short feline stature looking down at me. He honestly looked like a deformed cartoonish mascot that escaped an amusement park. The name above him was a nostalgic name but I mostly just called him Catssin.
He, after all, has some remarkable skills for dirty work.
After a minute of just looking at me the cat seems to have rebooted as he screamed. His yowling scream caused the guards to flinch while I juggled nuke randomly.
"KAISER-NYAA?! HOW ARE YOU HERE?! YOU WOULD NEVER DIE NYAA!"
"Yo, eco terrorist of the century, most hated dev, mass murderous gunslinger, world boss, and now other things coming to to you live with an announcement. I'M FUCKING HERE IN THE FLESH FROM EARTH FEAR YOUR GOD."
"Kaiser-nyaa as your insane as ever. Hm? Why do I smell more of…. You?"
"I have made hellspawns with my Void Boss of a stalker. So yeah, I've created Void High Werewolves."
"Oh okay…. Wait…. You?.... Kaiser-nyaa be honest that's not funny."
Grabbing Cupcake with some void tendrils I held her up like a Simba to the High Beast.
"I present a hellspawn, Fenris called her Cupcake."
".... ? …. ?! …. ? …. NYYYYAAAA?!"
The High Beast proceeded to fall off the wall ready to pass out so I caught him. Putting him down by mevand Fenrir, I proceeded to rub the pup into his face. His eyes crossing as he stared at the pretty confused pup who sticks her tongue out.
"Nya the world is ending as we know it. Cute though."
[???? POV]
"Shadow are you sure what was said is true? I just can't imagine that specific Game Developer being… anything but murderous."
Looking at my High Elf wife Holy her white hair fluttering as we ran, those beautiful transparent blue eyes shining confusion. Chuckling a little I honestly couldn't blame her as even I find doubt Hibineko a bit from what he said. But…. The picture of said man shoving a pup in his face is hard to not trust. I am also inclined to believe this is secretly a sick joke by a Demon Duke. However, it's not I can just tell….
Landing on the city gate with my wife I sighed seeing Hibineko sitting next to the High Human, and Purgatory Boss in his Werewolf form. A pup being held and examined by the confused and skeptical looking High Beast. Inside the car are multiple Black Hounds, Werewolves, and a Beast Tiger child seemingly amused by what they hear. The most notable tag from Analyze is [Fenris - Level 999, VOID BOSS] along with [Kaiser Lockhart - Level ????, VOID BOSS, GAME DEVELOPER] among them all.
The bastard of a dev is acting as if we aren't here yet but knowing him, HE KNOWS yet he's fucking with us. Looking at my wife I bite the bullet and greet him.
"Long time no see Kaiser-san."
"Yo, I'm alive still. But if the dead are here I'm probably in Zombie Land, because you died Shadow."
Yeah that's him alright. Shaking my head I looked at him and sighed already exhausted to deal with him, but excited to talk with him again. Holy is smirking slightly as she tries frowning at him, he did nuke her once by accident. Yet seeing the ever unchanging man before us while exhausting is a relief to see an old…. Friend. Sighing we jumped off the walls and landed next to the trio, the vehicle not even jostling.
Upon landing Hibineko held the pup towards us with an exhausted scowl. His voice tired from dealing with Kaiser likely.
"Please tell me I'm seeing things…."
Giving the pup a look I tiredly palm my face at the bullshit I see. My wife doing the same because technically this pup is a monster so we can see its information in detail.
[Name Cupcake, Race: CRITICAL (High Human/ Void Barghest), Age: 12 days old
Class?: Father's Shadow?
Sub Class?: Pestilence
Level: 32
Stats: HP - 54,000, MP - 600,000, STR - 165, VIT - 265, DEX - 286, AGI - 321, INT - 100, LUC - 16
Racial Skill(s): High Human Adaptability, Magic Resistance, Plague Mist, Void Blessing, High Beast Instincts
Skill(s): Blood Bind, Plagued Bite, Hunter's Mark, Void Travel, Void Bullet, Puppy Eyes, Plague Bombing, Marksman, Werewolf Shift, Boss Shift, Plague Nuke, Multitask, Shadow Lurk, Guardian, Undying Pack, Pain Nullification, Plague Claws, Bomb Claws, Plague Bullet, Mass Murder
Curse(s): Cognitive Delay, Partial Blindness, Muscle Weakness of 35%.
Blessing(s): Void Blessed, Origin's Protection, Developer's Favor, Elemental Proginerator's Blessing]
"Her name is Cupcake? That's…. Cute for a kid of yours…."
Hearing my wife I must agree with her there, its kinda cute for a kid of his. However, I'm curious why she has those classes, the system even is confused on one. Being an assassin I have to know what I'm potentially dealing with. So I focused on these questioned classes.
[Father's Shadow: This class is tied to entities Kaiser Lockhart and Cupcake. Due to circumstances the bearer of this class has their life tied to the target. Will always be able to find, travel to, and talk with the target.
Pestilence: This class is inherited from Void Barghest Fenris. All plague attacks cause almost certain death if targeted, disease does not effect this creature, can cure 99% of all diseases but not permanent ones.]
…. I'm admittedly jealous of the first one, I'd want my daughter to have that one. The second one is scary beyond belief that I want to end this pup now, but the blood lust below me scares me. If I attacked her everything around us would die. Plus she's innocent just…. Not her parents…. Definitely not her father. A shiver ran up my spine as I briefly saw a Tombstone the words VOID BOSS appeared briefly. Are… are the other Void's guarding these kids as well?
"Fuck… Your group is a death march…."
My words make the Purgatory boss sigh with a groan.
"So you saw one threatening you for a thought you had, didn't you?"
"Tombstone…."
"Lucky you High Lord…. I got threatened by them all."
"Nyaa I've so far not been threatened."
"""That's because you seem to actually like the hellspawns."""
Hearing myself, my wife, and Fenrir Hibineko blinks and holds up the pup he's been holding.
"Their adorable though even if Kaiser-nyaa is involved."
"This is why he's been fine, he takes it out on me and not the first Void Children or Fenris. The Void Bosses are pretty tight nit, though highly amused by Fenris."
"Their amused?"
"Stalker finally gets boned, gets her wish, and now has kids with her target of demented weird love. That she's threatened the Void Boss on par with all Sins at once. Its highly amusing to them plus, they've lived a LONG time so they're basically like old people to the young."
That's…. Then again it's him who designed them so it was likely always a possibility to happen. I've seen the Void Bosses do many things to many Player's, put of them all Fenris is the only one that hadn't done anything. But stalk Kaiser-san for executing her, even with another Genocide Marked nearby she stalked him. It's honestly confusing how that happened as I asked him during the death game once. His answer was casual yet amused about it all.
"Its a glitch of code added by the Void Barghest herself, I could fix it but I don't want to. She's my greatest constant company, even if she's out for my blood."
I knew he was not liked by most of the Player's but he could've created a Support Character for company. Yet the crazy dev found amusement in a Boss monster being his unofficial Support Character. It was surprising and confusing at the time but seeing everything now. I am in a way glad. Glad for for an old friend having changed slightly because of a constant figure in his life. He may largely be unchanged by how he still is, but I can see the small change having a permanent mission has on the old soldier.
I can only hope he doesn't snap. No one's ready for an End World Boss with a developer console to reappear.
While deep in thought something bit my nose causing me to look at the cause of the small prick on it. The pup is being shoved into my face by my wife. Who has put a pink bow on the pup for some reason. Looking at my wife I silently ask why with my eyes. The unsaid response back was something expected.
'She's cute like how our daughter used to act!'
Shaking my head I noticed we had driven into Balmel at some point. Kaiser being Kaiser makes an announcement in the OLD FORGOTTEN Area Chat. He even got a response from his cult….
==========
Wide Area Local Chat:
KaiserLockhart (Developer): God has arrived in Balmel, fear me or get shot.
ColonelMustard: Watchman Mustard fears you! After all you fucking shoved lava down my throat once…. Admittedly it was a painfully interesting death since it gave me a buff and debuff.
KaiserLockhart (Developer): That's not fear thats fucked up worship by causing you Fear PTSD. I approve.
ColonelMustard: Thanks? So uh… no lava please? Or liquid nitrogen, or severed dicks….. please none of those? Shoved down my throat.
=========
That just reminds me of how he killed me once…. Because my name is Shadow he used a Shadow Juggernaut to kill me. Stupid midget monster that WOULDN'T DIE BECAUSE HE MADE IT TO TROLL. Seriously?! Who creates a foot tall heavily armored, instant regeneration, murderous, AOE, hunting till your death monster that for one attempt tries face fucking you?! Holy at the time died laughing before dying abruptly because it farted an AOE nuke type skill.
Fucking Kaiser…