tried making some jokes, I failed horribly yet I must share them, its only right
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Waking up shortly after lunch with the pack my body reacted faster than my mind. Armored hand grabbing an appendage before a skill is subconsciously invoked. The sparks of purifying light burn away the flesh of a Demon with it struggling in my grasp. Looking towards the Demon I give a Cheshire smile my eyes gleaming with intent. The Demon, a Knight, struggling for its life more fiercely now with dread creeping into its body.
"Hi, I'm hungry for some screams and you wanted to eat something I'll execute a God over. So lets see if you taste good~ sounds fun right little Knight?"
The Demon cut its tail off and attempted to flee with a skill but I won't allow that. Remembering the most dangerous skill my combat class has, a skill which seals the skills monsters and monsters are oh-so dependent on. Afterall its frieghtening if you suddenly no longer get how to use them when your dependent. Whispering it playfully I enjoy the Demons twitch of fear, my lips curling up in amusement flashing my teeth.
"『 Forget』"
With a thud onto the groywith its skill being cancelled out it tried running on its useless legs. Chuckling amusedly I decided to follow the Demon humming a tauntingly jaunty tune much its to displeasure. My rather casual attire shifting to the very core appearance of my class. Seemingly tattered but intact Special Forces armor with an American flag, and a muted speaker patch covered my body. A fanged lower skull mask made from the jaws of a Extinction class monster covering my face. Parting my lips the masked moved a crimson hue with the stench of blood seeping out as it opened.
[Mask of Extinction (High-Divine)
Class: Lower Face Mask
Materials: Jaws of Apex End Predator, Chimeradite, Cursed Blood, Blood Lust, Heart of a God
Description: One piece of the Special Forces Extinction Soldier set.
Effect(s):
Dead Whispers - Speak and your words of demise become reality.
Dead Fangs - Just a nibble, just a taste, it'll all be over.
Curse of Extinction - Prolonged exposure will trigger the event "Watcher of the End"]
[1/6000 Souls fed to extinction]
The counter of souls ticked up slowly but speaking caused a spike. Did I care? No I wanted to have some sadistic fun with the Demon.
"Come let me sample your flesh, like you wanted to try to what isn't yours."
Try as it might the Demon's body at this time no longer obeyed it. Casualty was in effect. Stiffly the Demon walked to me, stretching out an arm as its muscles bulged and tensed trying to resist. Looking its eyes I see the dread, my smile growing wider with the mask seeping a fog of thick blood drenched mist. Intoxicating blood mist hits the Demon's face freeing it all to late. Snapping my head forward my jaws enclosed around its juglar.
Blood absolutely coated in miasma splatters and sprays everything around us. My head jerking back taking a chunk of its neck between the teeth of my mask. With its life fading from its eyes the Demon SEE'S something hidden in the crimson hue between the jaws. Chuckling I gulped the flesh even though really I just fed my cursed mask. Body hitting the ground turning into flaming miasma I sucked a breath in. The fire and remains of the Demon being sucked into the mask, the mask growling in pleasure. Taking it off I pulled up the face mask attached to my armor.
The funny thing is this armor is modeled exactly after my armor from Earth. Since it has a history with me, I gave this cursed but meaningful armor some special things. But checking its equipment window I feel both sick yet thankful…. Because this is one armor that will always serve me well.
[Dead Man Walking (N/A)
Materials: N/A
Description: This Special Forces armor has seen many things, bathed in blood of friends and foes. Yet it has traveled a long ways along with its owner Colonel Lockhart, Call Sign Chimera, from war. This armor is not able to be made or taken, once forged a new in a game its become the original. A soldier is nothing without their armor. Onto the breach once more Colonel Lockhart.
Effect(s):
ONTO THE BREACH - You can not be pushed back by the tide, the Breach must be sealed. 999% Mental Resistance to Psychosis, Sociopathy, PTSD, and Depression.
Soldier's Will - 679% Defense against all opposition.
Soldier's Intent - One shot one kill, threats that can destroy Kaiser Lockhart trigger one hit kill effect on all attacks until the threat is dead.
Soldier's Vow - Protect and cherish your new chance Colonel. Able to instaneously appear before desired target to prevent their death.
Silence - Special Forces leave no trace, cause no sound, all stealth skills are now always passively active unless someone means no harm.
Soul Trap - Your soul is forever bound to your flesh, it can not be destroyed neither can your body.
War Partner - This armor though battered and ravaged by war will adapt and improve its self to protect and serve its partner of another world. This armor can never be destroyed.]
Just… is really the original armor from Earth? If so how is that even possible? I know my soul came here in my avatar but how'd this happen? I'm both grateful yet disgusted because of everything this armor ever entailed. Yet I wouldn't get rid of it even if there was an option. I brought it into the game as an item that teased Player's and NPC's. It existed and could be obtained perfectly fine, but only by sheer fucking dumb luck. Since that'd mean killing me as an End Boss. A feat that was very very very slim to happen since it would require everyone even monster's to do it.
End Bosses are such for a reason. All life would end, the world resetting due to mass genocide of all lives but one percent.
[System Message from World Origin]
[Greetings my Lord, if you are seeing this message then that means you've put on the armor. Armor that you modeled after the original you used to don. Your soul was never meant to come here but you stayed in the game and came to this world. This has inadvertently helped this world survive just a bit longer. As for why this specific armor is here, it is simple on a very fundamental level. You fought and bled in that armor, it has become apart of your very soul.
When you crossed the Dimensional Boundaries to here you couldn't leave a part of you behind on Earth. Thus as your soul left Earth, your partner through wars and death was called with you. It through being drenched in your life force day and night has gained a fraction of your soul. A soul that is but a piece of you due to this blood bond. Treat it well, loyalty on a spiritual level like that between man and item is a treasure. Any specific wording in its Equipment Screen is not by me. For I'm not of Earth.]
So the Origin's are involved in a way if I read between the lines. I made the armor the same down to the last detail, every rip and blood stain, and they used that to pull it here. Meaning it no longer exists on Earth likely since it's here instead now. Sighing I without looking flicked Xane's nose as he stuffed his muzzle into a pocket. I was about to tell him there's nothing in it but in his hurry to pull back he had a treat between his teeth.
"Is that a thirty six year old treat….? I don't think it is…."
Patting my pockets there's NOTHING in them but I reach in thinking about Xane. Then something weird to feel happens…. A dog treat basically EXISTED by well worming its way into existence. Shaking my head I tossed the treat at him which he catches by snapping at it in the air. So what is everything war related from my past going to eventually show up? Because I got Phantom Soldier's and now my original combat armor. That's when my mind being my mind decides to randomly remember something I had done. Looking around I crouched before Xane and stared into his eyes.
"Remember the Japanese Mafia incident?"
"Gr"
"Wanna non-lethally do that to some assholes in the Adventurer's Guild? I have da pepper."
"Gr?"
Pulling an ominously black pepper from my inventory I smirked at Xane. My old partner seeing the pepper whines very unhappy at seeing the thing. Not my fault he decided to eat a fucking Ghost Pepper that one time. But this isn't Earth's Ghost Pepper no this is a Abyss Pepper, ten steps up from a Ghost Pepper because of how people in this world are. It was a glorious idea to introduce into the game because man vengeful Farmer's were mad lads with them. Sadly their extinct basically in this era…. Looking at my recently repossessed city I start a quickly made a farm for the pepper.
Abyss Pepper is an ingrident for a biochemical weapon called "Dusk Light" after all. Who wouldn't want an Old God to recreate a undead apocalyptic weapon after all? Probably everyone would say no but…. If I ever get pushed to far I can say fuck it zombies and Watcher of the End time. Wait where's THAT dungeon…. My Juggernaut is there I could tame them. Because while the Player's like Shadow hate the "Undying Midget Tank" I find my troll boss hilarious!
'Who wants to meet Gustavo? I'm finding the Eternal Graveyard and hunting his ass down to tame him.'
'This will be hilarious so do it Locky, get the midget!'
'I feel a head ache coming on because how excited you sound. Just do it so I can decide if I need to dig myself a grave '
'Gustavo? What kind of Boss Monster is he exactly?'
'He's a Troll Boss, he's a foot tall, heavily armored, he's undead, unlikable as you basically only just make him sleep so you can harvest parts off him, and he speaks in a French accent while carrying a Baguette sword, and a Baguette Minigun.'
'Whats French?'
'French? Isn't that a food?'
'I speak Icelandic not French.'
'Eh I'm American and I lived in Japan yet I didn't speak it, understood it but didn't speak it.'
'''Isn't that because you just didn't care to do so?'''
'Maybe. Most definitely. Anyways I'm gonna prank some assholes then get me a midget.'
[Holy POV]
When I woke up today I didn't think I see half the guild screaming bloody murder as their mouths burned. Yet that's what I found when I came in with my husband and our daughter. At the bar inside sat Kaiser-sans family pretty much laughing their asses off, even the one who seems to loath him is laughing.
"Okay I will hand it to that bastard, I didn't think he'd use that pepper and serve everyone he saw as rude alcohol with it mixed in with no taste. Its quite amusing to see such an evil prank played on drunks. Fucking drunks…."
"Mom, can I please claim Mr. Lockhart as my Uncle? He's terrifying yet funny with stunts like this."
"Kaede…. He's an interesting man but not a role model for children…. Or anyone really. But if you asked he'd probably be fine with it?"
"I wouldn't suggest it sweetie, he's pure evil not a good man."
"Locky is chaotic evil neutral, and knowing him he'd say okay then proceed to smash your face into food. Some orphanage kids asked him that before in the death game, and he pulled random food out of his inventory then proceeded to smash into their face."
Nearly turned around and attacked Fenris-chan, Shadow did though and met the floor. The one called Suna used Shadow's shadow to do so since he cut Fenris-chan. How she even suddenly got behind us is a mystery but from her tone she's amused by Kaede. Although thinking about it I do remember an orphanage in a recreation of Tokyo having a strange sight of food on the kids. That was Kaiser-sans doing? He didn't maime the kids but instead… covered them in food?
I need to not question this, it's Kaiser-san.
Wait. Where is he anyways? Looking to his wife I see a very evil smile as she stares at my husband. Oh. Oh my Shadow is going to suffer isn't he? From what though? That's when the guild door gets thrown open by Kaiser-san carrying something. He spots my husband then promptly throws what he is carrying at him while screaming.
"Go Gustavo I choose you!"
"Wait? No! Not this THING again! Fuck you Kaiser! Fuck your monster!"
Aaand my husband proceeded to flee by foot as a small armored figure chased him with a Baguette sword. Where did he find Gustavo? That Boss sorta just disappeared with the Undead City. Watching my husband run from the guild with the Boas on his heels chanting "It's Baguette time." My daughter voices my question.
"Where'd you find that thing?"
"Buried near the planet core, had to cheat to get into the area as my glorious hodgepodge of undead and their city got buried there. Punted a Pale Infant and it hit Gustavo, which him being him walked up to me baguette in hand, and started break dancing. He apparently missed me so when I asked him to join my pack he basically said "Yeeeeeeeessss as long as I get to troll my 'Friends'." Mentioned Shadow was here and he climbed up my side put my arm around him and demanded we go back to Balmel. So yeah got an undying troll tank, that already plans to teabag and sing the baguette song to Shadow."
"Pfft I remember that song he sang it then farted and I died due to my organs exploding."
"Whats the Baguette song?"
"""You'll learn it once he's done with your father."""
It didn't take long for the undead to march back in dragging my Husband. The first thing I hear from the undead is the baguette song. He must've heard my daughter.
"It's a lovely thing to behold
So long, so thick, so glorious
Oh baguette how perfect you are
To beat people down with
To break some bones with
To eat with some lovely flesh
Oh baguette your perfecto
Oh baguette your perfecto
If someone dares to mock the baguette
I'll pull my pants down whipping my baguette out
Beating and shoving my baguette into the eye and brain of a nonbeliever
A baguette is a lovely thing to behold
It's a masterpiece of soft yet hard fluffy goodness
Respect the baguette or you'll get the baguette
Respect the baguette or you'll get the baguette "
I forgot he sings it so romantically with such a heavy French accent. Along with the sex induendo he has in it. Good thing my little Kaede is innocent enough to not understand that part of the rather nonsensical song. Wouldn't want my little girl growing up to fast and knowing about sex just yet. Looking at Gustavo I silently give Kaiser-san a high five for getting the Boss.
For the song alone, also to punish my husband for somethings he's said, and because the little tank will help in a flood. After all I remember it having a skill that made all living things around it hate its guts enough to kill each other because they want to kill it. Just I wonder would it still scream that line which triggers that skill or just silently use it? Frankly I hope it says the line, I always giggled hearing it because how silly it is.
"Your mother is a whore who can not please the baguette!"
It is rude and sexual yet childish as well a bit that it makes me giggle. Its like listening to a ten year old trying to trash talk you after getting angry with you. Its funny yet triggers murderous intentions that you kill others affected because you want to kill him. Watching Gustavo drop my Husband at my feet he quietly climbs and stands imposingly on Kaiser-sans shoulder. The sight looks off because it's Kaiser, a CRITICAL on his head, and a very tiny undead standing on his shoulder.
"Okay I thought this would be horrible, yet this is something tame from you."
"Fenrir, you know you enjoy my bullshit after all its a joy for all tortured."
Wait. That gear Kaiser-san is wearing.
"Kaiser-san what is that armor? It looks specifically like something you've suffered in…."
"This is my old Secret Service Uniform from when I served. I put it inside the game, down to the last detail so if it looks like this, it's because I wore it for thirty-nine years without ever wanting a new one."
"Not the full reason Locky but it looks nice on you. I can smell the blood ever so freshly on it."
"Didn't kill anything, yet, so what your smelling is from another time, another life."
Heh she points that out and he actually gives an incomplete truth. If it is his old service uniform then I am surprised it's still intact honestly with how scuffed it looks. The American flag patch looks to be the most damaged yet its still holding on stubbornly. The Muted Speaker though I don't know what that is about… looking at it closer a separate Equipment Screen appears.
[Silence Patch (N/A)
Materials: N/A
Description: This patch represents a military unit made up to keep multiple people silenced. Being a soldier in the Silence unit means you did something to be put in the worst situations. Silence all opposition Colonel Lockhart, they must embrace the Reaper.
Effect: Muted Secrets - Cannot share sensitive secrets while wearing this patch. Patch cannot be removed.]
[American Flag Patch (N/A)
Materials: N/A
Description: The American flag all soldiers of the United States military display proudly. Or should display with pride for some its a mark branding them.
Effect: War Slave - This soldier is a war criminal under the direct orders of the US Military Generals. Patch cannot be removed. 530% damage increase towards all enemies, -200% resistance against $#@&!*]
How'd that window all popup…. More importantly what are those worrying descriptions? Taking a look at the armor the Analyze doesn't display its information but something else.
[Sshh it's not nice to spy on an old soldier. If you want my details then you'll need to ask the Colonel. Behave or next time you'll lose an eye, permanently.]
THAT is not supposed to happen, usually if you can't Analyze something it just fizzles out. Not pop up a message like, it's almost like the item description was threatening me…. Is it a sentient cursed armor?
"Kaiser-san is that armor a cursed sentient armor?"
"Its cursed in a way yes. Sentient? No why would you think that?"
"No reason…. So I'll be taking my family home."