Joshua and I are now on our way to Tuguegarao City. I looked outside the window of his car but I could see out of the corner of my eye that he was glancing at me.
"Concentrate on driving, we might get accident." I said to Joshua.
"Are you okay? I've been waiting for you to speak," he replied.
"I'm fine, don't worry." I said.
Are you still ashamed of me?" he asked.
"Why should I be ashamed of you?" I also asked.
"Yes or no is the only answer to my question and then you still can't answer it clearly. How much more if I ask you to be my girlfriend, it is now harder for you to answer?" he says.
"I'm serious Joshua," I said then I looked at him.
To my surprise, his car slowed down until it was slowly parked on the side of the road.
"What are you doing? Why did you stop the car?" I asked.
He looked at me with a trace of seriousness on his face. I was suddenly nervous when our eyes met. Here my heart again as if it had just come from a long run.
I'm serious too Angelica. I know this is not the right time to tell you this but I need to tell you that I like you and I am willing to wait until you realize that you like me too." he said seriously.
I was speechless at what he said. I have nothing to say because my heart is thrilling. So I just averted my eyes but he suddenly grabbed my chin and faced him again. "I know something is bothering you Ange. I can hear your heart is throbbing, he said while pointing to the location of my heart. I can feel that you like me too, you just don't care." he says.
"I don't like you Joshua.
I just consider you as a friend. No more, no less. So don't expect more from it." I said while still looking at him to make him believe that I was telling the truth even if I wasn't.
I admit that I was hurt by what I said and especially when when his face become different. From the serious face was replaced by a mixture of sadness and pain. It was as if I wanted to retract what I had told him. I was grateful when he looked down and turned to face the steering wheelof his car. I just looked out the window again and didn't look back at Joshua. I know he was hurt by what I said but he shouldn't know how I really feel. It will only be difficult for both of us if we continue to like each other. He started driving again and no one tried to open up conversation until we reached Tuguegarao City. "Where is your house?" he suddenly asked but not looking at me.
"In Puritan Street Bagay Road." I replied without looking at him either. "Just take me down the high way. I'll just walk into the alley." I said.
"I'll just take you to your house." he says.
"No, you can't Joshua. I'll be even more resentful when they see you. Just follow my instruction please?" I begged while looking at him.
He let out a sigh and then bit his lower lip.
"Ok, your wish is my command." he replied.
When we got to Bagay Road, I instruct him where he would drop me off. He parked his car near the street I was going to enter. I was about to go down when he held my arm so I looked at him.
"Can I hug you for a moment?" he asked me in pleading tune. I just nodded and opened my arms to meet his hug. My heartbeat rumbled when our skins sticking together. I felt electricity attack my whole body. I can also feel his heartbeat. "I'm hoping, this won't be the last time we meet. I hope you don't avoid me after this, let me love you." he said as he hugged me tightly. I was the one who just let go of our hug and said, "You said just a moment, it's been a long time?" I said and smiled at him. "You also want it, right ." he replied to me with a smile.
"You are really crazy. "I said as I slapped his hand. He just laughed out loud.
"Thanks for taking me here Joshua." I said.
"Your always welcome Ange. Always be take care. Can I get your number?" said Joshua.
"I didn't have a number anymore when you took it." I said with a smile on my face.
"You're a joker." he replied with a flick of his finger on my nose.
"Lend me your cellphone." he says.
I took my cp and gave it to him. He dialed a number and suddenly his cellphone rang.
"I'll just save my number here." said Joshua.
I just nodded in response. After he saved his number in my contact he returned my cp with a strange smile. I just took it and ignored his different smile.
"You don't want me to take you in your house so better come down because in few minutes my decision will change and I'll run away with you." he said with smile.
I smiled at him too and then I went down to his car. I walked away from Joshua's car and never looked back. I was afraid that someone would see me and report it to my oldest brother. Long sermons will happen again just in case.
When I got home I saw my mom and dad as well as my four older brothers sitting in the living room. It is obvious that they are waiting for me. I greeted to each of them but no words came out from their mouth.
"I'll go up to my room first, I'll just change my dressed." I asked permission to them but still no one spoke. When I got to my room my cellphone rang. When I looked at it, I saw that someone is calling.
MY LOVE? Who is this? I asked myself. I cancelled the call and switched off my phone.
"I don't have time for you," I said as if I was talking to him.
I do not know what to do. Am I going downstairs to talk to them or just pretend I feel bad and want to rest so I won't be scolded. If I don't go down, the problem may only get worse. I decided to take a bath first so I went to my bathroom and took a bath. Then I changed my clothes and go donwstair to deal with the problem I created. I decided to talk with them and ask their forgiveness. It is also my fault why I am facing this situation. When I came down, they were still in the same position. Just sitting and waiting for me. They were all looking at me as if they saying, "Admit it, you did something bad when you went there, didn't you?" I thought. I was the first to speak.
Mom, Dad, forgive me. "I said while bowing.
"Sit down first." mother said.
I sat next to dad but still not looking at them.
"What did you do at your best friend's house and you didn't come home?" Dad asked.
I could not speak immediately. Shall I say, it is my best friend's birthday and we had a drink so we didn't go home? "oh noh ... I'll be upset when I say we had a drink." I said in my mind.
"Why you can not speak, are you thinking of lying to cover up your sin?" brother Francis (second eldest) outburst.
"I'm sorry, it's my best friend's birthday and his gift request is my presence so I just came to give it to her. But their house is too far so I didn't come home last night." I replied and still couldn't look at them.
"Didn't I tell you to come home early, why are you just now? Do you know what time it is? It's almost time for lunch." said older brother Ronald (our eldest).
"We woke up late brother so I also came home late. I'm sorry." I answered.
"Who was with you back here?" asked older brother Adrian (third of the siblings).
I was surprised by his question. I was nervous, "did he see me get out of Joshua's car? It's over," I thought.
"Tell the truth Angelica if you don't want to be punished," brother Junjun (fourth of the siblings) said.
Mary Grace's cousin accompanied me because she was also going here in Tuguegarao. Mary Grace and our other friends are going to have a picnic, so I am only who came back here. "I replied. It's a good thing I didn't stutter.
"Do you have a classes afterwards?" mom asked.
"Yes mom, this afternoon." I answered.
"Ok, seems you have told the truth in all your answers so we won't punish you but don't repeat what you did. If you want to go somewhere, tell your brothers so they can take you and pick you up. You are already 19 years old so you can go where you want to go but you should still be with at least one of your older brothers," mother said.
But it does'nt mean you can be misled, you still can't. I'll repeat what I've always tell to you, "Study first, ____ "my father hung up on what he was going to say.
"Before lovers," I continued what he would say.
"Good and you won't forget." my father's said.
"How can I forget that since I was a girl, that's what I've always heard from you." I said.
"Ok thats it, let's eat first and then you can rest before going to school." said mother.
We got up together and went to the kitchen for lunch. I was grateful and they no longer asked if I was traveling with a man or a woman. I just sighed before sitting down.
"Wow! It's my favorite adobo." I said while smiling.
"I really cooked that for you, because I know you're annoyed with us for being strict with you so you were able to leave without letting us know." mother's said.
"It's not like that mom, I understand that you're so strict because you don't want to let me down. I know you're doing everything to make me better." I said.
"It's good if you understand. So don't even try to accept suitor or lover because I'll hit him or it's better if I hit you two." said older brother Ronald in a threatening voice. I just looked down and focused on my plate.
After we ate I went upstairs and enter into my room. It is 11: 30 a.m. so I still have one hour to rest. I took my cellphone and opened it. I remember the one who called me earlier "MY LOVE?" I am curious about that caller. I checked my call register again. There was a dialed and a miscall today that was both registered as MY LOVE. I remember Joshua. He was the only one who dialed on my phone. It means that Joshua registered his contact as MY LOVE thats why he has a strange smile earlier. I just smiled when I remembered his smile when he returned my phone. I typed a message for him.
To MY LOVE:
"You're really crazy Joshua. You really registered your contact as "My Love" on my phone hmmm?" I send my message to him and after a while, he called me. I immediately answered his call so that my older brothers could't hear my ringing tone.
"Hello, why did you call me? My brothers might catch me up." I said in a low voice.
"I just miss your voice, is it bad?" he replied.
"It's really bad. I'm still here at home. When we get caught, they'll take my phone and for sure we'll lose communication. Do you want that? I said.
"Of course I don't. What time are you coming to school? he asked.
"My class start at 1 o'clock but I'll come to school early so I don't get late," I answered.
"Okay. Take care always." he says.
"OK bye," then I ended the call.
I lay down on my bed and was surprised when I heard footsteps outside my room. I was nervous, I think someone overheard my conversation with Joshua. I immediately picked up my phone and edited MY LOVE in my contact. I replaced it with Lovely. I also delited my message with Joshua. I was afraid of being caught by at least one of my family. What is this happening to me. I'm learning to keep secrets from them just because of Joshua. I noticed that the doornob of my door was moving. I immediately put my phone on the table and pretended to be asleep. I felt a footstep draw near my bed. He put a blanket on me and kissed me on the forehead. I felt him near the table on which I put my phone. I opened my eyes a little and saw older brother Ronald holding my cp. I closed my eyes again and for a moment I felt him walk out of my room. When I heard the door openened and closed, I immediately opened my eyes and looked at my cellphone. I thought he took my phone, but he didn't. Maybe he just looked at something. Whatever it is, I don't know. Fortunately, I changed the contact name of Joshua on my phone.