ANGELICA POV
I woke up when I feel I was already in bed. It was dark all around and my stomach was rumbling. I haven't eaten all day. I was about to get up but I felt my knees ache. It hurt because I knelt on the legumes for 8 hours. Gradually I came back to the memory of what happened where they hurt me again physically and emotionally. I don't know why i am experiencing this kind of life. I can't do anything to scape in this miserable life. I want to give up.
I hugged my knees as my tears flowed unceasingly. I still can't understand my family why they treat me differently. Suddenly the door of my room opened causing it to be dimmed by the light from the light outside. I saw Dad carrying a plate of food and a glass of water. He turn on the light and he saw my position.
"Eat your dinner first my Princess. It's enough to cry, look you're so ugly," he says.
I heard the plate and glasses land on my study table and his footsteps approaching me. I burst into tears when I felt his hug on my shoulder.
You can get past that too. Just be steady. I am here for you. I love you so much my Princess. Always remember that in every problem, there is a solution. Everything happens for a reason. So be strong dear daughter. Eat this so that you have the strength to face problems," my father said.
I also hugged my father and he patted my back to calm me down. This time I felt I still had an ally. Despite the sin I have committed, someone is ready to understand and still accept me. Dad didn't leave me until I had finished eating. She was telling me about him and mom's love story. "When I was courting your mother, it wasn't easy for me. Her parents were also strict. She even chased me mentally because she saw me talking to her daughter. I also had the courage to go to their house to personally court your mom. But they chased me to their dog and hospitalized because the dog bit me on various parts of my body. I almost died that time. But because it is not yet my time to die, I survived. When I came out of the hospital there was a letter which my friend gave me. Letter from your mother. I read her letter.
"I'll be waiting for you at the Victory terminal to Manila tomorrow at 5 am. If you love me, don't be late. We'll avoid each other, I love you." That's the content of his letter, said dad while smiling.
I loved your mother so much that's why I went to her place that she said. We did escape, but our life in Manila was not easy. It feels happy to be together, loving, working together and caring for each other. Until the ordeal came upon us. I lost my job and found it difficult to work again. We have experienced not eating all day, enduring pain and hunger, even being kicked out of our boarding house, being homeless on the road, we have experienced living in a cemetery, even not being admitted to the hospital because there is no payment and purchase of medicine. We regret the decision your mother and I made. If we had just listened to her parents we might not have experienced so much hardship. If we had studied first and graduated, your older brothers might not have gone through such a life. If we had just waited for the right opportunity to form a family we would not have regretted it later. But we can't bring back what is done but we can change the future. We don't want you to experience what we did before because of our stubbornness.
We love you Princess and we want you to finish your study because this is the only thing we can pass on to you. When you graduate, you won't have a hard time finding a job. Understand your mother my dear daughter. She is just afraid that you might be like her because out of love she made the wrong decision."
"I understand Dad. I'm very sorry for what I've done. I won't do it again." I said.
"Ok, take a rest, Princess. Don't harbor resentment. Good night." father says.
"Good night too Daddy." I replied.
I thinking about everything my father told me. But I still feel bad for my mother and my older brothers because of how they treated me this morning. I got up from the bed and went to the window of my room. I opened it and looked up. I let out a deep sigh. It is beautiful to look at the twinkling stars. I looked up at the sky as if I were looking for God. I close my eyes and fold my hands and put it near my heart and talk to God.
My precious God, thank you for this tiring day. Forgive me Lord for what I've done and for I feel this moment. Please give me strength oh Lord and also Joshua. In this moment Lord, you know my heart, my weakness, my pain, my problems, my circumstances and everything. I surrender everything to you oh Lord. Embrace me and hold my hand and lead me to the right path.Please guide me and even Joshua. I believe in you Lord with your words written in the book of Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. " In Jesus name i pray. Amen.
I wiped the tears that flowed down my cheeks and let out another deep breath. I believe in what my father said earlier that "everything happens for a reason and that reason is to fulfill God's plan for each of us. I remember what Joshua told me this morning.
Flashback:
"Happy First Monthsary My Love. I hope that we will be together forever. I will pray to God that he will always give us strength to fight all problems, hardships, pain, loneliness and every thing that we may encounter once your family will know about our relationship. I Love You so much and always take care of yourself. And please never give up on me. " he said. End of flashback.
He said he would pray, and that was also what I need to do.
"I miss you Joshua, I hope you're ok. I won't give up on you. I will NEVER give up on you. We just need to stay away from each other first to fulfill God's great plan for us. Just believe in Him. We just need to do our best and God will do the rest." I said while looking at the brightest star.
I went back to bed and covered myself with a blanket so that Joshua would disappear from my mind.
I could hardly breathe, as if something had ran over me. I forcefully removed the blanket that covered my face and saw Joshua's smiling face.
"peackaboo!" he says.
"Tssk. You look like a child" I said.
"Get up my love, you still have work to do." he said to me.
"How can I get up you're so heavy." I said.
"Where's my morning kiss first, my love," he said.
I was about to speak but his lips covered mine. Long and careful with mixed excitement. His right hand moved slowly and touched my nape causing his kiss to me to get worse. I responded with kisses full of love. I was also grabbed his nape and closed my eyes because I could no longer stand the sensation caused by Joshua. He slowly removed the blanket wrapped around my body and slowly inserted his left hand inside my dress. My heart beat so fast. I let him do what he was doing. He freely massaged my chest. His kiss went down my chin until it reached my neck. He was about to take off my clothes when the door suddenly opened and I heard a loud gunshot. I hugged Joshua but I was scared because I touched like liquid on his back. I looked at it and saw blood. I cried and touched Joshua's face to see if he was ok. But his eyes were closed as if he had no life. I sobbed as I hugged him and looked at who had shot him. I saw brother Ronald smiling like threatening. I shivered and hugged Joshua tightly. I tried to wake him up when he closed his eyes. I wanted to shout but I couldn't. I want to stand but I can't stand. I am very weak and terrified because I could see older brother Ronald approaching me. He forcibly pulled my right arm and take me away from Joshua's body.
"Have mercy on me brother. I am hurt." I said.
He let go of my hand and hugged me tightly. I wondered at the kind of his hug upon me. It's like he miss me so much and don't want me away from him. He let go of his hug and looked me in the eyes until his eyes went to my lips. He touches my lips slowly. Until he slowly brought his face closer to me while still looking at my lips. I was so nervous. Before our lips touch, I immediately pushed him hard to make him sit on the floor. Obviously he was shocked by what I did. I ran to get out in my room but he grabbed my right foot causing me to fall. He pulled my leg until I was close to him. He picked me up and laid me down on the bed. He dropped Joshua's lifeless body on the floor as if he had nothing to do with it. He locked me in his hard arm. I was so scared with him. I was screaming but no one seemed to hear me. I was pushing him but it was just like I was pushing a wall. I am very weak. I don't have the strength to fight anymore. He grabbed my nape and slowly kissed my lips. I can't control my tears anymore. I'm giving up. My body is numb. I felt my older brother's kiss go down my neck.
"Brother stop! That's enough. Please? Have mercy on me." I beg.
Brother Ronald stopped kissing me. He looked at me like a tiger's eyes glazed over.
"We're brothers. Why are you doing this to me?" I said to him in a weak voice.
Suddenly his face changed. It was like being an angel from heaven smiling at me.
I love you. I am madly in love with you," he said while caressing my cheek and wiping my tears that were scattered there.
"Make love with me sweetheart. After that, you are free to love other man. I just don't like anyone to get ahead of me in your body. I've loved you all my life. I can't help feeling this way. I'm sorry sweetheart but I can't give you what you're asking for," he said. He took my hands and pressed them to my upper head and he started his plan to claim me. I cried and kneel his friend causing him to writhe in pain. I kicked him hard again and he fell on the bed. I quickly got up and got off the bed but I was startled when his gun fired so I stopped and turned to him. "Go back here or you will die," he seriously said. I were stuck in my position. I saw him get up but I suddenly turned around to open the door but I heard a gunshot.