Dang Bich Quyen was startled. Looking back, it was already midnight. This Nottingham winter is so cold that even when the heater is turned on, she just wants to bury herself in the blanket, not wanting to step out. She looked into the distance, vaguely seeing the electric lights flickering outside the misty window, sighing quietly. Suddenly, thinking about the past, it really doesn't matter. Bich Quyen sat up with her hands on her back; the phone next to her showed a message. She wondered, who was texting her at this time? Bich Quyen originally did not have many friends. Even when she moved to England to live, she rarely opened her mouth to talk to others. She always sat alone in a corner when she went to class. Only when the teacher grouped them together did she talk to other friends. From being a happy girl to becoming like this, it's all a haunting past. Bich Quyen looks at everyone with fear. It's really funny! Previously, she had thought about studying abroad, where she would meet many new friends and learn a lot of new knowledge. But now she's like a turtle with its neck shrinking, and she doesn't dare do anything.
The temple transmitted an intense pain so that before she could pick up the phone to answer the message, she had to rub her aching temples. That hurts! It felt like someone was stabbing her head with a hammer one by one. Did she have to take medicine again? She frowned, rummaged through the medicine box in the drawer, and took a pill with difficulty. The bitter taste of the medicine, along with the cold water, drifted down to the stomach. She ate very little for dinner tonight, so she doesn't know if it's okay to take medicine like this. Before, every time she had a headache, she needed medicine. To be more precise, the mind is unstable, so it is necessary to take medicine to treat it. Bich Quyen used to suffer from severe depression and even attempted suicide but failed.
She still remembers that time when her mother cried all her tears and hugged Bich Quyen in her arms. In the room that smelled of antiseptic at that time, that was the first time Bich Quyen saw that there were grey hairs in her parents' hair, and wrinkles at the corners of their eyes. If Bich Quyen's family only has her as the only daughter, who will take care of them? When they saw her submerged in a tub filled with blood, both of their hearts seemed to have stopped beating. Bich Quyen's body was cold; there was no warmth left. The pale faces reflected in the blood-red water and the strong smell of blood in the air made them really scared.
- Mom, I don't want to be here anymore.
Her throat was dry, and Bich Quyen tried her best to be able to fully say every sentence. She didn't want to stay in Vietnam anymore, and she didn't want to stay in that house anymore. Those words, every corner, made her feel scared.
Mrs. Huong hugged her daughter, choking and nodding. If she doesn't want to stay, they don't stay anymore, so their whole family moves. Seeing your child like that as a parent, is there no heartache, no mercy? Bich Quyen is an only child. Needless to say, Mrs. Huong cried and fainted. Mr. Tu just stood beside his wife, saying that their daughter would be fine, nothing would happen. Mrs. Huong was looking at Bich Quyen weakly. Saving a life from hell, she agreed to whatever her daughter wanted.
In her vague memory, Bich Quyen looked down at her hand. Under the dim nightlight, there were still unsightly scars, proof that she wanted to cut her wrists to commit suicide at that time. That wound is cleverly covered by her with a blood-red tattoo of Biloba flowers, but it still can't erase the pain when she cuts her wrist with a razor. She sighed, lying down again, covering herself with the blanket. The headache passed, and now she picked up the phone to see who was texting. A message appeared, but she did not save the name. Strange phone number? Except for her family members, who else has her phone number?
[Quyen, how are you these days?]
[Sorry, who is that?]
She slowly texted herself each word. She didn't know who got her number, but certainly not her old friends. In the past, Bich Quyen also used the phone; it's just that since coming to England, she hasn't used that number anymore.
[You don't recognize me anymore? It's me, Tuan.]
Her eyes were wide open, the light from the phone screen reflecting on her lost face. Tuan? Which Tuan? Le Manh Tuan? Her best friend of the opposite sex? Bich Quyen's hands trembled, and her head sent a pain again.
[Why do you have my number?]
Although her head hurt so much that Bich Quyen had to grit her teeth to endure, she still texted each word. Why does he have her number? Who did give it to him? Her mother? Her father? Or someone else?
[Your mother gave it to my mother, I just happened to see it.]
The screen showed a line. It turned out that her mother was the one who gave this number. Can't blame Mrs. Huong. She gave Tuan's mother the number and certainly did not think that he would take her number. But Mrs. Huong did not keep her promise to her, that is, not to give Bich Quyen's number to anyone in Vietnam. She smiled lightly. Her mother really isn't trustworthy at all, she said. Apparently not seeing her text back, the phone vibrated again.
[Don't change numbers, I want to keep in touch with you. Changing your phone number didn't even give me a word.]
[You don't have to text me, pretending to be interested. The person I don't want to see the most is you.]
[A matter of the past, I'm sorry. When you return to Vietnam, can I meet you?]
[No, you can't! I do not want to! Sorry, it's midnight now. I'm going to bed.]
Enter the last words and then press send. Bich Quyen turns off the phone. Things from the past? Now, what's the point of apologizing? Burying her head in the blanket, her body kept shaking. Bich Quyen tried to close her eyes, clasped her hands together, and told herself that "It's okay," "everything is fine," but she herself, from the bottom of her heart, also knew, "not okay a little bit."
The past, to her, is just something that happened, which cannot be undone. She did not feel that she would fall with every word of insult, humiliation, and fight. But the person who made her unbearable, psychologically hurt to the extreme, was the friend she trusted the most.
Who do you think you are? Do you like me enough to do such disgusting things? Dang Bich Quyen, I'm afraid of you. I regret being friends with you.
Le Manh Tuan's harsh voice, disgusted face, and discriminatory eyes are what break all the most resilient Dang Bich Quyen has. She can endure pain and can also endure the insults of others, but she cannot stand a word from her best friend of the opposite sex. The corners of her eyes were hot. She didn't know how many times she had burst into tears on such a dark night. Perhaps the night is when people are weakest. How much pain and self-deprecation are revealed before the black night can't see anything like this? It is often said that people under the moonlight are when people are at their weakest. They borrow the moonlight to express themselves. Nottingham city's night has no moon, only darkness, but it's enough to make people fearful.
- You took your mother's phone on your own?
Somewhere far away from England, a boy had his head down on his knees, his phone still on. The boy sighed, looked at his mother, who had just opened the door to come in; his eyes were filled with fatigue and regret. Linh looked at her son, walked up to him, and quietly hugged him in her arms. It has been three years and her son still has not forgotten the old story. That's right, by the time he knew the whole truth, Bich Quyen was no longer in Vietnam.
Le Manh Tuan rested his head on his mother's shoulder, not saying a word. In the morning, when he found out that his mother still kept in touch with Bich Quyen's mother, he tried to ask her for a word or two, but couldn't. Because he was too worried about Bich Quyen, he took his mother's phone and accidentally saw Bich Quyen's number on it.
- Mom, Bich Quyen won't forgive me, right? Otherwise, she won't even reply to my texts.
Mrs. Linh sighed. She knew how to say this. The truth is naked in front of his eyes, but Tuan doesn't want to look directly at it.