Carter's pov
Shit shit shit!!!
I paced up and down my office because I didn't know what else to do, I didn't mean to scare her off. It was obvious that she was upset about something and I just made it worse.
I didn't mean to kiss her but I couldn't help myself, she was looking so vulnerable and sweet, I just didn't know what came over me to do such a thing.
We agreed that there would not be a physical relationship between the both if us, but right now the only person breaking that rule is me. I have been the one breaking and blurring the lines that we both agreed not to cross. It's like the two days she spent out made me miss her more than I realized.
No.
That can't be it, I was not attracted to her before she left, and I also know so many of her affairs because we are not sleeping together. But right now, seeing her tear stained face, I didn't care about all those other men she has been with, I wanted to be the only one now.
I rubbed my temple, I could feel a headache coming on. It's not my fault, ever since she came back from the party with her friends, it's like she had an Epiphany. She has been nice, more hardworking and better than her old self.
This was the Devlin that I was hoping to marry, not the one that I got. And now that she has become exactly who I wanted, all I felt was confusion
I am beginning to wonder if I need to get my hair checked. This was all confusing.
I didn't mean to take advantage of her when she was being emotional, but she looked so adorable with those puppy eyes and her lips begging me to kiss them.
God!
How can I be so stupid? She ran away from me, it's obvious that she doesn't want me like I want her.
Maybe I should keep my distance like before. There was no need to blur the lines again, we were perfect being apart.
No!
I need to be close to her, to smell her hair again, her soft body pressed to mine, so small like it was meant to fit my frame. I had this urge to protect this woman from anything it anyone.
I couldn't keep avoiding her that would be bad.
Wait!
She kissed me back, I felt a smile grace my face.
She actually kissed me back, I didn't realize it before but it was clear to me now. This attraction wasn't one sided, my wife was beginning to feel something for me too. I wonder why she has not acted on it,
Does she want to?
I don't even know her anymore.
The devlin I vowed to stay away from was cold and aloof, but this new devlin was warm and receptive. She was also hardworking and smart. How come I never saw this before?
It must be the wine talking,
Right, I didn't take any wine.
I shook the thought off, I needed to think and figure out a way to come up with the perfect solution to apologize for scaring her off. Maybe we can start from the beginning and make amends, we can start out as friends then we can work out way up.
I am going to court my wife.
I smiled to myself when the idea came to me, I sat down in my chair, coming up with solutions on how to make her accept my apology.
I called a bunch of people to help me set up what I wanted, I wanted to go up and take a shower but since I was already down here, I might as well do some work now that I am here.
I pulled out my drawer to get my files out my eyes landing on the marriage contract. I paused, taking it all in.
This was supposed to be all business, no feelings attached. Just a deal between two strangers who would benefit greatly at the end of all this.
So why was I trying to ruin that for us by being attracted to her, that would lead to a series of actions that would be out of my control. I didn't want to ruin our chances of having a better life. I for one have a plan but does she?
She seems to be picking up a lot of work these days, so it means she has an idea of what she is doing not like she was pretending before.
I kept the marriage back in its place, bringing it out was supposed to remind me of my place in this marriage, the promise I made to myself and the benefits of coming out of this unscarred. But it didn't work, I wanted my wife to like me and I needed her to like me for who I am, not the one written on paper.
I wish we could start from the beginning, but what we can do is to correct out steps now that it's not too late.
I locked the file in its apartment, taking out the ones that I needed. I got to work.
My stomach grumbled, I looked down wondering why it was doing that, then I remembered that I didn't get to eat my burger because I was too busy lusting after her.
She is going to have a field day today eating both burgers and fries, she doesn't need to face me tonight and meet the awkwardness in the air.
I groan again, this is such a mess.
I wanted to call them to order something to eat, when I heard movement outside my door, there was a shadow moving under it.
I stood quickly, moving to the door and wrenching it open. Nobody was there, but when I looked down,
There was a plate containing my cheese burger and fries. I searched but she wasn't there,
She is thoughtful and sweet, and I can't stay away from her.