"Hi Philip, how have been" she always wore a white blouse with a black shirt, red lipstick on and her hair tied in a bun. She sat downed with her long fair legs crossed. She always kept eye contact, giving you that feeling of being read inside out. She seemed very in control but I could bet she was on the edge by the way she played with her black pen. Is she afraid of me, no she is not but there is something off about her today?
"Lady love, as usual, I'm just me. Would be better if I didn't have to talk with you, no offence".
"None taken, I understand admitting emotions isn't your forte but that's why I am here. To make you understand it's okay to feel the real emotions you should feel. Tha anger and disappointment you should feel towards those you love".
She spoke very slowly emphasizing each word.
" I do feel disappointment and right now it's towards the system that hired you to do, whatever you're doing right now".
I did reply in a very sincere and polite manner. I do respect this Lady called Love but to say I liked her..... sigh would be a lie. People like her make it seem like everything is easy and simple, love is complicated, emotions are overrated and I'm sick, so what the heck I'm I doing in this unwanted session.
"I believe you have something for me".
" I'm more of a verbal guy, could not write any significant thing on it".
"Don't you worry, I will be the judge of that. Please just hand it over to me".
I gave her the paper and she immediately placed it in the file on her lap. And just like that back to business, she stared into my soul for a while before asking me the most absurd question yet.
" Do you love yourself????".
" Okay that's the first, haven't been asked that before. I don't. I hate who I am and the sickness or let me just call it as it is, the curse I live with".
"Okay,".
" Hahaha, that's all you have to say. Such a therapist, huh. Anyways if you're done, can I be left alone".
"I'm just starting, You don't love yourself because of your illness or because of what you've done or the fact that you allowed yourself to work extremely hard for a love you never got in returned, which one exactly?".
" All of them and also because I didn't strangle my parents to death. I'm just joking, they were good parents".
" But I didn't even ask of your parents Philip"
I was speechless for a sec, yes she didn't ask about them.
"Your subconscious is telling you a lot, Philip maybe it's about time you heard it out. So tell me about your parents. How were they, growing up???".