"My parents were just like all other parents".
" I would prefer a specific answer if you please". Ladylove interjected.
" They gave me love, discipline and made me strong. They did their best and that's the main aim, right???.
"So in one word what would you say you have towards them and let's put love aside for just a few seconds. What word would you use for them and don't think about it, just say it? Allow your subconscious to rule for just a while. Take a deep breath in and hold, don't think, say and exhale".
I did exactly as she said and I hated the outcome.
" Demons... No, they weren't, you tricked me into saying that. I will....."
"I didn't do anything Philip I just helped you connect with your real self, the one you have buried. It is screaming for an exhale. Allow it to take in some air. And you really can't do much behind this thick glass separating us. So I would advise you to show your anger through words. Your anger should not be buried either, show them unleash it until you can take control of it".
" If I get you right, you are telling me to insult or show my anger in any other form verbally".
"Not exactly but if that's what you feel like doing. If your emotions tell you that's the right thing to do, just do so".She replied.
" Imagine just for a minute that I'm your mother. What would you say to me, what would you have wanted me to do differently. Tell me what you hated about me, tell me my flaws as a mother to a son like you".
"Nothing, I have nothing to say to her. She might be even dead as we speak and I won't even know so what is the essence of this. She's non-existent, My wife is the only one I owe words to. I know sorry doesn't cut it though, that's why I turned myself in before anyone else would. What I did wasn't wrong it is the outcome of it that was wrong, awful to say the least. I had noooooo intention whatsoever to harm a hair on her head. I was supposed to protect her and that is what I am guilty of. Guilty for not being the man she deserved, one to protect her from all things and even death".
"So would you agree with me that, your insecurity was the death of her. Such an urge to be one with someone with or without their will is a sign of insecurity. So were you insecure".