My mom plants a kiss on my cheek as she bids me goodbye right outside Ryan's house. Getting down, I become a little surprised. It's not like has done or said anything to make me feel he is super-rich, his looks are so good one will automatically think he's rich. But maybe not. It's a small one-storied apartment. Because there's no super shop or bus station around here, houses are pretty cheap. He doesn't look like the type of person who would live in a place like this. A motorbike is parked right outside the home, which also doesn't suit his expensive face. I ring the bell once. No one opens. I wait a bit before ringing again. Still no answer. I start banging the door. Maybe he's sleeping. It's night anyways. Maybe he's in the washroom. Maybe he's on a phone call. I would have banged politely if there were not so many mosquitoes biting every part of me in the middle of the night in a deserted area. As soon as he opens the door, my doubt is cleared. My second guess was correct. He was in the washroom, showering. I know it in detail because as he opens the door, I find a hair-fully-wet, wearing-just-a-towel Ryan. He definitely takes great care of his body. Even though I try not to look, his abs make it hard for me to not look at him.
"Like what you see?" Ryan asks with a grin as he eyes me up and down.
How is it the same guy who seemed so unapproachable so distant? Right now, all he looks like is a professional playboy whose target of the moment is me.
'Relax Julie, he's not interested in you. He's not interested in girls. He's gay.' I remind myself constantly while fighting to keep my breathing normal.
"If you excuse me," I say while making my way into his house and ignoring his question.
As I walk inside the house, it looks even less like a place Ryan would live in. Maybe face doesn't tell you all about a person. As they say, don't judge a book by its cover.
I look at him to ask where my room is when I notice he is still half-naked.
"You think you could get dressed then show me my room?"
Not removing his grin he says, "Sure. Give me a minute. You can have a seat on the sofa till then."
'No thanks.' I think to myself.
Since childhood mom taught me to remain clean. Now it has become such a habit that I can't stay in an unclean place. A place like Ryan's.
I just stand there while looking around the house. A small dining table in the middle empty space, a shoe rack beside the main gate where no shoes are kept instead they are all on the floor, a double sofa, an android TV, a mini-fridge. There are two rooms, so I suppose the other one in which Ryan didn't go to change his clothes is mine. But out of politeness I still wait there. There's a small balcony whose door is closed. I decided to see the balcony. But when I try to open it it's jammed. So hard it seems no one has ever opened it. I return to the place where I kept my bags to wait for Ryan. Within a minute as he said, he came out wearing a chocolate-colored three-quarter pant and a black T-shirt. Does he know I like guys in black clothes?
"My room?"
He pointed to the room I guessed would be mine. I walk inside the room and find a small single bed, a table, a small window beside the table, and a mini closet. There are some books lying next to the table which is covered in dust. The curtains of the windows are closed giving the room a shabby look. But the biggest problem is there is no attached washroom in the room. While I was scanning the room I didn't notice how close behind me Ryan was standing. As a result, when I turn to look for the washroom, I find myself just in front of Ryan.
Shit. He's an inch away from my face. Even with my breath on his face, he doesn't move. Instead, he's grinning.
"Looking for something?" he asks still not moving. I can smell what he ate. It's chicken.
Even though I want to reply or at least pull away I can't. My body doesn't feel like it's in my control anymore. With great effort, I manage, "Washroom."
That was enough. He pulled away. Turning his back towards me he said, "Follow me." And I did as he told without objecting.
The washroom was just beside his bedroom. What a weird layout of the house. It's in a position that if he kept his door a bit open he would easily see me when I entered the washroom. It's so uncomfortable. What's more uncomfortable is that I go to the washroom frequently even while I'm sleeping. I hate the fact that he will be able to see me in the middle o night in the middle of sleep going to the washroom in a messed up state. But he probably won't stay awake to see me in an uncomfortable state. Because he's interested in guys, not girls. That calms me a bit.
''If there's nothing else, I have to go somewhere. Make yourself comfortable."
I had the urge to ask him where he was going, given it was the middle of the night. But decided it wasn't my place to ask.
"Ok." and with that, he left. At least my guess that the bike parked outside is his was correct.
At first, I wanted to clean my room given how dirty and dusty it was. But then my body refused. So, I decided to listen to my body and let it rest. I'll clean the room tomorrow after returning from school. And with that thought, I change into my pajamas, lock the bed, and flop to the bed. Before Ryan returns I find myself drifting to sleep.