When we return, it's long after sunset. 'Mom's gonna kill me if she knows.'
''Ryan, do me a favor, will you?"
"What?"
"Don't tell my mom about it."
"About what?"
"That we returned late."
"Why?"
"Because dad's...No, nothing. Just don't tell her"
"Sure."
Tired, I go to bed and check my phone which I always keep silent to avoid distractions during the study.
1 missed call from Dan.
8 missed calls from mom.
I call mom back.
"Hello, mom. How are...?"
"Oh, Julie. Why did you answer my call so late? Do you know how worried I was? You should know better than to make me worried like this. When did you return from school?"
"Hours ago, right after the school ended. Why mom?"
"Why did you not answer my calls?"
"Mom, I was studying. My phone was silent in my bag. Why are you asking me so many questions? I have study to do. I'm hanging up." I said annoyed.
But I didn't hang up. I knew I hurt mom by raising my voice.
"Mom, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."
"It's fine, sweety. I know because of your dad's and my profession, you and your sister had to go through tons of trouble. While other kids were out late-night partying, you two had to return home before the sun went down. I know it must have been hard for you two."
"Mom, no. Please don't say that. You have given us the best of everything. Always the best food, the best dress, the best education. You even managed to raise us up as excellent human beings. Mom, I could never express how thankful I'm for that."
"Julie, there's something I need to tell you."
I hated how my mom sounded. I know whatever she was gonna tell wasn't something I would like to hear. But before I could say anything, she continued.
"I met Lily today."
"Where? I thought she was far away in Milwood."
"Yes, she was. But she came to your dad's company to meet us."
"Mom, I don't want to know about her."
"Julie, she has a kid. A one-year-old girl."
"What? Really?"
"Yes, and do you know what her name was? It was Julianna, named after you. Julie, you know how much she loves you. She is your sister."
"Mom, the day she left us, she was dead for me from that moment on. Did you forget how selfishly she left us during our worst time to make a future with the person she likes?"
"No, I didn't. But you know she had no choice. And also today is Julianna's birthday. Lily wants you to call her."
"Mom, I can't. Not after how she left us."
"Julie, she had to. Her life, her lover's life was in danger. She had to leave for everyone's good. And, if you had the chance, wouldn't you also leave this life? If you had a chance, wouldn't you also leave us like your sister?"
Would I? Wouldn't I? I couldn't answer mom because I also didn't have it. My sister had a person who loved her so much he was willing to enter our dangerous life. That person's life was in danger. Wouldn't I also leave if I was instead of her?
Getting no answer from me, my mom continued, "I'll send you her number. Please call her Julie. She is not also happy away from us. She sincerely regrets what she did. At least for Julianna, do it." And just like that mom hanged up. After a minute mom sent me Lily's phone number. At first, I decided not to call her. But then I remembered the question mom asked me of which I didn't have a reply. I called her. The phone rang once and she picked up.
"Hello?"
I couldn't find my voice.
"Hello? Who's this?"
"Julie? Is that you?"
I managed a "Hello."
"Julie? Oh my god, Julie, you really called. Julie, I miss you so much. I'm so sorry for that day Julie. I shouldn't have left like that." and just like that both of us started crying. Loud crying, not sobs.
Lily didn't give me time to say anything. She went on about how sorry and regretful she was for how she left me, left us. When I said that I forgave her, she told me about her husband Aiden, their house in Milwood, their jobs, their lives, and of course, about Julianna. They call her Julie in short. Listening about how happy life she has, I forgot all the anger and resentment I felt for her. I also tell her about my life, how mom left me with Ryan. I leave the part where I like Ryan out. My sister always has been sensitive about boys around me. She thinks I have a bad taste in boys. But I call it refined taste.
When she was about to hang up, she said, "Julie, did mom tell you about her moving?"
"No, moving where?"
"She'll tell you soon. It's not my place to say. I'll hang up now."
"Wait, Lily,"
"Yeah?"
"Why don't you come home with Aiden and Julianna? I wanna meet them."
"You'll meet them soon sweetheart."
And, she cut the call. I lay on my bed, closing my eyes.
Talking to Lily lifted a heaviness off my heart I didn't know existed inside me. I felt much better. I was really curious about the move Lily said but mom will tell me when the time is right. So I try not to dwell on it much. I close my eyes and as I found myself slowly drifting to sleep, my phone rang. I get up and take my phone to see Dan calling me.
"Hey, Dan. I saw you called. I was gonna call you back but something held me up. So, how's Jessi doing?
"She's awake. Like actually, awake. Not moving just fingers."
"Really?"
"Yups. The doc is checking her now. Hurry to the hospital."
I wipe the tears off my face that were formed during talking to Lily. And in a rush, I leave my room. I was rushing so much that I didn't even notice when I ran into Ryan. I pushed him to the ground, with my body on top of his and my lips an inch away from his.