SAMANTHA:
Samantha ran down the hall, trying to get as far away from the cafeteria as possible. The walls and carpet swooshed past her as she ran and the world blurred. She didn't want to waste any tears on Alester, but she was struggling to hold them back. She ran as fast as possible, letting her feet take her where they wanted.
At first, she thought she knew where she was going. She thought she was going to her room, but as she lunged through the doors, she realized she was no longer racing past walls and carpet. Instead, flowers and brick and leaves blurred past her, and she didn't stop until her legs gave out.
Samantha dropped to her knees and gripped her chest. She couldn't breathe. The pain coming from her heart was almost unbearable, and it raced at twice its normal speed. She couldn't think straight, see straight, or even move. Still, she wanted to be stronger than to cry over a boy, and yet she couldn't stop the piercing, tearless wail that ripped itself out of her lungs, and soon after, the pain in her heart ripped its way through her body, transforming her wail into a howl.
She howled long past what could be comfortable for her throat and kept going until all she could produce was a pained whimper. It took until dawn for her to calm down enough to stop crying out in anguish and look at her surroundings.
She hadn't noticed it the night before, but an unfamiliar forest with an edge that dropped off mere feet from where she lay surrounded her. In any other situation, the scene before her would have been beautiful. The orange and yellow mist of a sunrise highlighted the trees and bounced off the small lake that sat just beneath her. She was on top of a cliff that rose just over a waterfall, and the loud whooshing of the falling water was enough noise to drown out her thoughts, but not enough to stop the pain that was in her heart.
It had, however, kept her howls to herself. And if she had thought of it, she would have been glad that patrolling wolves hadn't heard her howls. She wouldn't have been able to handle someone seeing her in that state.
She rested her head on her paws and stared over the cliff, and let the whooshing water keep her thoughts away for as long as she could allow. She knew she would have to head back eventually, and by the time the sun had risen a few inches into the sky, the pain in Samantha's heart was too much to just sit idly. It was time to go back.
She hadn't exactly seen how she had gotten to the waterfall, but as her paws padded along the dirt and twigs, she felt confident that her legs would take her where she needed to go.
Samantha wasn't ready to face her thoughts, but she knew she wouldn't have a choice. They would come as soon as the waterfall was out of earshot. Plus, she needed those thoughts so she could understand what had caused her so much pain, even if it brought more.
She let her thoughts run rampant and reveal themselves as they wanted.
Surprisingly, her thoughts had taken her all the way to her parents. Who were her real parents? Did it matter? Would her adopted parents still want her if they learned what she was? What was she? Not human, not a wolf, a werewolf. A mythical creature that shouldn't exist, but they existed, and she was one. She hadn't really had time to process that fact, and she was sure some of her anguish came from the reality of being a werewolf.
Besides that, her life over the last few days played in her mind like an orchestra; The brilliant green eyes of the boy who had caught her attention at the top of the stairs and made her lose her breath, how she fell entranced and walked towards him, his smell that made all other smells pale in comparison, the shivers that had vibrated both of their bodies, and the terror and confusion when he transformed into a wolf right in front of her. And then the uncontrollable shaking and pain that racked through her as she watched Phiona claimed him as hers.
She had run away then; she didn't know why, but perhaps she did now. It wasn't the shaking of her body or the pain that threatened to rip through it or even the need to be within the safety of privacy or the openness of trees. It was the anger and confusion over that boy being claimed by someone else that had caused her to run into the trees and complete her shifting.
Had Phiona not stepped in, Samantha probably would have shifted right there in the middle of the cafeteria.
The place seemed to hold a lot of painful memories. She watched Alester claimed by Phiona; watched as Alester left her by herself, watched as Alester actively ignored her, and she watched as she fought with Alester, all in the cafeteria.
She realized now why her heart broke within her. It had less to do with the argument than she thought, though it played a role.
She hadn't realized just how much hope she was putting into the small moments they shared; the playful jokes, and the serious conversations, the way sparks danced on her skin wherever they touched or when his eyes met hers, the almost kiss, and the relief of being found by him in the forest even while she was still on edge. She now wished she had been more cautious.
Alester wasn't who she thought he was, though that hurt less than the fact that even if he was, he could never be hers. She didn't belong there; she didn't belong with him and she never had.
It wasn't a rejection said out loud, but she had accepted it in her heart. The gaping hole that filled her with pain confirmed that she was giving up her mate. And she would have to say it out loud soon enough.
The trees thinned, and she instinctively held her arms over her chest when her body changed out of wolf form and back into her body. She would have to come up with another way to view it, since technically both forms were her body.
Even if no one was looking, she wanted to be somewhat modest, and it was the only way she knew to hold herself together. After a few more steps through the woods; she recognized where she was. She tried to ignore the relief that she felt when she saw she was almost back. But back where? Her room? His house?
Samantha made it through the clearing and could see the garden ahead when she realized she had nothing to cover her. She had ripped the clothes she had to shreds and now had nothing to wear. She prayed no one would see her; naked, with twigs in her hair, and covered in dirt. She had to make it back to her room quickly before she drew attention.
"Samantha?" Liam called her name.
Her head jerked up and met his gaze.
No. Why him? Why did it have to be him?
It was too much. Samantha closed her eyes and fainted.