Haru stepped down the rubble and walked away. The blue particles calmed down and signaled the end of a clash. I was still shocked from his words. "Only making sure I was dead, huh? Don't make me laugh, trash! All this time I tolerated a failure like you in my presence. When I get out of here, I will put this world's weight on your shoulders!" I threatened him, not knowing if he heard me or not. The fact that his intuition was right about Salan crashing into the earth made me angry to my very core. The only thing, Haru did my entire life was: be unpredictable, hard to control and difficult to cage in.
He failed everything. He had no hobbies and interests, only getting drunk and high was his way of having fun. And the only thing great about him: His ability to make people trust him and lead them. I envied that ability. It had less steps to control people than how I did it. I told lies about myself to my prey first, made them think I was like them, had them face hardship, then help them through this hardship and use my charisma to have their complete trust. But at some point I got sick of lying.
'A second wave that only affected humans? Was he telling the truth? I won't know if I can't get out of here.' I thought, processing his words. 'He wasn't like me, he rarely lied, and his pride wouldn't allow him to escape a tricky situation by lying.
I thought long and hard, closing my eyes to focus on the particles, that seemed to have increased it's intensity. 'What could've caused all of this? Salan and the blue particles probably originated from one another. But why did so many people die by the second wave and why didn't it kill the rest of the humans too?' I only had questions, and no answers.
I had to do something, something that would get me out of here. My instincts told me that these particles were my key out of here.
I started to meditate again. While meditating I would try to bend the particles to my will, but to no avail. It was the only thing I could do, my body was pinned and I could only move my head to drink water in between meditation sessions. Three days passed and I started to hear and smell something weird, it was the grossest thing I had ever smelled. The smell made my already empty stomach churn. Thinking what it might be, I remembered that I wasn't buried under this rubble alone. The sound and smell was horrible, it was obvious what it was, but I didn't want to believe it. My parents' corpses were rotting and being eaten by maggots. It was a nashing and nibbling sound, dulled by the thick rubble. I threw up the water and acid that was in my stomach, leaving a slight itchy feeling in my throat. I held back my tears and memories of my beloved parents. 'They are really gone now..' I realized.
I tried to fight the stench by meditating, but each breath I took, the smell would make my stomach churn in disgust. I still managed to meditate, even if it wasn't for long because I was being permanently interrupted. After four days, the smell and the sound of maggots feasting on my parents was gone. It had almost been a week since I got trapped under all this rubble. If these blue particles never existed I think I would've already gone insane and bit my tongue off.
The wound on my hand didn't get infected and I could wipe away another way to die off of my imaginary list.
I spent even more time meditating, even shortening my breaks to mere minutes. If I were to meditate and bring my heart-rate to single digits, I could hold out for 3 months before my body-fat and muscle-mass would be used up causing my organs to fail.
From time to time my muscles would cramp and acid would build up in my stomach that caused hellish pain.
Everyday the blue particles would increase and I would wonder if anyone else was seeing the same particles as me. What were they trying to use it for? Survival, research or just curiosity? I even wondered if the particles could grant someone powers, like in movies or novels. When it comes to Salan and the blue particles, I have no idea what I'm looking at.
If the blue particles were to grant powers to humans, I wish I could make earth's gravity not as strong as it is.
***
A week past again, and I started to lose focus. I now had more room around me because I burned enough fat to make me thinner. I could feel my once numb body again. I felt more alive than ever and my motivation skyrocketed. All this made me believe more and more that a miracle would happen, that would get me out of here.
***
Hours, days, weeks. Time passed even if I didn't want it to. The more time passed the closer I came to death.
***
'Seems like I lost my sense of time.. Will I be here until I die? Are the blue particles really not something I made up to survive even a bit longer?' I asked myself with the last amount of energy I had. 'Was I.. doubting myself?' I wondered. My heartbeat became weaker and slower, organ failure was about to start in a day's time.
I shot my eyes open. "Me dying here? Don't be stupid! I could never die in a place like this! Blue particles you are now under my control!" I yelled with a raspy voice using the last bit of energy I had left.
The yell caused temporary hearing loss in both ears, and my vision blurred. The only thing I could sense and see was the blue particles.
"Come on! AAAH! Follow my order!" I yelled again. The blue particles gathered in my spine fusing with every nerve and blood vessel I had. I could feel a power surging within me, making me stronger, more durable and implanting a new instinct in myself. I controlled the blue particles to gather in the rubble above me, then snapped my fingers. I could feel the vibration of everything I had effected. Then I felt the weight on top of me decrease more and more, until I could focus on the blue particles again and this time I made them go into my muscles and bones relieving them of all the built-up fatigue. I stood up, punched and kicked the rubble away that weighed a fraction of what it weighed before.
I looked up and saw the moon.
"Seems like I won't die here after all." I said and broke out into the biggest laugh I ever had. I laughed hysterically, I laughed so much my stomach began to hurt. I felt intoxicated while the blue particles rushed into my spine, creating something like a core to store it. Nothing has ever made me feel that way, made me feel more alive and powerful.