Ignoring his response I head into my bedroom and look thoroughly at the shelves taking in everything. I need to get rid of many books that I don't like or no longer have an interest in finishing. I promised dad and don't need this taking all day to do especially on my day off. With or without my boyfriends help, it will get done. Jacob trails in afterwards and leans against the door frame. He looks at me and starts tapping his fingers on the door trying to get my attention. Looking over at him his face begins to pout. An obvious indicator that he is sorry for what he did. I don't buy it though. He's been doing this for years begging me for sex then acting like it never happened. It's so strange. I doubt the sex drive of an 18 year old male fresh out high school disappears overnight.
We met during Sophomore year in high school. I feel like the way we met was super cliche because me being the studious dork I was carried too many books at once while lugging around a giant overstuffed backpack. Someone bumps into me running down the hallway and there goes everything I was holding. Que Jacob coming to my rescue and helping me retrieve my things. It was more so like he was standing nearby with his friends when books were sent flying. Scattered papers as well. From there he continued to talk to me. Saying hi in the hallway as I passed by. Eventually he confessed his feelings for me and was happy that someone bumped into me. He said it helped him get over his fear and engage in a conversation with me. Apparently he was so nervous to talk to me that it turned into fear because of overthinking. He didn't want me to think ill of him or have a bad impression. I thought it was cute. Jacob really opened up to me and laid all of his feelings on the table. I actually didn't accept his feelings at first. I wanted to get to know what kind of person he was and go from there.
He respected that and waited all while charming me. I did eventually fall in love with him and we officially started dating in the middle of Junior year. He loved playing video games and geeking out over comic books with his friends. Turned out to be a real sweet guy ya know. He would tell me about his dreams of becoming a comic artist and showed me some of his drawings. Shared his collection of old school comics with me and I see where he drew his inspiration from. I thought it was super cool. I couldn't draw to save my life, but I always dreamt of him and me creating a comic together as time went on. It was a silly little dream, but one I would've liked to come true.
As we got older his parents had him try out for sports. It was this sort of compromise Jacob made with his father. If he wanted to continue to pursue art with his father's full support he had to play a sport. I thought it was stupid because why force your wants onto your child like that. Especially if it isn't what they want to do. His father wanted him to be a pro football player one day and Jacob went on to tell me how much he hated his father pushing this onto him. As much as he did not like it, he was very good. He received so much attention that he became the school's star linebacker.
Jacob still did art whenever he got the chance, but saw how much harder it would have been in life to get by with just that alone. Some of his friends were artists trying to get their name out there and from what he saw it never went to far. He didn't have any connections in the art world that he suddenly got with football and did not want to struggle making his dream come true. His progress with art was progressing slowly and it wasn't enough for him to continue. I always encouraged him telling him to never give up on his dream. It was eventually put on the back burner though. Art was quickly overshadowed with football. We graduated the same year and his future was sealed when he got a full scholarship to any college he wanted. At the rate he was going his life was made. Jacob promised to wait for me so we could go to the same college together. I was going to go with him too til' things went downhill for my dad. I didn't talk to him about college much after that. To this day he doesn't know that I won't be going. I feel bad seeing how he has been waiting, however he hasn't been upfront about his plans. I've asked him on some occasions if he has one he wants to attend, but either gives me an unsure answer or turns it around to see if I have one in mind.
We're both at a standstill since he hasn't done anything but pout.
"Jacob can you please help me? I'm not buying the sad boy act right now and I'd like to get this done before I meet up with the girls.
Come on eve you know that I'm sorry. You're so sexy and I can't help myself around you...Like what do you want me to say?
You told me you would wait til' I was ready."
Jacob used to respect my boundaries and wouldn't push me to do anything I didn't want to. He was actually a patient person once upon a time. He even promised he wouldn't be like those other guys that pressure their partner into sex. I'm 17 with my 18th birthday approaching fast. Before we graduated I didn't want to be another high school girl thinking it's cool to loose their virginity. All my friends would talk about sex often saying it's so good and "Omg you'll love your first time it feels amazing." Despite all this praise the people they had sex with never stayed in the picture long. They got what they wanted and I didn't want my first time to be so fleeting. So empty. I wanted it to mean something especially with the person I love. It always looked so passionate in movies and yea I get that they're acting, but even in books. The words authors used to convey such a moment of connection. Where they both felt as one. I wanted that.
It made me wonder if he was just getting tired of waiting so his "act" of being the perfect gentleman was fading. I love his silly side I do. He just... kept playing things off like it wasn't a big deal. Maybe I'm being too stubborn. I can't help wanting it to be perfect. Was I being impractical in wanting that for myself?