Chereads / Hero of Anima / Chapter 111 - My Motivation

Chapter 111 - My Motivation

The conversation ensued for a little bit longer, but nobody could find the answer. After all, it was a subjective thing that only each of us could give meaning to...

That was it...

I let three people go ahead of me with their explanations, then rose my hand again with confidence.

"The goal of humanity is whatever you want it to be," I told him.

"Why don't you explain that more for me." The teacher told me. That probably meant I was on the right track.

"Well... I want to do well in this class because I think it will make me happy. It will help my goal, my personal goal that I give substance. I can have my own motivation, and you can have your own motivation as well. Maybe they would intersect and make one of us sad, but that's not the goal of humanity. What the goal is to try to make sure that you can find your own goal, rather than search for it the entire time you're alive." I told him.

"So, you're saying, that if something bad happens to you, that it doesn't matter, so long as you have a goal set in mind? What if your goal changes?" He asked me again.

"Then so be it. Your goal will never stay the same. What's your goal, Mr. Klaus?" I asked the teacher. I didn't even know his name until I just said it... was that really his name?

"My goal is for somebody to answer my question. What's your goal, Anima?" He asked me. This was it. He was raising his eyebrows like this was the conclusion to his question, and I said the answer.

"To answer your question, Mr. Klaus," I told him.

And with that, he rose his finger and smiled widely.

"PERFECT ANSWER!" He said loudly. I thought the other classes would be disrupted by his volume, but as nothing happened, he made a circle on the chalkboard behind him.

"An infinite cycle. You represent humanity. Your goals are what humanity should follow. Each one of us has goals, and to fulfill those goals is to bring points to humanity. Every goal you make scores a point, as it works with everything." He explained.

"So, no homework?!" The jock yelled out while gripping his papers.

"Well... maybe you should keep doing yours, but no, Anima answered my question, so you all get extra credit and no more homework!" The teacher shouted out.

I was basically drowned in praise from everybody and thanked profusely.

"Anima saved us all! I don't have homework anymore!" The jock said, hugging me like I was his distant relative.

"Oh come on, it wasn't really that hard, your brain already works like that! That's why you feel the sense of accomplishment when you do something!" I told everybody. They nodded and just decided to thank me for getting rid of homework permanently.

But why am I seeing this? Is this supposed to help me? I feel that the life of humans I have control over aren't my goal...

But aren't they?

I guess in my irredeemable moment of weakness, I was only worried about saving others, rather than finding my motivation. That was my goal... but I lost what was the most important thing because of what I was feeling. I should be concerned about my life, to the degree that I can keep others alive, and also take care of myself accordingly.

This is confusing... did I really even learn anything here? It feels jumbled and slow, especially in school, what could I possibly learn while here...?

As I was crowded with everybody, I looked all around... and then I caught a set of eyes staring at me through the window on the door leading to the hallway.

Familiar eyes...

Really familiar eyes...

"I have to use the bathroom," I said, standing up, grabbing the hall pass, which hung on the pencil sharpener on a shelf by the door, and walked out.

"Hey, were you looking at me..." I came to a slow pause as my memory froze around me.

Destiny was standing in front of me.

She was the one peering into the dorm.

"What the hell? Hey, you're here?!" I yelled out to her, but she didn't answer. She was frozen, staring through the window.

"Hey, you can say something to me. Don't you remember me, Destiny?" I asked her. I tried shaking her as if she would respond... but she was truly frozen in time, just looking through the window.

What the hell...?

Was she really there? In my memory, when this event happened, was she here?

No... this must be Papiya's intervention. She's trying to deceive me. There must be a purpose or an evil intention behind seeing Destiny here.

This is all part of Papiya's game. There's something going on here that she's doing, trying to mess with me, trying to trap me in here. My goal is to find a way out. It's what I'm focused on right now, and I learned that from Mr. Klaus.

I covered my mouth.

No way...

I wanted to get out of here, but the timing of this memory was far too well. It was like a reason for this memory finally coming to fruition. There were reasons for everything I saw. And I mean everything.

Breakfast with Shima and Mom and the questions asked to further my thinking, and now this whole philosophical question, in my math class, which defined what goals are and how I should go about them.

This one is tricky... what is the point of this game?

Could it truly be to trap me?

I have absolutely no way of knowing what Papiya is thinking of... but I need to get out of here. I need to leave this memory. Should I use the door?

No...

I turned around from the bathroom and started walking toward Destiny once more.

I walked until time froze again, and when I got close, her face blurred out. As if she was trying to hide from me.

No... that's not accidental. That's on purpose. Because I would've recognized her had I been close enough. I remember her face, even in this memory game. I know who she is. But why is she blurred out?

I have far too many questions, and now that I'm alone with no real person from the outer world to help me, I had to solve this on my own.