I prop my chin in my palms while resting my elbows on the table and gaze out over the sea view from the second floor of the shack. Relaxed, and I'm tired today.
"Here we go, ladies." Bryant slides the plates in front of us, wearing a kitchen apron and looking domesticated today. He's been learning the ropes of working the kitchen with Greta and helping her cook because apparently he's a master chef, and it's been his hidden talent for years. She doesn't seem too enamored with him muscling into her domain, but she hasn't stopped him either. I wonder if this is him trying to infiltrate because he knows this is a long-term thing for him, and his future lies in helping with the shack.
"What is it?" Greta pipes up, gazing up at him across the table from me, and then picks up a fork to prod the pasta with suspicion. No one gives Bryant a hard time like she does, but it's amusing.
"Seafood pasta with garlic cream sauce. Dig in." Bryant is beaming and proud of himself, and I giggle under my breath at Greta's slight look of unimpressed as her lip curls up, and she settles down to try it. She hates anyone taking over her kitchen and banishing her upstairs to sit like this, yet he seems to be the only person who can give her orders that she obeys. She sure as hell never does anything I say.
We have been up here for over a half-hour while the menfolk lord downstairs with the twins' help and told us to rest our pretty selves. Girl time and I personally have zero complaints. My feet are sore, and I have no energy for today's hot kitchen or demanding customers.
The morning sickness is not as bad as that first, and I now know I am into the second month of pregnancy. Jyeon is still crazily over the top in cotton wrapping me even though it's been almost a week since it sunk in that I'm pregnant. We had a check-up and figured out it was most likely the drunken night that did this, not the recent non-protected sex. So I could say it's my fault for mauling him when being a wild and reckless nymphomaniac. I brought this on myself.
"You can leave, you know?" Greta glances up at her man and his insistent hovering over us to see if we appreciate his recipe and gets a shake of his head.
"You're really not going to give me feedback?" He eyeballs her, expecting a response and being met with deadpan disinterest.
"I will." I dig in, swirl up some pasta and a chunk of shrimp, and put it in my mouth to chew, aware of her eyes on me as she scowls. It melts in my mouth with a good chewy bite and hits a craving I didn't even know I was having. It's delicious and would make a great addition to the menu permanently.
"Are you meant to be eating that?" Greta asks with a furrowing brow, eyeballing me with a maternal scowl, pushing hers about to see what kinds of fish are in this concoction.
"Everything in it is pregnancy safe. Second checked by Mr. Park himself on google. So yeah, she can eat it….. it's good for her and the baby. Have some faith in us." Bryant tuts at Greta as though he's offended by her lack of trust, who just throws him a weird eyeroll and continues eating.
"It's gorgeous. I love it and don't worry about Miss. Grump. She's eating it like her stomach has been deprived, which is a sure sign she loves it." I smooth his ruffled feathers and shove Greta's foot under the table to warn her to stop being so off with this poor guy at times. She runs a fine line between hard to get and plain hostile sometimes, and Bryant will only take so much. I get that she has trust issues, but she doesn't give him an inch. It's like she's afraid to admit she is weak for him because then he'll use and abuse her before running off like every man that's gone there before.
"I know she likes it. And don't worry about us; she more than enough lets me know how she feels and what she likes when the lights are out." He winks at her and has the sense to saunter off before she launches her bowl at his head. Glaring at him as he makes his getaway at speed.
"He's a dick sometimes." Greta snaps after his departing figure.
"You're hard work sometimes." I retort and nudge her again because I can. She throws me a frown and continues eating her food and enjoying the quiet atmosphere up here.
It's a beautiful warm afternoon, and the sea is calm, with gulls flying in the blue sky above the harbor. Everyone is milling around down below with a peaceful aura, and the shack isn't overly busy today, so the second floor has a scattering of quiet patrons.
I like it.
"If I'm too soft, he'll think I like him and that I'm a pushover." She snorts and get's a smile from me.
"You are soft and a pushover….. and you do like him. I have seen your adoring gaze when he's not looking. Put him out of his misery already and admit he's your boyfriend, and he makes you all gooey inside." I smirk and see the waver in her expression and the timid chew off her lip. Greta sighs and pushes her fork around with an absentminded expression.
"I already did admit it to him….I guess we're official now, but he shouldn't be so smug about it. Don't say anything because I know…okay…..?.... I have my first real boyfriend in years."
I make a locking motion on my lips and pretend to throw away the key, unable to contain my grin at my beloved girl, finally tying Bryant in with the title of commitment. As loving and protective as she is of me, she's very standoffish and sometimes closed up with people. It's about time she stopped stringing him along, and he needs to know he won't be in for an easy ride. I have no doubts that she will have a long and satisfying relationship with him as long as she softens up a little and shows him more affection. Although Bryant is a weird one and a slight masochist, so maybe he likes it.
Jyeon appears at the top of the stairs, pulling us away from the topic, and heads our way, carrying two mugs in his hand for us, and smiles warmly as soon as his eye slock on mine. Like always, the mere sight is enough to give me warm flutters, and my mood improves dramatically. I miss him when he's out of sight.
I have no idea why the two of them have decided to take over the shack, but neither of us is really complaining. It's nice to sit and be served while soaking in the view and atmosphere, and it's not like I am allowed to do anything anymore. While waiting on the board to decide on the island refurb, I have had nothing to do.
"Hey, beautiful" Jyeon leans in and kisses me on the lips before sliding the mugs to the front of us, and I smell the rich aroma of hot chocolate wafting my way. I have been craving this daily all week, and he's the best at making it. "I missed you."
Jyeon slides down in the seat next to me and watches us eat for a few seconds before leaning back and exhaling heavily, slouching and propping his arm along behind me as a sign of relation.
"You not eating?" I nudge against him and offer a mouthful from my fork, but he shakes his head before sliding an arm along the back of my seat to cage me in from one side.
"Already did while helping the wannabe Wolfgang Puck in the kitchen and taste testing for him. I'm full."
"It's delicious. Just don't tell him I said so." Greta snorts and then goes back to stuffing her face. I think she's a little miffed that Bryant is as good as she is, maybe slightly better.
"Later, I have some things I want you to look at. Pictures from the estate agents in the city for a house near mom. And the land agent here has found a plot that he's hopeful we can purchase and gain permission to build a pretty good-sized lodge. About two miles from this spot." Jyeon tips his chin to gaze at me square in the eye. He has been in organization overload since finding out about our junior; he is so ecstatic and fine with it already while I am still in the throes of uneasy nervousness and trying to accept this is real and not a dream and unsure of what I genuinely feel. I think I am in shock mode and unable to process the fact there is a baby in my stomach while so much still hangs in the air. It doesn't feel real quite yet.
"Kay," I mumble, so honed in on eating and not caring about anything else right now. Lately, I have been starving.
Despite retaking our vows, having the boat as our home for now, and the island plan being pushed in motion, I feel like there is so much unfinished business hanging around us, and I don't know what it is. Maybe it's something that will pass once we have a proper brick-and-mortar home, and I get used to mother and Yoonah and OLO being a part of my life again. Maybe I need to know how everything will pan out with the island and OLO. I have no idea.
I'm glad in a way that Greta met Bryant because I feel less guilty about starting a life with Jyeon and no longer with her twenty-four-seven like before. I feel like I'm abandoning her now I got my husband back, and even though she says I'm not, I worry about not being with her as much as I was and bringing a baby into our dynamic when we both suffered a loss. Maybe Greta is part of my inability to settle.
Bryant seems to be smitten, and it doesn't look curable. I know he's a good guy despite his past playboy ways, and he never did me wrong and always watched out for me as much as Jyeon did when we were kids. I don't think I would be able to move out and think about a home and time in the city if she didn't have romance blossoming here.
I know he will take care of her and be her rock while I'm elsewhere, and I don't intend to disappear completely. I want to stay here when I can. My baby needs an aunt, and the islanders are the perfect warm environment to raise a child. Bryant will fill the void I leave behind and soften it.
"No protests?" Jyeon cocks his head to one side and lifts one brow.
"About what?" I stop chewing to eye him up and down, unsure why he thinks I would disagree.
"To anything I just said. Normally there's instant opposition, and then later, you soften and agree." He smirks, and I elbow him in the ribs for his cheekiness before pushing my empty plate away and hauling my cocoa towards me instead.
"Any news from the committee?" They have his cell number instead of mine, seeing as he's told everyone that he will be the contact from here on in. He's adamant I lift no fingers, exert no breath and live a pampered life while his heir grows in my belly.
We haven't even told Yoonie and mom yet because I want to wait until the twelve-week mark is over. Greta and Bryant are the only ones who know and are sworn to secrecy for now.
"The committee chair is calling me at eight tonight to tell us what changes if any, if they decide to go ahead."
"You think they will?" I ask unsurely; even though I pushed for two years to give this island this opportunity and cash injection, I have withering confidence in my own proposal and their willingness to let OLO take over construction.
"Yeah, it feels like it's a done deal, and we're only going through the formalities. Once we know for sure, I'll set up the first meeting for contracts and then…..we are going to the city for a week. I want to show you some houses there first because construction here will take longer than the remainder of your pregnancy, and I want us to have one home sorted and ready for our family."
"It's so soon." I begin to reject the idea, not wanting to bail on great already as it feels like it's all I do lately.
"Baby will come much sooner than you think if you don't get your finger out." Greta pipes in and throws me a stern frown. "Jyeon's right. You need to get things in order. Buying and building houses take time, and then you have to furnish and decorate while getting ready for the birth. Do it now. Relax once it's sorted. Stop stalling."
I give her an odd look, feeling emotional that she's siding with him and telling me to buy a house and get out of hers. I know it's not what she means, but it feels like it, and this is monumental. Even though we have been sleeping on the boat for a while now, I always thought of the shack as my home and still have half my things there. We eat most meals here and hang out on the second floor like our living room. We work here, socialize here, and at night, the four of us will hang out before retiring to our bedrooms in two different spots. It's saying goodbye to the place which saved me and gave me a whole other life.
"We need to start getting into a routine and making things more permanent, baby….. I need to think about the hours I spend at OLO, what you'll do there while fragile, and us coming back and forth. Right now, we're in vacation mode, and as much as I was fine with that being an extended period….I think we need some normal before we have junior. I want Yoonie and mom to be involved and for all of us to have regular time together before they come. I want it to be different this time."
Jyeon slides his hand in mine, and I know he's right. It's how I feel too. Nothing is settled or permanent, and everything is up in the air. I don't know what I am meant to do with my day anymore, as even the dynamic in the Tarry shack has changed, and Greta doesn't want me serving while carrying a baby. Everyone is ultra-sensitive to my losing one baby before full term, so they treat me like a fragile crystal and limit my activity. Even Bryant is being annoyingly overprotective.
Finding out I was pregnant added to the sense of free-falling and instability. Maybe a home, knowing my place in OLO, preparing for this kid I didn't even plan on, will help. Overseeing the island project when he lets me and doing more than sitting staring at the sea every day. Telling our family, finally. Perhaps I need all of that to tick off my imaginary list before I genuinely have a sense of belonging and being where I am meant to be. So it becomes real and not this strange sense of make-believe I am in right now.