"Well, can you explain why she's dead in the first place?" Greta cuts in, seeing that I'm somewhat distracted, and hauls her cell phone from her pocket to pull up a news article from two years ago declaring such. We agreed I needed answers as it was the catalyst to my never coming back.
Jyeon frowns at it, seemingly not shocked at this coming up, and then nods.
"Because we had to. My mother and brother were in a state of limbo, unable to function, and OLO was suffering. Stocks, shares, everything was unravelling around me. We fabricated a truth for the good of everyone, giving my family closure so they would put you to rest and move on, and the stocks would level up again. Meanwhile, we made the searches low-key and kept them off the radar. We never followed it through. The chief of police was well aware that there was no body and my reason for asking for it, he's a good friend. You've been a missing person for two full years and not officially dead at all. This is not about bringing you back from the deceased; it's about taking you from the missing list, Sohla."
He says it without skipping a beat. Like a rehearsed speech should anyone ever ask, and I don't even know whether to believe it or not. All I can see is him, and her looking all cosy in the hallway and want to ask him why his girlfriend is in this building.
"So, you didn't inherit everything that was mine after all? My death didn't benefit you in any way?" I snort out, hostility oozing from every pore and hating him so much more.
"No. Jyeon didn't inherit a thing. He had your assets frozen and your shares protected. He continued to pay your profits into an account he kept all these years. Sohla, trust me…. Jyeon has done everything to keep your place here, hoping one day he would find you again. He didn't even appoint a new VP in place of you. Your office has been sealed off for years. Yoonha acts as a temporary second in command." Bryant seems unable to fathom my apparent anger and upset. Yet none of it means anything, and it falls like empty words on deaf ears. I literally can't hold it in any longer. My jealousy, hatred and all that pent up heartbreak bubbles inside of me. I don't care if they just explained the news announcement back then or that I am still a rich bitch. I only care about what I saw.
"Who was the girl in the hallway, Jyeon?" Tears prick my eyes, and my voice wavers as it falls out of its own accord. I feel I'm having chest pain as I say it. No longer the ice-cold queen who would keep everything inside. "I saw a girl… and I knew her face. She's someone from my memories…." I clutch my heart as the pain intensifies and struggle to stay calm. Reminding myself not to blow this cover. Feeling Greta's worried glances my way.
"It's her, isn't it? The woman you threw me away for? The one you told me about. That's why it feels like this…. that's why when I saw her, I wanted to throw up." A tear rolls down my cheek, and Greta spins her head my way and gawps at me in shock. It's totally unscripted. Unsure if I'm acting or if this is an actual mental breakdown. She reaches out to touch me, but I shoot up, pushing my chair back so fast it topples over behind me.
"Sohla… I…" Jyeon seems flustered and hesitates. It's like the walls are coming in at me, and these anxious and suffocating feelings that had been building since I got here escalate to terrifying levels. Suddenly unable to stand the claustrophobic effect of this room. It's so hot my body flushes between sickly fever and ice, and my head throbs with the effort of trying to stay in control. My lungs crushed in on themselves.
"I can't breathe. I'm leaving." I feel like the room is caving in on me, and I'm having some sort of delayed panic attack as my entire life rolls into my head to torture me all over again. Repressed pain and emotions, all rushing back at me. That overwhelm threatens to choke me. It's like being caught back in time, experiencing it all over again and having him mess with my head these past few days, only to slap her in my face once more. He has no concept of how deeply these scars run. How much he broke me when he tossed me aside so coldly for that whore.
"Sohla, wait. Sohla." Jyeon follows me as I dart out of the room, waving Greta away not to follow me because I need to cool down and get a grip, but he catches me first. Jyeon hooks my arm from behind, a hand easily encircling my upper arm and attempting to manoeuvre me with him.
"Don't." I croak, the tears battling out and I can't get a hold of myself.
"I'm not letting you leave. Come with me." He pulls me with him with a slight force so I can't argue, across the hall to another room, and hauls me in the door without letting go. An empty smaller board room where he kicks the door closed behind us.
"I'm leaving. I don't feel well. Stop it. I'm dizzy." I try to pry his arm off, and yet he holds tighter, tugs me to the nearest chair and forcibly sits me down. My body is so heavy, and I'm drained to the point of exhaustion with trying hard to fight it. I close my eyes to block him out. My body is too weak for this as it's knocked the life out of me. Spiralling crazily.
"Are you okay? Do you want some water?" He's avoiding the questions, avoiding the accusations, and I push him away. Both hands used as balled fists to hit him in the shoulders, so he gets the message to leave me alone.
"I saw her…. I know who she is. I might forget some things but not the face of the bitch who ruined my life. How this feels. Don't ignore me… tell me the truth. It's her, isn't it?" I keep my eyes screwed shut and flinch as warm fingertips touch the tears which escape my eyes and roll down my cheek. His unexpected tender touch rips me in two, and I pull away.
I can't hold it in. Letting them loose and nursing the broken heart that was never healed but just pushed down far into my soul until he pulled back out of me again.
"Let me explain. I know how it looks. I didn't honestly think you would know who she was. I'm sorry, Sohla. I wouldn't have let you see her like this if I thought it would be this way. You being like this over her is killing me." Jyeon's voice is strained and low, like he's trying to keep calm. Mr in control, and yet there's a definite tense undertone.
"Why are you always sorry? Why are you doing this to me? Do you hear yourself right now? Just sign the divorce papers, go run off with your girl, and stop making my life this hard. I don't want anything from you, and this should be enough to see why. I don't need memories to know you've hurt me to the point where divorce is the only option." I move to get up, but he catches me by the waist and sits me back down. Thudding my ass on the plastic chair and caging me in.
"It's not what you think. There's nothing between us. I swear, Sohla…. Baby, please. She works for Biochem and liaises between our company and theirs in the R&D department. I couldn't exactly fire her for something I did wrong. This is all on me. Give me a chance, please." His tone is pleading, and he seems to be genuinely panicking. Calling me baby is like a stab wound to my chest, and I laugh at the use of something so alien for him where I'm concerned. I was never his baby, not once. He must be confusing me for her.
"I don't care. I'm leaving. Please let go. We're nothing, and you have no reason to explain…. Sign the papers and be done with this agony. Stop dragging it out, and let me go back to my life." I move to shove him off again, but he still hasn't let go from the first attempt and tightens his grip to keep me in place. Seemingly not convinced by my tearful show of extreme upset that what I'm saying is what I mean.
"Do you want me to have her tell you herself? Two years ago, I ended things but let her keep her job. I'll get her right now. I'll do whatever you need." Jyeon's eyes are on my face, and I can feel them searching me for a reaction as I turn away and focus my eyes on the far wall. Sniffing back my tears and hating that he's doing this.
Acting like someone who cares what I feel or think …the way he should have been as a husband the first time I ever raised concerns about that woman. Giving me something that would have meant so much more back then. He's two years too late.
"It's none of my business what you do or who you do it with. Please, I asked you to let me go. You're upsetting me." It seems to affect him that he's making me cry, making it worse, and he releases me from his hold and stands up to tower over me instead. Exhaling heavily yet doesn't give me space.
"You were gone… I didn't see a reason to send her away. She's good at her job. She tries to maintain a friendship, but nothing else. There's nothing there because she knows how hung up on you I've been these past two years. I was a mess, Sohla. Ask anyone. I slept in your office, drunk, every single day for two months, holding onto your picture and letting OLO fall apart. I cared about nothing except the fact I needed to find you. I spent a fortune in search parties for a full year and never stopped trying until they had nothing left to search. I couldn't accept that you were dead. I didn't want that to be my reality because you are a part of me that I can't let go of."
"Then why were the brakes cut and the steering messed up. Why did you leave your keys for me to take when the car was a death trap, and the only outcome would be my death? Why did you goad me into taking the car and tell me you never wanted to see me again ….? You pushed me down that path." I know it's a close admission to remembering, but it's also not. I could argue that I have that memory of the car not working and remembering the moments before my death. That the news said, I took my husband's car. He already accepted that fragment of Tia and the remembering Claire as natural; I don't think he'll blink at this.
It doesn't matter anyway because I have to know, with all of this, and this bullshit confession, that he did this to me. I'm sick of it circling inside my brain. Two years of this has kept me hiding my identity and living another life.
"What? What are you talking about? The car was fine…you…?" Jyeon seems confused, staring at me like I have two heads and squats back down to lift my hands in his. Enveloping them tightly and ignoring my attempts to tug them free. His whole attitude changed to one of quiet shock and a questioning expression.
"Sohla, are you saying someone deliberately tried to hurt you? That you remember clearly that the car was faulty, and you didn't try to kill yourself?" He spells it out slowly, the colour draining from his face and tightening with tension. He swallows hard, and it seems to calm my emotional hysteria. A creep of doubt at his reaction.
"Isn't that what you wanted? A wife gone so you could have your company and your lover?.... Because I could have taken it all away. Because you hated me. I didn't try to kill myself and end my life. You did." I pull my hands away, and Jyeon's face pales further, as though all his blood drains away as he takes in my words and shakes his head so slowly. He frowns so hard his brows knit in the middle, and his eyes glaze over with moisture. His expression is an undeniable show of confusion and innocence.
"I swear…. I would never hurt you like that. Sohla, I promise you. No matter how fucked up we were together, I would never try and kill you. It never crossed my mind, not once. I swear on Yoonah's life…. I never did anything to the car, and I never expected you to take it."