*Audra's point of view, 14 years ago*
We drove in silence; my mum explained the basics to me this morning when we had the call and then we got on the road relatively quickly. I could see she was in pain, but there was something more in her eyes aside from sadness.
My mum and I only had each other now, ever since dad died 3 years ago. We went through some pretty dark moments; my dad's illness, his long and dark last months and then - when my mum succumbed to depression afterwards - I had to be the one to be there for her and I was the one who pushed her into getting help. I had to put my pain aside and focus my strength on her, and I guess all that situation made me mature really fast.
I could see I was not like other teens, my mum said there is a wisdom in me that came from getting out of that black hole and – I don't know if she was right, but… - sometimes I felt like an adult on a teenage body. I had friends, but most of them weren't able to understand even half of what I had to go through since we found out dad had leukaemia when I was barely 11, so none of them was too close.
I needed some help of my own afterwards, but now we were both doing better and the mother-daughter bond between us only grew stronger. My mum was my best friend, and she was the only one I had left.
I spared a glance at her every now on then on the drive, I was worried. There's sometimes, since her depression, where I feel like I am the mum here. Even though she was doing much better, I was worried that this could send her back into that dark place.
I remembered the events of this morning.
I was coming down the stairs when I saw my mum glued to the phone, the colour completely drawn from her face and her expression shocked. 'Bad news'
I was concerned with what would have happened to leave my mum in such a state, but I knew I would have to wait till she finished her talk to ask her about it, as it seemed like a serious conversation that shouldn't be interrupted. It was bad news, I'm sure, but what? And from whom?
After all the things with my dad, we distanced ourselves from everyone, because no one really wanted to stay there when things got really ugly. You know who your friends really are in those dark moments. Even some of the neighbours were there for us more than my parent's so-called friends.
We were starting to let people in more lately, but still, no one could come to mind that could cause that reaction in my mum. Then, at the sound of her voice I lifted my gaze to her, all these thoughts suddenly vanished from my mind.
"Of course, I will, if that was her wish is the least I can do." Okay, this was starting to get weird.
"I'm gonna need directions to get there, we didn't keep much contact the last few years, for personal matters." Maybe it was one of my parents' old friends, but none that I remembered were as close as to having my mum shaking nervously like she was now. She was trying to hold a pen with her trembling hands to no avail, so I stepped closer to grab the pen myself and get a piece of paper, while making a signal with my hand for her to hand me the phone, I also signalled her to sit down on the couch. "Actually, would you mind giving the directions to my daughter while I lie down, I'm not feeling well. Thank you."
"Umm, hi, I'm Audra Myers, Diane's daughter." I wasn't really sure of what to say, as I was completely in the dark about this situation.
"Hello, Audra, this is James, Helene Miller's cousin. I was just giving your mum the news about her passing." His voice sounded really tired, but I can only imagine how hard it must be to call everyone with this kind of news after your own loss. I'm trying to remember who Helene was, her name was so familiar yet I couldn't place it at the moment. Then he continued "I'm gonna give you the addresses and the directions to where the funeral would take place and also a couple of phone numbers in case you need to contact us, alright?"
"Alright." I took the notes, making sure I didn't miss anything and putting aside the millions of questions I had at that moment, this seemed important.
After offering my condolences and thanking him I hanged up. I walked to the couch where my mum was sitting still, shock in her eyes still and hugged her as I sat by her.
"Who is Helene mum? Her name is familiar, but I can't seem to remember…" I asked softly.
"Helene, oh poor Helene…. Y-you don't really remember her?" Se looked up at me, and finally, her shocked expression turned into sorrow and tears started to fill her eyes.
As I hugged her again, pulling her to me it finally dawned on me. Helene. Mum's best friend from high school and college, they were inseparable back then and mum used to talk about her all the time. How could I forget?
"Yes, I do remember her now." I simply answered.
Maybe because since dad illness my mum hasn't talked much of her, now that I think about it… I thought they lost contact. That could be it.
My mum was too sad to talk, so I didn't ask any questions – for now – and I simply stayed there for her.
After she calmed down a bit she asked me if I could go and pack a small bag for me and her with the basics, as she said that we might need to stay a couple of days, we needed to get on the road as soon as possible. So, I did, still without asking anything. I also changed into something more comfortable, but black, as we were going directly to the funeral, it was all a bit short notice.
"Audra?" My mom called from the stairs.
"Yeah?"
"Please go to my wardrobe and grab the big suitcase, bring it downstairs when you finish. Empty." Weird, why would we need a big suitcase? "I'm making some tea, we need to talk a bit before we go."
I knew something was going on. I hurried and finished packing, it didn't take me too long.
When I came downstairs and put both the travel bag and the suitcase by the door and I saw my mom waiting for me at my dad's bench outside. Yes, definitely something serious.
"Sit down, honey." She sounded calmer now, she waited for me to do so and then she handed me my mug.
"I can see there's something going on mum, you can talk to me."
"I know, baby. But I needed some time to process things myself." She sipped a bit of tea after blowing on it, and then she kept going. "I haven't heard from Helene in more than 2 years, last time we talked I was in such a dark hole that I barely paid attention to her. I remember she told me she was moving, and that she would send me her details after they settled, maybe even meet. As I said, being in the situation we were in back then, I never realised she never got to contact me again."
"And you never tried to reach her?" It seemed strange that my mum would completely forget about her, especially after recovering.
"Well, yeah… Just not very successfully." She stayed silent for a minute, sipping his tea again. "The thing is, baby girl, that we promised that we always would protect each other – I guess I failed at that – but there is another promise we made that I'm not planning on breaking. And I want to ask you to please be understanding."
"It's alright ma, you can tell me."
"You see, when you were little and she lived near we used to have playdates for you and Helene's son. Do you remember Chris?"
"Uhh, not really, no… I barely can recall Helene's face, and what I do is probably from photos."
"Yeah, you were both really little, I didn't think you would…. Well, one day, while watching you both, we promised each other that if anything were to happen to any of us, the other would take care of its children, as any of us had any close relatives left."
"So you're saying…"
"Chris is alone now, yes. And there's a letter from Helene where she asks me to take care of him. You understand, right? I need to do this, I can't leave that boy alone."
"Wow, I wasn't expecting that." That was all I could muster. I felt sorry for this boy, really, I did, I understood what he was going through, but still… He was a perfect stranger.
"I do." I finally agreed.
And now, he was going to be my brother.