My eyes were drawn to the end of the aisle where Fu Shao stood.
His tall and imposing in his black suit and vest with the silver tie and the white shirt. His groomsmen were dressed in a vest and dress pants of a lighter black, and wore no jacket and a bowtie instead of a tie.
Su Liang, my little brother was one of them, with only 8 height much shorter than the men.
My father tugged me along and my legs seemed to carry me on their own accord as my body shook with nerves. I tried not to look at groom and instead watched Qina and Qinli from the corner of my eye.
They were the first two bridesmaids and seeing them gave me the strength to hold my head high and not bolt for the outside.
White rose petals covered my path and were squashed under my shoes. Kind of symbolic in itself, though I was sure it wasn't meant to be.
The walk took forever and yet it was over too soon.
Fu Shao extended his hand, palm upwards. My father gripped the corners of my veil and lifted it, then he handed my hand over to him, whose blacken eyes seemed to burn up with an emotion I couldn't place.
Could he feel me shaking? I didn't meet his gaze.
The priest in his white greeted us, then the guests, before he began his opening prayer. As I tried not to pass out and only Fu Shao grip was the one thing keeping me focused.
So I had to be strong. When the priest finally came to the closing lines of the marriage, my legs could barely hold me up.
He announced the rite of marriage and the guests all rose from their chairs.
"Fu Shao and Shen Mi," the priest addressed us.
"Have you come here freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each other in marriage? Will you love and honour each other as man and wife for the rest of your lives?"
Lying was a sin, but so was killing. This room breathed sin.
"Yes," He said in his deep voice, and a moment later my own 'yes' followed.
It came out firm.
"Since it is your intention to enter into marriage, join your right hands, and declare your consent before God."
Fu Shao clasped my hands. His were hot against my cold skin.
We faced each other and I had no choice but to look up into his eyes.
He spoke first.
"I'm, Fu Shao is take you, Su Shen Mi, to be my wife. And I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honour you only all the days of my life."
How sweet the lies sounded from his mouth. I recited the words expected of me and the priest blessed our rings.
He picked up my ring off the red cushion. My fingers shook like leaves in the breeze as I raised them, my heartbeat hummingbird quick.
His strong hand was firm and steady as he took mine.
"Shen Mi, take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father, and God," He slipped the ring onto my finger.