"They all have blood on their hands. Every single person in the garden."
"Don't curse."
"Really? A lady doesn't curse," Qina mimicked our Father's voice.
"Where did it get you to behave like an obedient little lady?"
I looked away. She was right as it had brought me straight into the arms of one of the deadliest men in the country.
"I'm sorry," Qina whispered.
"I didn't mean it."
I linked our fingers.
"I know. And you are right. Most of the people in the garden have blood on their hands and would deserve to die, but they are our family, the only one we got. And there are innocents like our little brother, Su Liang there."
"Su Liang will have blood on his hands soon enough," Qina said bitterly.
"He'll become a killer little brother."
I didn't deny it as my youngest little brother would start his initiation process at 12th. If what Martial Zhen had said was true, Fu Shao had killed his first man at 11th.
"But he's innocent now, and there are other children out there as well, and women."
Qina fixed me with a hard look in the mirror.
"Do you really believe that one of us is innocent?"
Being born into our world meant being born with blood on your hands. With every breath we took, sin was engraved deeper into our skin. Born in blood. Sworn in blood like the motto of this great empire.
"No."
She smiled grimly. Qinli walked over to the bed and picked up my veil attached to the headpiece. So I bent my knees so she could fix it atop my head. She gently smoothed it out.
"I wish you were marrying for love. I wish we could giggle about your wedding night. I wish you didn't look so sad, big sister," Qina said fiercely.
The silence between us stretched. Qinli eventually nodded toward the bed.
"Is this where you'll sleep tonight?"
My throat tightened.
"No, Fu Shao and I will spend the night in the master bedroom."
I didn't think I'd get much, if any, sleep.
A knock sounded and I squared my shoulders, putting on my outside face.
Zuli and Man Lin sis stepped in, followed by mother.
"Shen Mi, you are gorgeous. Your hair looks like spun gold," Man Lin sis said.
She was already wearing her bridesmaid dress and the colour looked gorgeous with her dark hair.
So, only unmarried women were allowed to be bridesmaids but my Uncle had insisted we make an exemption for Man Lin sis. He was really keen to find a new husband for her.
As Zuli wore a floor-length nude dress with long sleeves, despite the summer heat. It was probably meant to hide how thin she'd gotten.
I forced a smile. Mother took Qinli arm.
"Come on, Qina, your cousins need to talk to your big sister."
She led Qinli out of the room, then looked back at Qina who sat cross-legged on the sofa.
"Qina?"
She ignored her.
"I'm staying. I won't leave bug sister alone."
Mother knew better than to argue with my sister when she was in a mood and so she closed the door.
"What are you supposed to talk to me about?"
"Your wedding night," Man Lin Sis said with an apologetic smile.