It was not Chu Wanning's first time seeing Mo Ran and Shi Mei link hands. And yet when Mo Ran dragged the gentle beauty with him to approach him and Xue Meng, Chu Wanning still felt stuffy inside his chest. Thanks to his shorter body, the linked hands were at the same height as his eyes. His eyes felt hot immediately, so he averted his gaze.
That was a huge mistake.
His eyes just had to land on the handle of Mo Ran's saber, which was also engraved with two characters.
Mingjing.
Mingjing from Shi Mingjing.
Mo Ran and Xue Meng might be throwing jabs at each other again, but Chu Wanning could not hear a single word. His body felt numb from head to toe.
In two lifetimes, what pain had Chu Wanning not endured? He had been stabbed, slashed, left to bleed to his death. He had had his self-esteem and dignity trampled to the ground. He had had to endure ten years of humiliation and torture in Mo Ran's hands. He had had to see a lot of people die, their souls screaming at him, blaming him for raising such a dangerous wolf. He had had to hear Mo Ran blaming him thousands of times for Shi Mei's death.
And yet, all of those past pain combined could not measure up to what he was feeling at that time. If someone had come up and ripped his tiny body to pieces, he might not have minded much. As long as he could unsee, forget what he had just seen.
That saber was a gift from him to Mo Ran. It was a token of his goodwill, so to say a peace offering. Chu Wanning was never good with his words. He did not want Mo Ran to think too badly of him in this lifetime. He did not want Mo Ran to think that he was partial toward Xue Meng. Although the sabers could not be used against each other, they were still high-quality weapons worthy of above-average cultivators.
And Mo Ran? He had, so casually, named it after Shi Mei.
The chest did not feel stuffy anymore. A sharp pain spread from Chu Wanning's heart to his chest and made him dizzy.
Maybe it was payback.
He still remembered in his past life when Mo Ran approached him one day after Shi Mei's death, bringing the saber he got from Jincheng Lake. Mo Ran had asked Chu Wanning to release the seal on the saber. He had openly told Chu Wanning that he wanted to name the saber after Shi Mei.
Chu Wanning was still recovering from the Heavenly Rift incident, so at that time he did not have enough spiritual power to unseal the saber. Mo Ran left with eyes full of disappointment.
Even after Chu Wanning recovered his power, he never even once offered to unseal the saber for Mo Ran. It was because he did not want that saber to be named after Shi Mei.
Yes, he was selfish like that.
In the end, two people who were fated to be together would be together. In the past life, Mo Ran hoped to have a saber named after Shi Mei by his side while he plundered from town to town, but in this lifetime, Mo Ran could be happy with not only a weapon that bore Shi Mei's name, but he also had the real Shi Mei by his side.
Mo Ran had found his happiness.
Chu Wanning as his Shizun should be happy for him.
Was this not what he wanted?
This was in line with his plans all along.
So why was it that he was not happy at all? Why did he feel pain in every cell of his body?
Chu Wanning glanced up at Shi Mei.
What a beautiful person Shi Mei was. There was not a single thing about him that was not enchanting to the senses. He was a compassionate person with a pleasant temperament, his voice as gentle and alluring as drizzle in the spring season. Chu Wanning knew no one who disliked Shi Mei. Even Xue Meng liked Shi Mei.
What did he, Chu Wanning, have to offer?
He was so outclassed that he was not even in the race to win Mo Ran's heart. What was he kidding himself about?
And Shi Mei, he looked genuinely happy. When he smiled at Mo Ran, his eyes shone with happiness and love and his cheeks were colored pink. Chu Wanning could see the same warm feelings in Mo Ran's eyes and the gentleness with which he held onto Shi Mei's hands. The emotional connection between them was so strong. No one could get between them without getting burned.
Warm tears slowly fell from Chu Wanning's eyes, which had lost their usual piercing gaze.
"Xia Shidi?"
Xue Meng's call snapped Chu Wanning back into reality.
"What happened?" Xue Meng asked, genuinely concerned for this little Shidi who suddenly began to cry.
"Just… dust," Chu Wanning lied and started to rub at his eyes.
He did not use to lie.
He disliked hearing lies and disliked telling lies even more. This time, he had to lie to protect what was remaining of his broken heart. Chu Wanning did not even know who he was anymore. Of so many people that the aloof, cold Yuheng Elder could fall for, he had to fall for this… rogue disciple whose heart already belonged to someone else. In the whole wide world, only one person could rip his heart into pieces, and he did it by loving someone else. Since when was it a sin to love someone else? Although Mo Ran's love for Shi Mei caused him pain, Mo Ran could not do anything about it. Chu Wanning just had to move on.
A pair of gentle hands touched Chu Wanning's cheeks, followed by a familiar voice.
"Little Shidi, let me take a look."
Chu Wanning opened his eyes and looked into Shi Mei's concerned eyes.
"If you keep rubbing like that, your eyes will become redder. Oh look, they are red already. Does it hurt a lot?"
Chu Wanning nodded slightly.
It hurt. It really hurt.
"Come, Gege will take you to eat some sweets," Mo Ran coaxed, stretching his hand out toward Chu Wanning. The handle of the saber inched closer to the little boy, and he inadvertently shrunk and went to hide behind Xue Meng.
Mo Ran, "…"
Xue Meng, "You dog, you scare our Shidi!"
Mo Ran was good-mooded, so he did not bother to fight with Xue Meng. His hand went to rub at Chu Wanning's head. The latter flinched like a scared kitten when Mo Ran touched him.
"My bad, my bad. Look, it is time for dinner. Why don't we go down to Wuchang Town for dinner together? My treat."
"No," Chu Wanning quickly said. "I am not hungry."
Xue Meng frowned.
"How can you not be hungry? We even skipped lunch!"
"I, I am not hungry," Chu Wanning repeated. "I want to go back."
He wanted to escape, but Mo Ran grabbed the back of his collar.
"Waaaait a minute. Shidi, you are too shy, hm? You are already the youngest in Sisheng Peak. You should mingle with other people, don't lock yourself up in Red Lotus Pavilion."
With our Shizun, Mo Ran said in his heart.
"Let me go," Chu Wanning begged with a tiny voice. He was desperate to get away, but the helpless expression coupled with the tiny body of a child only served to make him look like an adorable child that wanted to be spoiled by his elder brothers.
Poor Chu Wanning was thus picked up by Mo Ran and hauled on his shoulder like a potato sack. The group marched in the direction of Wuchang Town to have some dinner. Chu Wanning even dug into Mo Ran's shoulder out of spite, but Mo Ran did not mind his kitten-like claws at all.