I slept on the sofa that night. Taejun seemed to have forgotten that we used to sleep on the floor, because he seemed apologetic that I had to do so. He had set up the second room in his apartment to be a small home office, but he promised that he would move the office into his room so we could set it up to be a bedroom.
Despite the comfort of the sofa, I was unable to sleep well that night. Thoughts of my parents and Mr. Do kept reminding me how I had just disappeared and left them all high and dry. The guilt of not reaching back to contact anyone kept me from sleeping soundly. Even in my sleep, I heard their accusing voices demanding an explanation.
I was already used to waking up pretty early, but because I couldnt sleep I just got up and restlessly wandered the apartment. Again I looked into the empty fridge in disappointment. I really wanted to go out to get some groceries but I didn't know the code to the door yet and if I left I'd have to wait for Taejun to let me in. Oh, and I didn't exactly have any money, either.
I settled for making coffee. I had expected to struggle with figuring out how to use the coffee machine but it was actually fairly simple. Taejun had one of those fancy espresso machines that made it cup by cup. Inefficient, but I supposed he did live by himself and didn't need to make it by the pot. I had never had a "kapuchino" before, so I decided to select that option.
It was fairly bitter. At first glance, I thought it would be sweet because it looked so frothy and enticing. I couldn't find any sugar so I suffered through half of the cup before setting it aside.
I searched Taejun's apartment for a phone to call Mr. Do with. But he didn't seem to have one. I really had no idea what to do with myself. Cheekily I decided to watch the tv. Hopefully the noise would wake Taejun and he'd come out.
My plan worked flawlessly. As I flicked through the channels, Taejun emerged from the bedroom. He was rumpled from sleep and his usually perfect hair was smushed awkwardly where it had been pressed against the pillow. He rubbed his eyes blearily as I cheerily wished him a good morning.
"You're up early," he groaned. He walked into the kitchen and made himself something from the espresso machine. "How'd you sleep?"
"Ok," I lied.
"That's good." Taejun saw the cup I had abandoned heartlessly. He commented, "So you figured out the espresso machine."
"It wasn't hard."
"What did you make?" He retrieved his own cup, now finished, and sat down next to me.
"A kapuchino. What is it? It's super bitter." I picked up my cup again and attempted to finish it. This time I got a mouthful of foam.
He snorted. "Espresso with steamed milk. Did you stir it properly?"
I thought the machine would have done that. "No."
"Then you were probably drinking straight espresso," he laughed. I made a face. I definitely preferred regular coffee.
"Can I borrow your phone?"
"Who are you calling?" my brother asked suspiciously.
"My boss? I can't just disappear on him." That seemed to be an acceptable answer for Taejun. He pulled out his cellphone and handed it to me.
I felt a little uncomfortable making a call right next to him, so I moved away into the kitchen. It was a reasonable hour and Mr. Do lived above his shop, so he should be awake. I dialed his number and waited.
"DHC Car Service, how can I help you?" Mr Do must already be in the shop.
"Do Hoon-nim? It's me, Baek Jaehyun." I was a bit nervous that he might start yelling at me for not showing up yesterday.
"Jaehyun! We missed you yesterday. Did you have a good rest?" Mr. Do seemed surprisingly nonchalant about my disappearance yesterday. I belatedly remembered him urging me to rest at home over the next few days.
"Ah… I wasn't at home actually ," I said sheepishly. I lowered my voice in case Taejun was listening. "I went to Busan to go find my brother."
"Busan! I tell you to rest and you traipse all the way to Busan?" Despite his initial Echols, Mr Do was obviously curious about what had happened. "Did Taejun reach out? I thought you two had lost contact. Do you need a few more days off?"
"No." It answered both questions. "I wanted to find him after… I was actually calling to apologize for not showing up yesterday. Should I come in today?"
"Aren't you in Busan?"
"No…" I dropped my voice even lower. "I'm in Inner Seoul. He's actually been here for a while."
"Mwo?! How long has he been there? You didn't know?" Mr Do was just as shocked as I had been yesterday.
I glanced over to my brother to see if he could hear what I was saying. He seemed to be watching the news while finishing his coffee. I moved a little further away anyways. "No, I didn't. But anyways, I'm staying with him now. It's a bit further away but I can still come down today to work." I usually started at nine, and it was only about an hour of public transit between Inner and Outer Seoul. I could still make it if I left soon.
He was silent, digesting the information I had just shoved on him. "No. Take the day off. I think you probably need some time with your brother. Consider the last two days PTO."
I thanked him profusely. He really didn't need to do that. "Jaehyun-a! It's fine. You've never taken any PTO. But tomorrow come back," he added with insincere sternness. "It's busy and you're my best guy."
I really wasn't, but I grinned at the compliment anyways. "Yes sir." I bid him farewell.
I walked back into the living room (though it was kind of all the same room) to hand Taejun's phone back to him.
"Do Hoon-nim says I can get the day off."
He was probably a little sleepy still because at first he didn't say anything in reply. But he seemed to wake up a bit more after another sip of coffee. "Oh, good. That means we can go to the bank and get you a phone."
"Eh? Don't you have to work today?"
"It's Sunday. I don't work on the weekends." Despite saying so, the moment I had given back his phone he had begun typing away to someone.
"You don't? I thought the NIS were vigilant 24/7."
Taejun laughed. "I'm still just a grunt. I can have weekends."
"Aren't the banks closed on Sunday? And also I don't have money for a phone." It hurt to admit it but it was true.
"Not in Inner Seoul. They're open all week. As for the phone, you can have my old phone. I kept it as a backup. And I'll just add you to my cellular data plan." He got up. "Alright, I'm going to get ready."
I thought it was amusing that I used to get his hand-me-down clothes and now I was getting his hand-me-down phone. Maybe it wasn't so bad being the youngest.
He really took his sweet time getting ready. I wonder how early he had to wake up everyday to get to work on time. As I waited I watched a drama idly on the tv. It felt odd having nothing to do in the morning, even for a time as short as this.
The plot seemed contrived and the conversations were unrealistic, but the main actress was beautiful, and pathetic as it was, I ended up staying on the channel just to watch her. I had never had time to think about girls, and there weren't any of my age in my immediate social circle. The last "interaction" I'd had with one was the street racer girl in the Eclipse.
"Are you seriously watching this?" I hadn't been thinking any particularly lewd thoughts but I still nearly jumped out of my skin at the sound of Taejoon's voice.
He looked at my flustered face and broke into a grin. "Don't tell me you've fallen in love with Kim Jinhee."
"Who?"
He gestured at the now teary eyed actress on screen. "The actress you were ogling."
I grabbed the remote and flicked the tv off quickly. "I really wasn't."
"Yeah of course not," he grinned, as we left to run those errands.
—
Opening the bank account went so smoothly I cursed myself for never trying to do so before. The biggest bump was when they asked if we would be making an initial deposit. I said no, Taejun said yes.
Despite my protests, the banker (greedy bastard) colluded with Taejun in overruling me. I sat glumly as he deposited three million won into "my" account.
"They pay you too much at your job," I snarked at Taejun. It was the only resistance I could put up against their temporary alliance, but they both laughed.
At the cellular provider shop, I just cluelessly watched Taejun negotiate with the sales representative until at last he turned and put the phone in my hand.
A few clothing shops ("You need some clothes of your own," said Taejun) later, we finally stopped to get a late lunch from a takeaway.
A takeaway was a relatively cheap option but I was reminded of his empty fridge and pantry and asked, "You really don't cook much, huh."
"I'm usually too busy," he replied. Even through lunch he was glued to his phone.
I knew it was probably a work thing but I remembered his teasing from this morning and decided to return the favor. "Your girlfriend?"
He looked at me, unfazed. He knew I was trying to get back at him. "Nah. My boss."
"I thought you said you didn't work weekends."
"Not officially I don't," he replied, returning to his typing. I returned my focus to finishing my lunch, but not too long after he spoke up again. "Jae, do you really think it's a good idea to go back to working for Do Hoon-ssi?"
"Why wouldn't I?" I was perplexed by the question. "It's pretty common to commute between Inner and Outer Seoul."
"It's not that. I was thinking more of Dad going to find you there."
"I doubt he would." I winced as I remembered what happened the last (and only) time our father had come to the shop. "Besides, I'm not planning to go no contact with Ma like you did."
A dark look passed over Taejun's face. "Jaehyun, you better not—"
"If you don't want them to know you're back in Seoul, fine. I'll tell them I'm with a friend or something. But I've been paying rent for them for the last few years and I can't just leave them without warning like this," I said hotly.
"Isn't that what you were planning on doing when you went to Busan?" He shot back. His words hit me like a punch to the gut. It had been, but I had been overwhelmed that day, and made the decision to do so rashly. For a few moments I couldn't think of a reply.
"Yeah well, that was a mistake. Unlike you, I make mistakes." I felt hot headed again and started to stand up.
Taejun grabbed me by the sleeve before I could. "Aish, sit down. Where are you planning on going? You have a bad habit of running away when you're overwhelmed."
He had been gone almost 6 years and he still knew things about me that I didn't. I swallowed my hurt pride and sat back down. I glared at my feet.
"We were just talking, ok? I just want to make sure you're making smart plans for your future." When he was certain I wasn't about to take off again, he let me go.
I jerked my arm back. "I guess my future is to work until I die trying to pay off Dad's debt," I said hotly.
"Well that's a shitty plan," Taejun growled. "When will you decide that's enough? When you're 85 and still breaking your back for him? Why do you even feel like you owe it to that bindae saeggi? When has he ever treated you like a son instead of a walking ATM?"
I gaped at him for his blatant disrespect towards our father. It was pretty clear that Taejun had stopped thinking of him as a father a long time ago.
I stuttered angrily trying to reply. "Even if he's a shit father, our mother is also involved. She doesn't deserve to be sold off by Han Jungho because of Dad's mistakes."
Taejun exhaled sharply and angrily. He was definitely upset that we didn't see eye to eye in regards to our parents.
"You could help too, you know," I added angrily.
"Even I can't make enough money to fix his mistakes," he snapped. "Besides, you know I cut ties to our dad long ago. What mother should have done. What you should do."
We sat there in angry silence over our half finished lunches. Both of us had lost our appetites. We couldn't make the other understand our personal reasonings.
"Fine," he acceded sullenly. "I guess having their main source of income disappear overnight would put them in a difficult place. But you have to promise me that you'll break them off eventually."
I didn't really want to, but I grumbled a promise.
He glared at me knowingly. I felt small as a kid again under those fierce eyes. "You have a bank account now, so just transfer less money to them gradually. You're an adult now, so they need to learn that you have to think of your own livelihood."
I gave him a half assed, "Ok." He continued to burn me with his glare for a minute longer until he decided I was cooked through. "Alright, you done eating? Let's go home."
-
At the door Taejun stopped. "I haven't told you the code for the door yet, huh? Well, it'll be easy enough for you to remember. It's 100131." He typed it in slowly as he stated the number. The lock beeped happily and clicked open.
"That's my birthday," I said in surprise.
"I know," he replied.