I felt so sad that my emotions took a ride before me and got me into the oceans.

I struggled, till my lungs couldn't feel air anymore, I just stood there and do nothing, I couldn't touch, I couldn't cry, I could only breathe when I have a single chance, like a bell dismissal for lunch, I felt some 30 seconds rush of heartbeat, and that's was my escape point, but time again, I kept on giving up all my chances, I could hear laughter mocking me and I felt like revenging but happiness seems so far away, I could hear myself trying to call out to it, but it doesn't want to come, Some folks kept looking at me, like a stranger who is a tight companion struggling to cross the road but could only stood still and say bye to the past.

The fight to live, to breathe, to be understood, to be happy kept on loosing on the battle field, I felt like a loser, like a pawn to sadness, like a slave to my emotions.

I walk 12 miles a day to think, think about my world, think about school, think about death, yes death is always the dude on my mind, it sticks around the deepest part of the ocean, calling me, it gives me good reasons to want to join him, he promises me peace and freedom, but when I take an inch close to it for a minute, I feel fear tapping my back, I also see family wailing from the banks of the ocean, when I turn left I see God, in white robes, giving me that weird stare, but death still kept on calling me, he said "ignore the waters and come, you will be fine, you've got nothing but me now."

I breathe for 2 hours in my head, because every second, sounds like hours that is ticking, continuously, I looked at death and I smiled and decided to be with him, he was cute though, he had this long curly hair and a beautiful 6 pack muscles, with a fierce red eye that I couldn't resist, I just wanted to touch his hands and feel calmness, but my heart kept on racing as I moved towards him, I could hear some background noise, shouts, but I didn't care as I kept on moving towards the deepest part of the ocean, God kept on looking at the left, but I didn't want to care.

As I get closer to death, I felt breathe coming out of me going towards the heavens, it felt a bit nice, but pain was there, stricken through my nostrils, I felt submerged by deep waters and lay down to sleep away forever.

Bye Mom, bye dad, bye sister, bye brother, bye friends, bye world, don't act like you miss me, because only few tears and everything will go back to normal, that was my last thoughts as the deep waves welcomed me.

Death wanted to throw a feast for me, but I got a strong fist holding on to me, I felt dragged out of a dungeon, and been put on someone's shoulder, then I felt like I was on a tractor, but the tractor was running so fast, that I started gasping water out of my stomach to my mouth and to the ground, everything seem so blurred, then I could hear wheels, running too quick, after a few seconds, some little pin was pierced into my hands, everything was happening so fast, I could hear cries, What was going on?

I couldn't see death anymore, why?, after a while, I slept like a baby, and saw my long-lost Euodia, I used to love her as a kid, she was the only toy who was always listening, till she broke my heart and got broken, I despised her, I despised the dream and I had to wake up, it was a weird dream.

Waking up to the faces and looks of people who think I'm a coward was the next scene I had to face, Mum, Dad, and those weird siblings of mine kept on acting as if I was the world biggest failure, Mum won't stop wailing and touching my head, Dad could only give that weird sad Stare, while death shook his head and gave that angry look on a man's face who hated his wife for weird reasons.

Then the part I hated the most was when everyone realized that I wasn't dead and started the whole hypocritical drama, I heard judgments, blames, accusations, and a lot of weird words that I couldn't comprehend, What is wrong with these people?