My days were lonely, even this pain I didn't end up with. I don't care about Bagas who contacted me many times. Even the thousands of messages he sent were read without anything I read.
"Honey, are you awake? Why didn't you reply?" was sent at 5:30 a.m.
"Honey, have you eaten? I'm here to miss you so much!" was sent at noon.
"Reza, honey why didn't you answer your phone? Are you busy?" Posted at 9 p.m.
Those were some of the messages Bagas sent me. There wasn't the slightest bit of anger or upset from the many messages that came into my phone. That man was the same guy I've known all along.
I got my bike out of the house. Understandably this house is a maskawin gift from Bagas so there is no garage available yet. The plan as time goes on, this Bagas gift house will be renovated even better. Unfortunately because it was hindered by the cost of our wedding which was quite draining Bagas Savings, the plan we had to postpone for a while.
Greng! Greng! Greng!
The man who was riding the trail stopped in the yard. Somehow seeing the figure that was descending the motorcycle made my body seem to limp helplessly. I'd love to run and hug the body of the man who is now smiling at me. However, my heart was broken again considering that the man had deceived me completely with his lies.
"Honey, why are you silent?" The man dropped his embrace on my tiny body. Then showered my face with the kiss he used to do.
Bagas pulled his body then noticed my sullen face.
The man then led me to sit on the porch chair of the house.
"What happened to you, baby?" he asked, sitting at my feet.
I didn't budge, I was still so upset with him. Because the thing I hate most in life is when I'm lied to.
"Don't you miss me?" he said, looking fixedly at my face, which was still to see it.
"Where are you from?" he said, I looked at the black iris perched on both of Bagas' eyeballs sharply.
"Didn't I tell you, if I'm in Blora again, baby!" The man replied to my gaze warmly. There wasn't the slightest lie I found in his gaze. And clearly, the man was camouflaging his words.
"You're lying!" I raised my tone by an octave. Made the man stand up from his place and be surprised.
"Don't scream like that? Shame on people. How about we just talk inside?" asked Bagas to pull up my one arm still holding the helmet.
"No, now you answer honestly, where did you from?" I reduced the volume of my voice so much that it sounded so cold. Not for a second did I see the man standing in front of me holding my wrist.
"Okay, okay, I'll answer. But we're talking inside!" The man still continued to coax me and gently pulled my arm into the house.
I blew Bagas' handrails loose. Soon I rose with the anger that I still poured into the house. Then I blew my ass roughly sitting on the living room sofa chair.
The man can be seen gently rubbing his forehead that is wet with sweat then taking a deep breath by exhaling it slowly. Then he sat back in front of me.
"Honey, I'm sorry if I had to lie to you. I'm not going to Blora, because the task will only start next month. Yesterday I went to Purwodadi, my mother said she was sick again, so I rushed there," Bagas explained.
For a moment I fell my gaze at the man who kept showing me his face. I noticed the movement of his eyeballs, there was not the slightest change in the black eye that still continued to stare at me.
"Really?" my said flatly. I still don't fully believe Bagas' words.
"Yes, baby! So I have to get my mom treated first and then I can come back here. I'm sorry, who doesn't know you because I don't want to trouble you, baby!" said Bagas, whose face looked so sad.
"What's the sick mother, honey?" he asked, but somehow my heart still found it hard to accept that explanation.
"My mother's heart is ripe again!" The man looked at me bitterly, I rubbed the black curls that were now immersed in my lap.
Eight years I knew Bagas, he was the son of a poor widow in Purwodadi. His father had been dead since Bagas was 4 years old. The strangeness of an excruciating life makes the man persistently fight for his ideals to make his mother happy. That's the life story of Bagas that I know.
"Honey I want to propose to you!" he said at that time when I was an honoree teacher at a private high school in bojonegoro area.
"What?" I was so surprised by his words at the time.
"My mom is very sick, baby, she wants us to get married soon." The brown man's face looked bad.
"Bagas didn't I already say, I don't want to get married if I haven't been appointed as a civil servant!"
"Honey, I'm sure my income is still enough to finance our lives later. So you don't have to pursue your career!" urged Bagas who was not yet a foreman of the peasantry.
"You mean?" I made my eyes not accept. How could I possibly marry a man whose income did not necessarily meet my needs?
"My father's a principal, my mom's a doctor and you asked me just to be a housewife, like that?"
"Not baby, not so. I mean we got married first after that you can still continue your career again. I have no intention of limiting you, baby!" Bagas' voice sounded faintly.
"My mom just wants us to get married, she's afraid that her life isn't long anymore, baby!" A puddle of dew had drenched Bagas' eye. But at that time I was still with my ego, standing by my decision. There was not the slightest bit of pity for the man who was bowed down beside me and begged me to be his companion.
"If you want to marry me, wait until I have been appointed as a civil servant, then build a house for me because I don't want to live with your mother, my parents or live in a rental house," my said rudely.
I left the man who kept his face down. It didn't matter if he was crying or hurt by what I said.
-----
I lived my life normally as before. Bagas' reasoning makes a lot of sense. After the rejection of his proposal at that time made my mother-in-law must be very disappointed. His attitude that used to be so kind and dear to me changed drastically since the incident. The very old woman was more silent and didn't talk to me too much, sometimes showing a face that didn't like it in front of me. Until the time of our wedding day which was held very luxuriously none of the Bagas family came, even my mother-in-law.
I used to nag Bagas about his mother's changing attitude to me, but the man just kept quiet. The most important thing for him is to always obey me. Maybe because our relationship was not very good made Bagas not convey about his mother's problems to me.
"That's Bagas' uniform!" I said, grabbing the green perhutani uniform that I thought was missing, apparently among the piles of clothes at the very bottom.
I examined one by one each bag of clothes to make sure that there was no important item left behind. My hand stopped when I entered Bagas' green shirt pocket. A piece of paper was tucked into it and I grabbed it.
I threw away the paper just about any, but my eyes stopped when I read a name visible on the paper that looked like the note.
[HUSADA HOSPITAL]
PAYMENT REPORT
[YASMIN]
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CONTINUED....