This is the first time I have arrived in a hotel room, smiling and jumped into a bed without looking at it and wondering why I am not at home in my cozy bed, and my comfortable pajamas.
Today, I feel good, I love it.
It's like I have accomplished something good, my biggest accomplishment ever. Even if some people say their accomplishment is building a house or buying a car or land or getting a new job, for me, seeing my sister today was an accomplishment.
Even if the circumstances were bad, at least I was closer to her. It wasn't as when I had gone to see Stephanie Perry.
I felt bad yes because my beloved sister didn't see me, but that doesn't matter. What matters is, I recognize her. I know her. I am there for her, always.
Okay, not that always, because like now I am not sure what that man was doing to her. I feel bad for Tesla, she looked tired and sad and I guess it is from that man's stupid temper, and I can imagine he always shouts at Tesla.
The next time I will be watching over Tesla Perry, if I see him even looking at Tesla in the wrong way, I swear I will scratch him or even pull the teeth out of his mouth if that would make him stop talking at my sister like that.
"My sister," I say it and I liked it.
Or, "My sister Tesla." This is way better because I can feel her name on my lips. "Tesla."
My sisters have helped increase the number of people I love. I can't count for those who love me back because the number is what is like three or is four. And maybe my employees, funny how I am thinking about that.
I am not sure if they love me, but the way they normally talk about my dad as being the great C.E.O, I am sure some of employees love me because an apple doesn't fall far away from the trees.
I wish they would know how far my tree was, and I wasn't even the apple.
"Stop Brenda, you are not even understanding yourself," I tell myself and go back to count my circle.
My inner circle had my mother, my father, myself, and Belinda.
Belinda?
I am not sure about that, but maybe just maybe.
Because over the years she has become like one of my family members and sometimes I wonder after she is done with her therapy with my mother, gets better, and finally forget about my brother, will she still see me as her light or she will forget me.
Anyways, my circle is as small as that and I like it that way because that means my little fragile heart, oh I mean my zero heart is free.
If I start caring about people, other people. Like many people, and care for them it won't turn out well for me. I will always want to protect them, and that will mean I will have to know where they are, what they are doing, and things like that.
I am not selfish; I am being realistic here. I also have other things I have to handle, I am running our company, and I have me, plus my sisters, and Belinda, and also a small part of me still hold on to the coming back of my brother, Brandon.
There, you, see?
I have no room.
The reminder of Brandon makes me stand and go to the bathroom, as I seat on the toilet seat, I try to think of Tesla's cute smile, and just like that, I forgot about my brother.
"Brother, don't be mad I will be back for you tomorrow," I say and look around the bathroom.
I see a red slipper near a bathtub and it reminds me of Tesla's lipstick and how good it looked on her. I find myself smiling, just thinking of Tesla's smile and I promise myself to look at the smile deeper, so as I can know for sure that the smile was showing everyone was real.
It will help me as I will be sure that even if her 'babe' isn't good, my gorgeous sister still loves doing her job.
If I find out that the smile was not real and she was super stressed because of that guy, I will ruin his life.
I shake my head to remove that guy from my head, so far so good I don't want to think about anyone else other than Tesla, I want to stay in my happy little bubble just thinking of her.
I miss Stephanie Perry too, and I have to wait, her time will come soon, again.
This is good, I wish this would be my always day in the day. I stand up from the toilet and seat and headed to the bedroom, and I sat on the bed and unlock my phone, the first thing I see is my mother's texts and they are all in capital.
"ARE YOU OKAY?"
"BRENDA REPLY TO THE TEXTS."
"BRENDA PICK THE PHONE."
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
"BRENDA KEYS."
I call my mother and she picks up as soon as I call, she doesn't even wait for it to ring twice.
"Brenda, are you okay? Hun," My mother says and calls my father.
"Hi sweety, are you okay?" my father signs and I give them a big smile.
"Okay, you are scaring us, Brenda." My father signs and I ask them why they are saying that.
"Your smile sweety, who is there?" my mother asks smiling devilishly.
"Mother, is it a must for someone to be here for me to smile?" I asked my mother still smiling.
My mother looked at my father and smiled, then they all looked at me, a big smile on their face, and then they signed at once, "You see. This is why." Then they pointed each other.
I laugh at that, and tell them, "Dear parents, I am doing well, you don't have to be worried."
"Okay then, next time pick your phone sweety. Your mother was getting scared a little bit."
"A little bit dad? I have gotten more than twenty texts."
"Yes, that is how your mother is, I remember this day, she…"
"Guys I am right here. Sweety, let's leave you if you are busy, talk in the morning?" My mother said and I bid them goodnight.
I didn't even order any food, and I slept with a smile plaster on my face.
A big one.