"This is not what I had in mind Belinda; you were supposed to begin first with…"
I was in my office and Belinda had arrived to show me the job I had given her to do, she was working in the Keys Company.
"Brenda I am sorry," Belinda tells me with tears glistening in her eyes, looking at her I wish I could scream.
Her tears were beginning to be a pain in my ass but I can't tell her that.
"Seriously you gotta suck it up, I am hurting too but are you seeing me crying? No. This is work you need to stop shedding tears in front of me and get the hell out of office." This is what I am thinking but instead, I tell her.
"Bel, is everything alright? Didn't you understand when I was training you?"
Belinda looks at me and nods her head, seriously I have been training her forever. What is she a drum head?
I had employed her to work with me after she had quit her job. Belinda was a police officer and after my brother went missing, she decided to quit her job as she kept saying how the police had disappointed her.
But it was true how can Brandon just miss like that without the police finding any clue, any lead.
If I was Belinda I would have quit too.
I had accepted her in the company because I didn't want her to go the road I was seeing her going, she was becoming depressed and I didn't want that.
At the time I had started training her I had one thing in mind; saving my brother's girl from falling into a depression so that when he comes back he was going to find her well both physically and mentally strong.
But damn it! How wrong was I?
I am not complaining but Belinda was becoming a nuisance to me and I wanted to ask her to look for another passion and purpose as I had found for myself.
If I hadn't found that purpose to watch over my sisters, I am sure I too by now would have gone mad from thinking about my beloved brother, Brandon.
The company was doing well and I was trying to launch a website which by the look of things it wasn't going to be anytime soon. Belinda had asked me to assign it to her, and like a good boss and a good friend, I had given it to her.
If I had said no, I am sure Bel would have eaten me alive.
At first, I had asked my employee to train her but after some time Belinda came back and asked me to give her somebody else to train her, we kept on doing that till I decided to train her myself.
Every employee I asked to train Bel came to me with a different reason as to why they wouldn't continue training her and I wasn't going to force anyone to train her if they didn't want to
And I knew the reason why she was how she was, so as a good friend I brought her under my wing but now my wing is broken and I don't think I can continue.
I hand her a handkerchief which she blew her nose with and said thanks, what am I supposed to tell her now? I have two options but I can't decide which line to use.
"Princess don't cry."
Or.
"Big girls cry."
If I go with line one, Belinda will see me as cruel and if I go with the second one I am sure she was going to bawl her eyes out.
I hate it.
"It's been three years Bel, you need to stop crying whenever you find anything difficult," I tell her, yes this one seems well enough.
"I know, it's just that if he was here, he would have helped me. No! If he was here we wouldn't be here right now, I would have been in the police station right now and you would be where?"
Looking at Belinda I start thinking of how right she is.
If my brother was here I wasn't going to be here working maybe just visiting. My plan wasn't to be the C.E.O of our company, this was my parents' company and my father was the one who would have been in this office right now.
After a year of trying to search for Brandon with no luck, my dad decided to prepare me to take over the company, I wouldn't have said no to him. Even though therapy hadn't worked for me I was seeing things clearly, and at that time I saw my father struggling with the company as well as his passion work as a photographer.
Every morning I woke up and I always found him with Brandon's pictures, Brandon was his favorite subject and my dad had so many pictures of him.
My mother had her way of dealing with Brandon going missing and if it was possible I would have taken over her tv station and asked her to give me her patients so I could continue to be their therapist.
But that wouldn't have worked because one I wasn't certified and two at that time, I am sure just listening to anyone's problem I would have cried out loud, and then the patient would have turned out to be my therapist.
That one I am sure would have trended all over the internet.
"Why are you staring at me like that?" Belinda signed.
"Oh, nothing sweetie, have you been seeing my mother lately?" I asked her.
"Yes, I will come by tomorrow for our session."
My mother had agreed to be Belinda's therapist and I don't even want to think how that was going, what were they even talking about?
I am hoping it's not always about Brandon.
"I am sure you think I am stupid; I am sorry Brenda. I promise I will do better the next time."
"No, don't say that. I understand. I will do it." I tell Brenda and look at the watch on the wall, which made Belinda think I was staring at it because of her presence in my office.
"Oh, I am keeping you here and you are busy. I am sorry Brenda." Belinda said and hugged me.
"Belinda, boundaries remember?" I tell her.
"Oh, come on. There is no boundary for me. And by the way where were you this morning?" Belinda signed smiling.
Why I was still Belinda's best friend was still a mystery to me, she was so intrusive and even if I kept telling her she needed to stop, it has been falling on deaf ears.
There was no way I was going to answer her that, and it has been like that. I taught myself not to answer any of her questions so most of the time when she ask me I shrug and other times I just smile.
Not answering any of her questions gave me an upper hand. After all, how was I supposed to tell her, "This morning? Oh you see I was stalking my sister."
No way!