Friday, 27th. March. 2015
I woke to lips softly kissing mine. The warmth of our naked bodies huddled together under the blanket.
"Morning sweetheart," Tae's voice vibrates against my lips between soft pecks. It runs through my body which is encased under his leg. The warmth and softness of his skin slides over mine. The intimacy, laced with sleepiness. It was like a dream.
"Tae, is this real?" My head was so cloudy, I could barely believe it. But the ache between my legs made it even more real. He gave a small laugh and pulled away.
"I don't know, is it? Should we check? If I pinch you, you're supposed to wake up, right?" A smirk curled at the corner of his lip and his hands glide down my back to grope my ass, his dick twitching against my stomach where it pressed between us.
"Tae wait, no," I breathed out, but he turned to lie on his back, hoisting me with ease on top of him.
"No? You know that's not how this works" Tae nuzzled his face to my cheek, his breath tickling me.
"But… I'm still sore from last night" I buried my face into the crevice of his neck to hide my fluster from the pieces that came back to me.
"Aw. Okay, rest then. I have to get to rehearsals too. Even if I wanted to, I don't have the time. Guess your cute lil pus will have to wait a bit longer for me," I felt his hand slip from my ass down. He slowly dipped a finger in me teasingly. I was already wet, so it went in with ease.
"Nooo" I whined, worried that if he started we wouldn't be able to stop. It had been like that last night.
"Fuck, you're right. I need to stop. I just can't believe how wet my baby is, hm" My body quivered on top of him, those deep words reaching straight to my core.
I could feel him smirking into my hair, so I reached down and pinched his nipple for revenge. He gave a small ouch before gently shifting on his side. I slid off him and back onto the cushions of the couch that we'd fallen asleep on.
"Aren't you going to be late?" I asked, peering back up at him. He gave a sigh and sat up.
"Yeah. I have to get ready" Tae leaned down and kissed me on the forehead before crawling out of our comfortable little spot. There was an empty feeling next to me as I watched him walk naked over to his bag and grab it for a shower.
He was so tall and sexy. His dark hair and muscular body enchanted me so much that I couldn't look away. The flawless shape of his ass as he walked off to the bathroom. I fell back into my pillow as the sound of the shower started. My head slowly spins like I was on a merry-go-round. I was having trouble catching one thought as they whizzed past.
It wasn't long before Tae had finished and was about to go. He kissed me one more time before leaving. I could tell he was in a bit of a hurry.
Now that I was alone, I threw on an oversized shirt and went to grab a glass of water. I could feel a headache coming on, but that wasn't all. A very specific memory came to mind.
One that had plagued me for a long time. It had crossed my mind just before I'd fallen asleep last night.
Tae was the person who came to visit me at the hospital. The picture was becoming more clear. His sad eyes as he sat beside me on that bench.
What did I say to him? I'm sure I didn't know who he was. I'd asked him.. Who he was.
His answer was as clear as day.
'I'm your best friend, Tae-Hyung'
My heart ached, my head pounded. But I couldn't stop them now. Like opening a floodgate, they came crashing through.
Again and again, he came to see me. Every time I asked him the same thing. I couldn't remember him. And every time, it was like his heart was breaking piece by piece.
Until… the last time he came. The last memory I have of him. Tears welled in those deep brown eyes as he apologised.
'It's my fault you're here. I can't come and see you anymore'
His words echoed, tears spilt. My heart hurts. It hurts so much.
Tae. What's your fault? Why did you leave? How is this protecting me? And from what?
My head thumps hard. I kneel over, pressing my forehead to the cold marble of the countertop. I need to calm myself down. My head might explode if I get too worked up.
I give up on even trying to go to class today and instead, make my way to my medicine stash and grab two sleeping pills hoping it'll relax me and stop any anxiety.
I take them, crawl back under the blanket on the couch where Tae and I had lay. The lingering sentiments helped calm me as I clutched my head. My headache eventually subsided, and I became so drowsy. No thoughts came to me. My muscles lay limp.
The smell of Tae was on the pillow where my nose was. Every time I inhaled, I could smell him. Like I was lying on top of him again. His arms are around me. Time slowed down. I closed my eyes.
___________________________________
Nothingness.
In the distance, faint orange and red glowers, flickers as it dances. Slowly, it grows taller, reaching up high. Crackling amidst the silence. The charred smell became stronger, filling my lungs.
Warmth surrounds me, the flames follow. It's heating, scorching me. I snap open my eyes. It's not a dream.
Everything is dark, but I'm surrounded by fire. Hot, crackling dangerously. My apartment is smoldering down around me. The walls, the floor, are crumbling.
The smoke sets my lungs ablaze with every panic filled breath. I try to stand, but my body is so heavy. I can barely move.
Get out. Get out. Get out NOW. With one desperate push, I fall off the edge and on to the floor.
Fuck. I'm going to die. Right now, I am going to die. I'm so scared. I can't breathe. I'm burning, but I can't move.
I jolt as a loud crack sounds over the roaring of the wood burning and crashing around me.
"JIA, ARE YOU HERE?!" Someone's yelling my name. I make out a silhouette through the blur of my tears and the heavy smoke in the air. It's getting closer.
"Jia, fuck. Quick, give me your arms," my heart thumps as I see a blurry Yoongi reaching down to me and I throw my arms up.
"Yoongi" I cough harshly. It hurts. He lifts me up in his arms. I've never felt so relieved in my entire life as he held me.
"Close your eyes and breath into my shirt," Yoongi instructed. I nodded and burrowed my face into him, shielding me from the stinging of the smoke and flames. I felt Yoongi move, but I couldn't see a thing. My heart was racing, panic crawling over every inch of my hot skin.
Soon enough, I felt the cool of the night air replace it. The bouncing of his stride felt like we'd reached the bottom of the stairs. He held me tightly, firmly, right up until the moment I felt him sit down.
"Jia, it's okay now. You're safe." His voice was hoarse, from the smoke or from emotion I couldn't tell. I coughed again, still feeling the sting of the smoke in my lungs.
As we sat there, the crackle and commotion of people off the street drowned out and all I could focus on was Yoongi's breaths. The horrors of the red and orange flames taunted me. I've never been so terrified in my life. I was still in shock. The sound of sirens blared. They were getting louder.
I finally lifted my head to see, across the road, a crowd of people surrounding the building of my apartment. The entire thing was being engulfed in the night's blaze. Yoongi turned his face to me. It was so close. I could see the reflection of the orange flames on his face, his eyes dark, but filled with torment.
"Jia, are you alright? Are you hurt anywhere?" He murmured. Face only inches from mine. The commotion seemed to fade into the background. I gave a small nod, not feeling anything that stood out. There was only him.
"I think so.. I don't know. I'm just-" I shivered. Yoongi looked down to see I was still in an oversized shirt. I hadn't even realised in all the chaos and neither had he.
"We should get out of here. Just wait for a second. I need to talk to the firefighters first. I'll be right back, just wait here," Yoongi gently helped me off his lap and down on the step we'd been sitting on.
I wrapped my arms around myself and huddled my knees close as I watched him run across the street to talk to one of the emergency services. I watched as they used the massive water hoses to try to douse the flames.
Seeing everything I had burned in front of my eyes like this was something I couldn't comprehend. It was beyond my wildest imagination. Yet, that's what I was seeing.
An emptiness filled me. Was this really… real?
I was pulled from my trance as Yoongi came back across the street.
"Okay, let's go. Can you stand?" He asked, coming to a halt from his jog as he reached my side and knelt down.
"I'll try," I said, carefully attempting to put weight on my feet, but they trembled and I fell back on my butt.
"Don't worry. I've got you, come here," Yoongi spoke softly, gently opening his arms to me. As though offering me the safest place in the world. I wanted to cry, but I swallowed it down and wrapped my arms around his shoulder.
"That's it, good girl" Yoongi hoisted me up into his arms with ease, soothing words in my ear as he carried me down the street. "It's going to be okay, Jia. I've got you, baby girl."
My mind was blank as he walked, stroking my hair. The buildings passed by in a blur. It wasn't until we reached the agency that I snapped back into reality. Soon enough we were out the front of his studio door.
Once he entered, he placed me carefully down on the desk chair. I felt numb. Still unable to process any of this. I sat in silence.
Yoongi went and turned on a dim light before folding out his couch into a bed and grabbing some sheets and clothes from a cupboard.
He came back over to me and stopped in front of me before kneeling down to my level.
"Jia, do you want me to help you clean up and get changed? You look completely out of it" Yoongi asked. I looked down at myself to see that I had black marks all over my arms and legs and that I smelled strongly of burnt wood.
"Yeah, please. Sorry, I'm just still in shock." I let out a deep breath, forcing myself to be present in the moment with him.
"Don't apologise. Just let me take care of you. Okay?" Yoongi waited attentively until I gave a small nod. As soon as I did, he smiled faintly before gently reaching down to pick up my ankle.
I watched absentmindedly as he used some oversized wet wipes to wipe the soot off my legs. They'd become black and then he'd pull a few more and keep gently wiping further up, but stopped at my knee and did the other leg, too.
It wasn't until he reached my thighs that he peered up at me. Our eyes met as he slowly traced the soothing fabric higher. I quivered at the feeling of being cold from the wetness.
"Nearly done. I have something warm you can change into after this," Yoongi said, carefully spreading my thighs apart so he could get the last, but as he did, I felt a sting and I winced. He pulled away.
"Yoongi, I think I hurt myself," I mumbled, pulling up the shirt a little to reveal the inside of my thigh. Sure enough, there was a red scratch there.
"Can I see?" Yoongi asked. I spread my legs further so that he could check. He licked at the corner of his mouth as he inspected it.
"Should be fine, doesn't look too serious." He glanced a reassuring, pursed smile up at me from between my thighs.
"Oh.." I mumbled. He noticed my hesitation.
"Or would it help if I kissed it better?" Yoongi glinted in light bemusement as he lingered between my legs, waiting for a response.
"Maybe," I replied with a small smile. The soft way he always cared for me. Was there anything Yoongi couldn't heal? I wondered as he leaned in and placed a gentle kiss to my scratch. The sting was doused by the flutter of my heart as his lips touched my bare skin.
"Better?" Yoongi asked as he slowly raised his head, gaze flickering back up to meet mine from between my spread thighs. Come to think of it, he could probably see my underwear so clearly right now.
"Yea, feels better.. Yoongi" I whispered, and he cracked an amused smirk.
"Hm? You're so out of it.. What're you thinking?" He asked, still being careful to avoid my scratch. Glancing up at me and between my legs where he was cleaning.
"Mm. I- I'm flashing you right now so.." I mumbled, wait, why did I just tell him that?
"Yeah, you are. Pink suits you." Yoongi suppressed a smile. I felt my face heat. I wanted to snap my legs shut, but after another second, he was done and stood up.
"Alright, take that off. I've got a fresh one here" Yoongi sat on the side of the bed and threw his shirt at me, which I caught.
He looked away at the wall, and, seeing as he'd just had a view of my underwear for a good five minutes, I didn't really see a point in making him turn around. So, I lifted off the shirt I was wearing and quickly slipped on the new one. It smelled like tangerines and cinnamon.
"Thanks Yoongi…" I fiddled with my palms in my lap as he looked back to me.
"Mm. I need to call the others and let them know what's going on. I'll be back soon. You should get into bed and try to relax" Yoongi sat there, hands clasped together as he spoke. I gave a small nod, so once he got up and went out to call the others, I took his advice.
First, I wiped down the rest of my arms and face, then slipped into the foldout bed he'd made. The doona he used was thick and felt like clouds. It was so comfortable.
My mind slowly worked again, as though coming out of hibernation. I lay there for what seemed like an eternity as reality set in.
Revelations hit me.
Everything had just burned to the ground. And I'd nearly died.
Yoongi had saved me from the skin of my teeth. Again.
How did the fire even start? Before that, I'd taken some sleeping pills for a headache. It must've really knocked me unconscious.
But was it merely coincidence he was there? That's one hell of a coincidence
What had he come over for in the first place?
Why had the place burned down?
Was everything ruined?
Was there anything salvageable?
What was I going to do? I had nowhere to stay? All my school work was destroyed? My clothes?
A million thoughts overtook. And none with answers. I wished my mind would go back to being blank. It scared me that another headache would come on.
The door creaked open. I peered up over the blanket to see Jimin quietly enter and Yoongi after him.
"Jimin? Is that you?" I asked. He turned and looked over at me.
"Jia, you're awake? Are you alright?" He spoke softly, but his voice cracked as he came and sat on the edge of the bed. I felt like crying when he gazed at me with such tenderness and worry.
"I'm okay, I think. I honestly don't know" I shuffled and sat up.
"Don't stress yourself out. Just try to relax" Yoongi had come around the other end and nudged me to move over, so I did. I noticed he'd changed into pyjamas as he crawled in next to me.
"Aw. Yoongi-Hyung's right. It's going to be alright, try not to worry about it right now… we can figure it out in the morning.." Jimin shifted, laying down beside me and patting the pillow for me to lay down with them.
"Mm.. there isn't anything I can do right now so.." I felt a knot form at the base of my throat. I tried to swallow it down, but it hurt as I shuffled down to lie down.
"It's okay to cry in front of us. Don't hold it in." Jimin pulled my face into his chest as he noticed me struggling. I clung to his shirt to muffle my sobs. The thought of it was just so overwhelming.
I'd lost everything. I did not know what I was supposed to do.
There were only my sobs in the silence between us as we lay together. I felt Yoongi close in from behind and rub my back. Jimin placed a soft kiss to my head as he held my face to his chest.
They wrapped me in their warmth as we snuggled up together. And even though we didn't talk, I knew what they were saying. That they were going to help me through this.. and I wasn't alone.