Sunday, 1st. March. 2015
Finally, all the stress building up to the big move to Seoul had come to rest. I'd arrived on Friday and spent the weekend unpacking and setting up my things into my new studio apartment. It was small but very close to the University, across the street to be exact.
But, the best part, by far, was that there was a Starbucks right next door to the building my studio was on the top floor of. All I had to do was go down the stairs that lead to a back ally, turn onto the street and bam, it was right there. For an avid coffee lover such as myself it was a dream come true and I already knew I'd be spending a lot of my free time there.
On my travels here I'd been amazed by the city, it was just as wondrous as I'd imagined. Part of me couldn't come to terms with the fact I couldn't remember such a fascinating place. It only pushed me to want to know more, to try and find the lost pieces to my memories. The missing moments of my life. And now that I was here, maybe I could.
My earlier thoughts of coffee had sparked a craving I could no longer ignore, so, I grabbed some writing stationary and made my way down the metal stairs and out of the alleyway to go and indulge in a icy cold treat.
Luckily, I'd just missed the lunch rush so it was quiet and most of the tables were free which made for easy pickings. After ordering an Iced Macchiato I chose a spot tucked away in a cosy corner.
The only other person nearby was a young guy with dark blonde hair. He was immersed in the book he was reading, the intellectual aura he emitted was captivating. I spent an extra moment as I sat down, noting the title of the book in his hand. Then, as though sensing my gaze, he glanced up, brown dragon-like eyes connecting directly with my own. Panic hit me.
I quickly looked away, hoping he didn't think I was some kind of weirdo for staring. I carefully took out my notepad and pens then laid them on the table. But, for some reason I couldn't help but to glance up again. As I did, it was like the roles had been revered and he was the one to duck behind the cover of his book to hide.
I don't know if I'd imagined it but, the way he looked at me for that small moment resembled the way Jin had looked at me when we bumped into each other. It was an expression I couldn't quite decipher, shock perhaps? It left me feeling confused. I'd never gotten that kind of reaction before… it wasn't your everyday shock either. Remnants of something else lingered.
I discard my wayward thoughts, put my headphones in and get busy with writing. The new atmosphere of the city was doing wonders for my inspiration so, I took the opportunity and let my pen flow perfectly across the light beige paper.
Every now and again I felt as though eyes were on me but I didn't let myself get distracted. The staccato of my flow while I wrote was almost too good to be true, but, as though fate had other plans, my pen ran out of ink. I let out a small sigh of frustration, giving up on trying to scribble the ink out of my pen and put it down on the page of my notepad. I felt one of my earphones being pulled out of my ear.
"I have a spare, you can have it if you want," A smooth deep voice completely took me by surprise. I took out my other earphone and looked up to see that my awkward staring partner from across the table was standing beside me, hand out offering me a pen. It was even black, the only colour I write with.
"Is that really okay…" I hesitated, searching his gaze but his eyes merely smiled lightly.
"Of course, I have a million pens. Besides, it looked like you were in the zone just now. Would be a shame if you lost your momentum all because you ran out of ink." He reached down to my side and grabbed my hand, pulling it up to place the pen in my open palm.
"Thankyou… That's really nice of you," I felt a warm flush at the kindness of his gesture.
"Oh don't mention it, just one writer helping out another," he gave a close eyed smile that showed off the most perfect pair of dimples. It was frazzling me to no ends, but, what interested me more was the mention of writing.
"Ah, you write too?" I gave a shy laugh as I asked. Trying to keep my light fluster at bay but failing miserably, I could already feel my cheeks tingling the more time I spent under his lingering hazel gaze.
"Yeah, mostly lyrics these days. But, I dabble in all sorts of artistic ventures," he replied. When he mentioned he wrote lyrics my intrigue peaked but, before I had the chance to ask more he glanced down at his watch and sighed.
"I'm sorry, I need to go. But, I come to this Starbucks pretty often so, hopefully I'll see you around." His smile turned almost… sad…
"Yeah sure, I live next door so I'm sure I'll see you again soon" I smiled before giving the pen in my hand a little wiggle, "also, Thankyou for the pen. You're a life saver."
"If only," the words came from him quickly, he lingered for another moment before, smiling lightly, saying goodbye and going on his way. If only?
I don't know why but, the seemingly innocent encounter had left me in a daze. I'd been so frazzled I'd even forgotten to ask his name or tell him mine.
I finished off my coffee, packed up and headed back to my studio. My mind had begun to stray so I called it in for the day, unfortunately, I needed to start going through my subject syllabus for my classes tomorrow so I hoped I could regain some focus if I locked myself away at home. I'd always liked to try and stay on top of my studies, it made for less stress later on when exam periods came around.
So, true to my word, I tested out my makeshift pull out couch and got comfortable by the large window. The light that poured in was uplifting and the vast space of the couch made for a great place to spread out all my papers.
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Memories - Joon's piece:
2.December.2013
It was well past midnight. I'd been locked away in my studio workroom since this afternoon, wracking my brain for a concept to the last album of our school trilogy. But, I can't focus. My thoughts have been a mess since September. Since Jia's near death. And everything that'd come after.
It hung, unbearably heavy on my heart. And it was something I fiercely battled with my mind to try and accept. It was no easy feat, but, what was the alternative?
There was none.
I let out a sigh and leaned back in my chair, shifting my gaze from my computer screen to the skull ornament on top of the speaker.
Perhaps I needed to change my perspective. I'd been so caught up in the negative. Losing Jia in this way was painful, but, after it all, there still remains the memories of our happier times.
Was that too selfish of me?
Knowing she didn't have that…
I pull my thoughts to the ones of her.
The way that she loved, I want to keep all the feelings and burn them into the back of my mind.
Skool Luv Affair.
An ode to the love shared, capture and commemorate those precious feelings.
I can't change the past. But, I refuse to let those memories die. I'll preserve them as best I can with this Album. I'm sure the guys will be for the idea. They care about her, and, are as torn up as I am in their own ways...