Acashia and Matthew Cullin were seated on the aisle long table. Their side of the table had plates full of food, ranging from bacon, to bread. From a freshly baked apple pie to peeled and cut fruit. It was the perfect colonial breakfast and it made Astrid's mouth salivate.
"Pretty lady, did you sleep here? Are you going to stay here forever?! Are you here to be my mommy?"
Acashia smiled at her and her glistening eyes were riddled with hope. It made Astrid's heart skip a beat, as if the little girl accepted her existence completely. She felt validated. Whole. Even if it's just momentarily.
She feared how Matthew would react upon hearing Acashia's impulsive behavior. But what she saw calmed the maelstrom inside of her. The man sitting beside the child still had those deep facial features, but his eyes and movements were gentle and warm. Matthew looked at peace with the world, a look that Astrid hadn't seen before.
"Acashia." He said. "Darling, you must eat well."
After being scolded by her father, Acashia stuck her tongue out and playfully giggled at her father. Matthew acted as if he was offended, but still gave a small smile to the little angel beside him. He pinched Acashia on the cheeks and kissed it.
"You really are my little devil."
Acashia laughed. "Daddy, I thought I was your angel!"
Standing beside Milly, Astrid's mouth hung open as tears welled up on her eyes. The view in front of her is a scene that she has seen countless times in her dreams. It was something she wished for in the back of her mind.
A picture of a perfect family.
And now it's right in front of her. And yet… her heart was still breaking into a thousand pieces.
Just a few steps away from her was something she could never have. Something she would never reach.
For who wants a criminal as a wife? As a mother?
No one.
"Pretty Lady, come and eat with us, please!"
Little Acashia jumped off the chair and ran towards her, her little hand immediately grabbed Astrid's own, making the limp woman gasp.
"Sit with me!" She said with a smile. "I'll help you, pretty lady!"
When she arrived at Abel's mansion yesterday, little Acashia had already seen how she walked, saw that her leg was bad and she had trouble walking. Astrid Starling didn't care how Matthew sees her. But it's a whole different thing when Acashia's involved.
She had always dreamed for her daughter to see her as a superhero. As her protector.
Now she feels guilty for she would not be any of those things to her little girl.
"It's okay, you don't need to help me, little one. I can go by myself. I'm heavy you see." Astrid said in a whisper, but when Acashia turned to her and smiled, her face was filled with the warmest ray of sunshine.
"It doesn't matter. Are you like me? Dad said, pretty girls get something taken from them by jealous spirits. We are the same! I'm sick too! I have leukemia."
There's an old saying, "For darkness would not exist if there was constant light."
Astrid Starling had never understood this old saying that her father continuously uses whenever she and her brother is being lectured. She was young back then, naïve about what it is really like to face the dark.
But now she understands it. Because she sees the light in her daughter's eyes, easing the pain that she had to go through for five years.
Astrid's eyes were covered with a layer of tears. She looked down at the child who was holding her hand, carefully pulling her forward until they made it to the table. Her heart was aching as if it had been drenched with a glass full of boiling water.
"Acashia. Sit down and finish your meal."
As she sat on the heavy wooden chair, Matthew, who had been watching the two of them, parted his lips and said, "What are you doing?" He hissed, making Astrid flinch because of his ice cold stare. "Why are you crying in front of my daughter? You're ruining the mood!" He hissed.
"She is not, daddy! You're so mean!"
Acashia's chubby little fingers slid off her hand. When she looked at Matthew, based on how he's staring at her and his demeanor — the man was obviously unamused.
This kind of estranged indifference made a permanent frown show on Matthew's face. 'What's wrong with this woman? Why does she look like a street dog? Did she dress herself?' He thought as he examined Astrid from head to toe.
"Can't you look a bit happier?" He hissed.
But then he realized something. Why does he care so much about Astrid's mood or how she looks? It all doesn't matter, right? She is nothing to him. She is just someone he needs to help his daughter's medical condition, that's it.
With a sigh, Matthew managed his budding temper and said. "Whatever… it doesn't matter. Just sit down and eat."
"Thank you."
She may be smiling but her actions contradict her words and the pleasant look on her face. Astrid sat down on the farthest chair on the right. She didn't want to be near Matthew, no matter how much she craved for Acashia's presence.
After noticing this, Acashia grabbed her plate and ran toward's where Astrid was seated.
"Acashia Abel, what do you think you're doing?!"
The little girl naughtily stuck her tongue out, continuously mocking her father. "I don't want to sit with you!"
Matthew rolled his eyes and continued to eat his meal in silence. He watched from afar as her daughter shared her meal with Astrid. Although those two reunited recently and the girl has no idea that the lame woman she's sitting with is her mother, it was obvious that they shared a bond.
It was somewhat strange to watch Astrid feed the child, wipe the milk off her face as they laughed at the mess Acashia made… and yet, it was somehow pleasant to see.
But when he heard Acashia said to Astrid, "Pretty lady, are you also afraid of my Daddy?"
Both of his brows raised. "Also?" He whispered to himself.
After realizing that his own daughter was conspiring against him, the frown on his face deepened. "I will not have you talk bad about your own father, Acashia!" Matthew scolded the little one, making the little girl snicker.
On the other side of the table, Astrid looked down at her daughter's fawn-like eyes. Such innocent eyes that should not feel any fear or worry about the world. Not only that, but Astrid was falling in love with her smile, melting her stone heart as if it was butter. "Don't worry, Acashia, I'm not afraid of your father."
"Are you sure about that?" Was Matthew's haughty reply as Astrid combed Acashia's hair with her long fingers.
She was so focused on her daughter that she didn't notice how Matthew was looking at the two of them.
"You're really not afraid of him?" The child asked. "But… didn't you turn and run away yesterday as soon as you saw my daddy entering the house?"
Both Astrid and Matthew were shocked with the innocent question. Matthew was so taken back that he choked on his hot coffee and coughed to clear his aching throat.
"Acashia." Matthew hissed after wiping his face with a clean towel.
However, Astrid merely giggled and smiled, and said casually to the little girl, "It's not that I'm afraid of him… you see, I'm not very familiar with your father." She paused, licked her lips and turned her attention to Matthew. "Why are you afraid of your Dad?"
She asked the little girl. After all, she knew what kind of man Matthew is. What she has no clue about is what kind of things this little girl likes, what she doesn't like. What she fears, what she desires and craves for. What makes her cry at night and what makes her laugh until she falls on the floor.
She's curious about the being of this little girl.
For how can an Matthew Cullin raise a sweet little thing like her. He was ruthless and a cold blooded snake.
"I am not…" Acashia answered, then she grabbed a fork and shoved a piece of bread in her mouth.
"Oh really?" Astrid said with a grin. "I doubt it."
As Matthew watched the two girls interact, his face went dark and grim after hearing what Astrid said to his daughter. 'I'm not very familiar with your Dad.'
He wondered, 'Not familiar? Does this woman think that in just five years, what she had done can be forgiven and forgotten? Is she really that cold hearted?'
From a child's eyes, life was simple. Unlike the two adults who were experiencing complicated emotions.
Acashia placed her fork on the table, and nodded thoughtfully, frowned and sighed, "It's not easy to meet someone who is not afraid of my Daddy." She looked at Astrid and continued, "And you are so pretty that she can be my mother. I really like you, Pretty Lady."
Astrid, who was caressing Acashia's hair, froze in place. When she looked at Matthew, he looked rather the same.
After a few seconds of silence, the man who was sitting across the table looked at her with scrutiny, as if waiting for her answer.
But knowing how much she hated herself, how could Astrid say something that would bring shame on herself?
"It's a pity, I can't be your mother, pretty little girl."
When she said those words, the tone of her voice was eerily calm. Because what she said was just the fact that she recognized in her heart.