Instead of retaliating Matthew's accusations, Astrid rolled her eyes, turned and then limped up the stairs and to her room. Ignoring the man who was staring at her back. Indeed, she felt his gaze on her, but she chose to ignore it, like a dark spirit or a ghost.
"Where do you think you're going?" Matthew asked, raising his voice. "I'm still talking to you, Astrid Starling!"
No Answer.
The fact that Astrid ignored him made his blood boil. As he sat behind his table, he let out streams of curses, mumbling them like a prayer. Being ignored like some child. It's one of the things that he hated the most.
Matthew reached towards the pager and called for his daughter's nanny. "Milly Brown —" He said. " —come here, immediately!"
"Coming, sire."
Milly Brown arrived in front of him with a certain air of grace. After giving her courtesy, Matthew handed over Acashia to the middle aged woman and bolted up to the stairs, almost running. His Italian made leather shoes made loud tapping sounds against the floor, making Milly Brown frown.
The middle aged woman sighed. "He's in such a bad mood." She said, sounding concerned. "I wonder what happened to them."
Acashia whose arms were wrapped around her nanny's head shook her shoulders. Her cheeks were puffed before she released her breath by blowing raspberries. "I don't know, Nana. But Daddy has always been like that. He rarely laughs."
Milly shook her head. "I don't know, Princess…"
The two of them looked at each other as if exchanging thoughts. A kind of language they shared since Acashia learned how to speak.
"Let's go to your bedroom, darling?"
"Okay…"
=================
It's nothing but an emotion that spreads like wildfire. She was so drained, so tired that it felt like her body was burning. Astrid Starling sighed after she closed the door of her room. But before she could even relax, loud and subsequent banging on the door made her flinch.
"What is it —"
The door's lock was destroyed after a few strong kicks from the enraged man on the other side.
Astrid covered her face and closed her eyes, backing away from the door as soon as she could. She was on her way to her closet to grab some painkillers, but frowned and stared at the door instead. She didn't need to guess who it was.
For who else had such an unpredictable temper except for him?
And she was right. For there he was, Matthew Cullin. He was standing against the door frame, his body leaning against it as he stared at Astrid breathlessly. The expression on his face looked dark. The man was obviously pissed. But whatever ticked him off, she had no idea.
"Is something wrong?" She said coldly, already accustomed to the unreasonable and inexplicable behavior of Matthew Cullin.
The hot headed man didn't answer, instead he let his body speak for him. One foot after the other, he walked towards Astrid whose eyes were glued to him. When they were a few feet apart, Matthew took the last step forward and pulled Astrid towards him, pinning her against the corner.
Feeling their breathing against each other's heated skin, Astrid licked her lips. The room suddenly became too small for them, too hot. Almost to the point of becoming unbearable. She wanted to push Matthew away, but his eyes made her frozen in place.
Instead of pushing him, Astrid opted to move away from him. But when she was about to take that single step, her leg gave up on her.
"Ah!" She yelped in pain, almost losing her balance.
"Shit." Matthew hissed, pulling Astrid close to prevent her from falling. If it wasn't for his quick reflexes, she would've fell face first on the cold floor.
"What do you think you're doing?!" Astrid pushed him away, her face contorted in disgust and dismay. Every single cell of her body refused to be touched by him. She loathed him to the core and refused to receive help from someone like him. "Let go of me!"
Seeing her reaction, the last bit of Matthew's self control disappeared. His patience snapped and his face reddened from anger. "That's it — you ungrateful bitch!" He grabbed both of Astrid's wrists tightly, not letting go.
"What are you — stop!"
"You stop!" Matthew hissed. "Don't you dare get the wrong idea, Astrid Starling. Know your goddamn place!" His eyes narrowed, his lips curling down, flashing a dangerous air around him, making Astrid shiver.
Feeling their skin touch after five years, the two of them became clouded with an odd uncomfortable feeling. They used to be so close, and had so much going for them. They used to be each other's muse. But now, it's clear how much they despised each other. They were staring at each other's eyes and yet there was no spark.
In the end, Astrid folded and lowered her head. "I know my place." She whispered, as she looked anywhere but his eyes.
"Don't you dare push me away like that ever again." He warned, still staring at her face. "You understand?"
"I do."
And yet, her answer contradicted what she was feeling. After spending years inside the Psychiatric Hospital, she learned to trust no one. She was full of doubts, and how she sees men changed from fear to disgust.
She remembered how the men in the institution saw her. And to this day, it still sends shivers to her spine. Whenever she remembers it, she feels as if thousands of spiders and bugs are crawling on her skin. "I am only here for Acashia. I know my purpose. And I will do as you ask." She paused, finding the strength inside to look at him. "Now, let me go."
After those words escaped her lips, Astrid's eyes became red and filled with tears. She was biting her lower lip, trying to calm herself. Trying to talk some scene to the demons inside of her.
'I'm in hell… I'm in hell!'
She told herself like a mantra as she bears the pain that's coming from her bad leg. Maybe she walked too much today. She forced herself for her daughter.
But even when she tried to hide her pain from Matthew, he still caught it.
He observed how Astrid's fingers were fidgeting and her forehead was covered with beads of sweet.
"Impossible." He whispered after realizing how much pain Astrid was trying to hide.
After a few minutes of silence, Matthew noticed what was wrong. He looked down and saw dribbles of blood that pooled down on Astrid's feet.
Noticing that Matthew saw the blood pooling down on the floor, Astrid silently cursed herself for letting her weakness be seen. She raised her head and matched the intensity of Matthew's stare. She looked into his ocean eyes, and with an impatient tone she said, "Let me go."
The man didn't budge. "Not until you tell me what's going on with you.
"Fuck off!" She pulled away her hand against Aaron's, throwing off the man. Astrid walked slowly to the cabinet, minding her wound and took out her small medicine box, which was full of severe painkillers.
Astrid tossed the medicine box on her bed, propper her foot up on and slowly pulled her pants. Mindlessly and clouded with pain — she did not give a damn if Matthew saw her scars and wounds. She exposed her left leg in front of the man. Exposing and revealing new wounds, large and small. Her legs looked like the map of the world. From dark spots to long cuts. And the skin on her legs was badly damaged as well.
'Her legs looked like a wounded street dog with severe mange.'
'Legs for miles — my ass!'
She remembered how the other patients and guards threw insults at her. But Astrid kept her silence. Instead she begins to apply the ointment on her wounds and scars. Then she took a box of painkillers, popped one from the film and swallowed it directly.
The man on the side remained motionless as he watched and observed. His breathing became labored and his heart was racing for miles — almost to the point that it hurt. His eyes revealed all the emotions inside of him. And inside his head was the question, "What happened to you, Astrid Starling?"
No longer able to stop himself nor suppress his emotions, Matthew moved to where Astrid was. He approached her and said, "What happened to you?" His voice was riddled with concern.
"You do not know?"
Astrid shook her head and let out a deep chuckle, trying to push away the ache in her heart. 'How could he not know?!' Those words circled in her mind over and over again. Just thinking of those dark days in the mental hospital, she subconsciously clenched her fingers into a fist. She lets all the pain sink in as her blunt nails dig against the palm of her hands.
"Isn't it all thanks to you? Now you're here to ask me how it happened? Are you stupid?" Her lips curled up into a smile and yet her eyes were sending daggers at him. Ignoring the pain in her legs, she straightened her back, wanting to show him that his presence doesn't affect her.