.....

Have you ever thought the meaning of the color green? A seemingly neutral color, a color of life some people would say. Bright yet dark, a color that has never have any emotion. Blue is for sadness, red is for anger and passion, while yellow is called the color of joy. Yet the color green...felt so meaningless...emotionless perhaps. This color could be on any kinds of depiction. Maybe it gives out the feeling of a warm and soft life of you being in a grassy hill. Or maybe a color full of cleanliness purity perhaps. Beauty can also be a thought, green is beautiful, just like the forest that I have always visit. Those where filled with greens and other colors of brown and red.

Mother have always loved the color green. Her wardrobe was filled with green clothes each have a different shade. Jewelry's such as rings and necklaces would not be an exception.

But mother...never have that feeling of warmth, no embrace or kiss of my mother will ever feel that way. It felt nothing at all.

Mother was nor pure. Her skin was always touched in every way, I have always tried to ignore it as a child. Every time I would see a man lurking in our place. At a party once, we are invited. It was a big party I never know who are these people. I am just by my mother's side never leaving. Men would gather around her and "talk". Her neck,breast,thighs were always touched the most. But she was never uncomfortable with these touches. She would let them devour her, hands intertwined, lips connected, body moved like snakes.

I was there...

Her eyes closed and followed the eyes of the mans hand. Her green dress was undone, lips red.

"Mother..." The sound of the radio is the only one saving them from getting caught. "Isn't that your child?" A gasp was heard "Oh silly he is just a little boy he would do no harm~" Sound of lips touching was heard. They giggle and continued.

I was just a kid back then. What could I even do?

I could just only close my eyes and hide. Even just for a moment I could not see anything.

But even so those memories....

Pushing and begging. Eyes rolling, pleasure rising. Sweats falling in the floor beneath my very own eyes. It was remarkable....

She was her own beauty. The person who made the color green so disgusting. A color that made my throat burn, that made my eyes fall tears.

I have never tried to be close with mother since then.

Green for me is such a disgusting flower....