DPHM rarely gives me missions anymore. It's been a month since my last Main Mission.
{What am I supposed to give you? Your life is good, stagnant and boring. You're life already isn't crappy anymore I mean I could make you try something new, but what? 30 supersets or something? That's not a sexy mission.}
Since when does it like it sexy?
{You know what I mean, something fun or spicy, not something easy or bland.}
How about commit a crime? Just kidding.
{Yeah no, I'm not "Made in China". I'm not gonna tell you to kill 20 murderers from the Black Dragon Clan or something hahaha}
You know I was joking.
{I could tell you were being sarcastic, I just wanted to mess with you.}
Man.
{How about this mission, this will be a fun one.}
{Main Mission 30: MAKE YOUR OWN MISSION. Use your seemingly useless skills and make a CREATIVE mission, you do not get to decide the reward nor punishment. Reward: +20 INT +1 million skill points. Punishment for failure: All skills besides Dae Zhae Kuaun are reset to level 1. Time Limit: 1 entire day.}
{Have fun ;)}
Bro what the hell?
{Y o u h a v e a s k i l l t h a t l i t e r a l l y b o o s t s y o u r i m a g i n a t i o n.}
I guess. But dang, that's so many skill points I can wipe my butt with that!
{You have 3 maxed out skills, might as well see it as maxing out your imagination skill}
I guess.
"Babe, what's going on in that head of yours? You bored?" Jugyeong says. It seemed like I was spacing out during the show, but I was talking to DPHM of course.
"Thinking of making a mission for my book." I say.
I never told her that it was an autobiography since she told me she doesn't wanna read it til it's done.
"That's interesting. It's a psycho-comedy romance thingy right?"
"Yeah."
"Hmm, how about you give them a mission on proving to someone he has superpowers."
"What the hell that's actually kind of genius."
"And he can do something stupid."
DPHM, I'm done.
{Already? You're not going to prove to someone you have superpowers. Like what superpowers? 'I can convince anyone to punch me.'}
Thank you. You said to use my own creativity, well you a r e part of my mind, even if you're 8 months old. My new main mission is: Convince 3 people I've never met to punch me. Time limit 1 day.
{Fine.}
{Main Mission 31: Convince 6 people you've never met to punch you. Reward: -5 INT, -5 FAT, -5 CSE, +30 CSY, +5 ATC, +100 CHM towards dominating or controlling women, or women who just like to hit stuff. My blessing for your eventual marriage with Jugyeong. PUNISHMENT: All skills besides Dae Zhae Kuaun and Lorry Dodger get reverted to Level 1 and you lose all skill points, Dream Torture, AND double the requirements for all passive missions. Time Limit: 1 day.}
You're so stupid baby.
{Why? You made it.}
{Tomorrow I go to the gym idiot. I'm just gonna go early, and all the people there I'll ask them to punch me idiot.}
{Watch you get 5 guys to punch you, well you have til 8 pm tomorrow.}
.
.
.
"My eyes, they burn." Jugyeong says.
"We've been watching The Villain Heros since like 12 hours ago."
"It's 10 pm, should we stay up all night? It's Wednesday tomorrow."
"Our parents will think..."
"Our parents know we aren't gonna ruin our lives until we commit to it, just let me stay over."
"I never said I didn't want you to stay over."
"Where can I sleep if I fall asleep?"
"On my bed, I'll just sleep on the couch."
"Then I'll sleep on the couch with you."
"You're quite stubborn."
"I want a body pillow for once. Why not a human one? It's not like we're gonna do more than literally sleep together."
"Woah I just heard the words sleep and together in the same sentence what the hell are y'all gonna be doing tonight?" my mom questions as she puts on her shoes for work.
"Literally sleeping together, not the slang term. We are gonna do the DICTIONARY definition of sleeping together after finishing season 3 of this anime." Jugyeong replies.
"Do your parents know?"
"Eh, they knew I was gonna hang over here today so if I overstay my welcome, they aren't gonna ask nor say more than 'Did you make the same mistake we did?' when I get home, in which I'll answer with a 'No.'"
"If you're lying to me you're gonna have to get married and I'm kicking Hyun out of my house right after and neither of y'all can come back until the baby is born."
"Definitely not lying."
"Hyun, please continue to be the human chastity machine that you are. At least til y'all get hitched and are at least 18."
"Don't sweat it mom." I say.
"Just making sure, I wanna be at least 50 by the time I'm a grandma."
"Don't worry mom." I reply..
.
.
"That was an awkward conversation." Jugyeong says.
"Yeah, like they should know by now."
"I doubt you're mom trusts you enough to know by now."
"I guess."
.
.
.
We finish the anime at 12 am.
"Babe that was fun."
"It was very much needed. Love, sorry but I've been meaning to ask, wanna call our engagement official?"
"We've been dating 8 months, but it's felt like 8 years. When we're both 18 in January, yes I'll marry you idiot. I probably proposed before you did."
"Well, you kinda did."
"It's weird being engaged at 17."
"We are weird."
"True."
"I know we're not gonna you know. That doesn't stop us from kissing all night."
"I might not be able to stop if you use your tongue the way you do."
"I'm a human rooster blocker. I have the control you don't. Go ham."
.
.
.
I indeed did act like a human rooster blocker. Jugyeong on the other hand, had to be moved to the bedroom to keep her from trying anything.
{GOOD BOY. YOU HAVE 3 MONTHS LEFT CRINGELORD. Gotta keep that PG-10 rating.}