{I actually can't believe you've let me live this long. You actually let me live to be 1 year old. Sad.}
Hey I know you lost your will to live, but come on, it's your project's wedding day.
{That's not why I want you to end me. After is what terrifies me.}
Oh. Yeah... Sorry about that. Ugh go to sleep when that happens.
{I can't believe you want me to go to sleep. I never sleep. You know how boring it is to just sit there and wait for you to wake up? Like it hurts me to even fathom it one more night.}
Can you please do it?
{I expect roses at my funeral.}
I'll try with that, but I don't know about Jugyeong.
{Speaking of your soon-to-be wife in a couple of hours, GET YOUR BUTT IN THE SHOWER NOW HYUN!}
I really need to get ready for this special day.
{COME ON JUST GET IN THERE STOP STALLING YOU DUMB PATHETIC HELPLESS MORON}
Okay that time it was actually valid.
In the shower, I refrain my entire year, thinking about all the amazing things that have happened this year.
My parents said that after the wedding I gotta move out. Which is valid. They don't want to see their eighteen year old son anymore. It doesn't surprise me one bit that I have to do get my butt out, I'm getting married after being 18 for only 2 weeks.
The water is cold and rushing, refreshing me. I need to feel like a new man because I am gonna be a new man soon. A married man. Even though I gotta go to school.
The suds bubbling through my hair, I wipe my fingers through my hand.
My book hasn't made it up to now, but it's close.
{I can't wait til I can finally rest in piece, you don't know the boredom. I MISS GIVING YOU MISSIONS.}
Getting out of the shower I freshen up, shave my beard, my mustache, and my sideburns to an acceptable length.
I don't want to gel my hair, but I got to do it.
Boogers of Chimps is the gel I have. It looks like boogers which makes it actually fit. It smells like watermelon and it's supposedly made of the very specific plant that is legal in Jamaica and America.
I look at myself in the mirror.
Man, I've progressed so much, I was 50 pounds overweight, a 250 pound, 5 foot 11 man. (Whatever that is in KG and M, we ship to Hawaii a lot so the US system is in my mind right now)
My muscles are big now, it's a huge transformation. I can't believe it, I look good, I feel good, everything is good. I mean EVERYTHING is good.
{I crafted a fine specimen for your wife, and she loved you as clay. Excuse the poetry, I don't care.)
I go up to what was left of my room, Jugyeong and I have already moved all of our stuff to our apartment to start our new life together.
My suit is hanging on a couple of hangers.
I put on my suit. It's a nice tuxedo, I've only worn this twice in my life, today, and my cousin's wedding. It's so big on me now, but I can't waste my 200 dollars.
Jugyeong demanded that I not buy an expensive ring. She's anti-diamond, I'm not, but she is. She told me she got absolutely traumatized when watching the movie "Bloody Ice Mines."
I watched it afterwards and let's just say, I got traumatized too.
I get ready for my big day.
I didn't have any dress shoes, nor did Jugyeong, we just agreed to wear our nicest tennis shoes.
Jugyeong picks me up, now most people would say that the groom should not see the bride before the marriage ceremony, but Jugyeong gives absolutely zero flying, falling, bird craps about that.
She got the car DETAILED which surprised me.
"You got the car detailed. And you're pretty detailed yourself love." I say to her.
Jugyeong blushes kind of. Her make up isn't cakey whatsoever, it just enhances her already beautiful face. Her dress is very nice too, I can't really see it in all it's glory on her though yet, she has no veil on yet, it's pretty, but down the aisle it would be the most amazing thing I ever see.
"Man I can't wait for us to get our apartment ready and all that, this is gonna be absolutely amazing babe." Jugyeong says.
"And we're skipping a school day too! Woo!" I say.
"Some people said that we're getting hitched too fast, but you know what? We love each other, and that's all that matters. We don't get bored of each other. After getting married, we DEFINITELY won't get bored of each other if you know what I mean."
{Woah! Wait a second... There's a jail in -> that direction at some point, I don't care if you have to go to Ukraine.}
.
.
.
We arrive at the government marriage hall and the aisle is quite long. Jugyeong isn't inside yet, she wants to maximize the marriage effect.
I await at the platform.
.
.
.
After an hour of waiting, the wedding is finally ready to begin.
The really cringy marriage music that goes deee deeew duh deeew deeew duh duh duhduhduh dada daaaaa dooo goes on.
{I KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING HYUN YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME!}
I was recording this all in my mind for when I put it in my book
My book is gonna have a VERY interesting chapter hehehe.
{Oh okay, carry on then.}
My dad is there, but not my mom, she's dead tired from work last night, I don't blame her for not coming, she said she could make it to the dinner which in my opinion matters more.
Jugyeong's parents are in the seats too, Mrs. Keum smiles at me. Mr. Keum is just there. He's looking at me with approval.
.
.
.
Nevermind the fool is bawling.
All of the gang's been able to make it to the wedding, except Xochitl, who's probably Jugyeong's best female friend, but I get it, she can't stand Dowoon nor can he stand her.
Dowoon is at my side as my Best Man and Suho is opposite me, since he is the Man of Honor. I half expected him to have a dress on! Hahaha! I know he wouldn't.
We are awaiting Jugyeong's arrival.
The music turns back on in heavy distorted fashion.
I can't even put into words Jugyeong's beauty.
It feels weird, surreal, and amazing.
Hyun looks handsome like always.
My family is there. My soon-to-be family is right in front of me. Hyun.
The music needs to be faster.
I can hear the lyrics in my head.
"Here comes the bride... yada yada yada." Okay yeah not all the lyrics, but I got the first line!
Walking up the aisle, I try to make sure my shoes do not stick out.
My first step feels like an absolute eternity.
Then the next step comes.
The third.
I can't take it anymore, I'm just gonna run all the way up there.
3. 2. 1.
Go.
She's running toward me.
Top speed like a bullet, my bride arrives before the music even ends.
She grabs the mic.
"Sorry, couldn't stand how long that felt. Let's get this show on the road! I'm dying to get married! I know y'all don't want to be here for too long." she yells out of nowhere.
The guy that marries you together asks the questions:
"Do you Hyun Ferrari, take Jugyeong Keum as your lawful wedded wife. To have and to hold for the rest of your life?"
"I do." I say.
"Do you, Jugyeong Keum take Hyun Ferrari as your lawful wedded husband?"
"I do." she says.
"Now make out, put the rings on, and sign the papers! My work here is done."
We do just so.
.
.
.
"Where are we going to eat!????" Suho asks.
"We reserved seats at Ferrari's y'all like it, it's not super far, it just made sense."
I see Jun in the sidelines with Doha or Doja or whatever her name is eating at a table.
"What y'all got married? Congrats Warhog."
{He's been calling you that for a while.}
He started calling me that a month after the end of Junior year.
We ordered pizza that was already ready, and then we sit down and talk.
"So where are y'all gonna go on y'all's honeymoon?" Kiara asks.
"Italy, Puerto Rico, or Arizona." Jugyeong replies.
"Ah. Good you're not going to Georgia to see the peaches."
"Wowwww."
"I didn't mean it in that way! I meant the trees."
"Surrrre."
"I'm serious, that's all Georgia has."
"You went? Thought you were Jamaican."
"Have some family over there."
"Ah."
.
.
.
After our meal, we see the gigantic sea of boxes in our new home... Oh goodness this is a lot.