Today is the first day of senior year. FRICKIN HELL I'M SCREWED!
{Watch your language, want me to add a passive mission that even makes you unable to say hell?! Now shut up and eat that edible soap sporco!}
"Ay yo! You speaking Italian to me?"
{ARE YOU STUPID? YOU KNOW I LIVE IN YOUR BRAIN! ARE YOU THIS FORGETFUL? YOU'RE MAKING THE VIEWERS CRINGE! THE JOKE ISN'T GOOD ANYMORE!}
"Why are you pretending to break the fourth wall? You sound even more like an idiot than I do!"
"Tranquillo idiota! Tua madre ha bisogno di dormire!" My dad yells, he basically said to shut up because mom's asleep.
{Get ready for school.}
Fine.
{Now you think? You look stupid when you think out loud or talk to me out loud.}
Can't help that.
{You can, just think instead of have e v e r y b o d y hear you. -5 INT baka!}
Hey!
{If you want it back you're gonna have to either grind passives, or actually do a main mission for once. It's been like 2 weeks and I feel like torturing you again. Having you sell 5 items on your store in a day was a pretty brutal challenge.}
Oh no. What's this gonna be?
{MAIN MISSION 23: MAKE A NEW FRIEND. In one of your classes make a new friend. Reward: +15 INT +15 FAT +5000 skill points PUNISHMENT FOR FAILURE: Remember that verrrrry special punishment I told you about? Time Limit: 5 days}
You've inflated skill points to oblivion DPHM, they aren't a reward anymore.
{Hey you have really detailed (I mean insanely detailed, to the point of no return, if they weren't about Jugyeong, I'd force you to go to a psychiatrist) dreams now, and you speak more educated, and you also make Jugyeong melt even more than she already does when it's you two. It has merit, who cares if you don't get super strength or better at dae zhae kuaun, or could actually avoid every semi in existence, with the type of tongue that you got from me bugging you all the time, you could become a great author, you woo your girlfriend to the point of no return, like seriously if you got down on one knee right now she'd probably accept, and you sleep good, which makes you FUNCTION.}
That doesn't sound so bad honestly. I do read quite a bit of web novels. Also, I'm surprised these useless abilities are actually useful.
{Well no duh. Creativity is something that not everyone has, look at Jugyeong, the most creative thing she's done is go out with you.}
Ayo, don't talk about my girlfriend like that.
{Remember I'm 7 months old, wah wah wah. I'm a baby remember?}
And you have the personality of a 13 year old internet troll.
{I mean you were one of those way back when, have you SEEN your browser history. It's all Speddit and 5kun. Thankfully you didn't go to the dark corners of them. For my safety too. But yeah, you could be a great author.}
{SIDE MISSION 10: Start to Write a Book. I don't care what it's about, but at least write 10 thousand words. Reward: +25 INT, +25 CSY, Skill: "Active Imagination" which is almost exactly like it sounds.}
Almost?
{At high levels it becomes an experience}
What kind of- actually nevermind, I'll find out with my overflow of skill points.
{Now get ready for school! You want your future wife to starve? Make her breakfast. It's 6:20 am chop chop.}
I can finally eat breakfast.
That was a mission I had over the summer, to readjust my happy pill schedule to the night so I could y'know, EAT BREAKFAST.
I would have done it sooner, like during spring break or something, but I was still scared of Jun.
NOT ANYMORE.
I make Jugyeong and I some biscuits and gravy, it's been a while, my Puerto Rican cousins really know how to tick a foodie off, sending me things they eat that KOREAN Koreans don't make good that they made once when they came over and I never got to eat again.
Not anymore, that cooking passive mission is pretty helpful.
I don't want y'all to know EVERYTHING that happens in my life.
{Who's the cringe wannabe fourth wall breaker now.}
Shut up.
"Hey babe, whatcha making for breakfast?" Jugyeong says as she comes in and kisses me. Cherry lipgloss this time. Tasty.
She has a key to our apartment, my parents really don't care that she has it, she's always here anyway.
"Biscuits and gravy, mio amore."
"I love it when you speak Italian."
"I'm doing it more because you like it."
"Keep doing it."
"I tuoi desideri sono ordini."
"English translation."
"Your wish is my command."
"It does sound hotter in Italian."
Jugyeong only speaks to me in English so I can practice it. She's trilingual like me, who'll be an official polyglot first? I dunno, but man Cantonese is super hard to read, I dunno how she does it. Maybe she'll try to learn Italian next. I'm already too old to learn Cantonese.
DING!
"Biscuits are done. Gravy too." I say.
"Gracias." she replies.
"Wrong latin language, but you're welcome."
"What's it in Italian?"
"Grazie."
"Ah."
"Time to eat!"
She looks at the food in amazement, the dish itself looks delicious, despite not being appealing, man traditional American food is weird.
{They're the same type of people to eat gator and mac n cheese and collard greens. Of course it's weird.}
"What's the traditional way to eat it according to your cousins?" she asks me.
"With hot sauce."
Her eyes lit up.
After our meal, we take the 5 minute car drive to school.
"It's been a while babe. I hate school." Jugyeong dreads.
"We have the same schedule. It shouldn't suck A S much."
"Wanna ditch?"
"Let's at least go to the first day of school."
"At least we get to just hang around for a while."
"It's 7 am, we have an hour to hang out here."
"We should join a club! Most of them meet before school!"
"As long as it's not like a sport I don't care."
"What do you suggest?"
"I wanna try out the Author's Association."
"You want to write a book?"
"Yeah."
"What's it about?"
"Don't know yet, how about a book about a guy with a system that actually doesn't exist, to make fun of those Chinese and Korean get OP system novels?"
{DPHM thinks: Ironic}
"That's funny and is either a million dollar idea or a million Zimbabwe dollar idea."
"What's the difference?"
"One million Zimbabwe dollars is 2 and a half grand USD."
"Oh..."
"Yeah I hear unless you have a lot, it's basically toilet paper."
"Eesh."
"Yeah. Any other clubs?"
"I dunno, I really don't care as long as it's not sports."
"How about game club?"
"Dowoon runs it like an e-sports team."
"Ah yeah nevermind."
"I dunno, homework club?"
"THAT'S A THING?"
"It's a club that is basically the library but in a teacher's classroom and you can actually t a l k."
"That's. . . perfect."
"Wanna join since we are so used to getting to school at 7 am anyway?"
"Yes."
When we arrive, we join the Homework Club. It doesn't open until tomorrow and...
it's in Mrs. Lim's room this year.
"I get to tick off Mrs. Lim twice a day now?" Jugyeong is all excited.
Jugyeong and I's schedule is:
1st Period Advanced English with Mrs. Lim, convenient with the club.
2nd Period AP Psychology with Mr. Park
3rd Period Government and Economics with Mr. Boskanovich (Korean Russians normally live farther north, surprising, new guy so idk.)
4th Period KLA 12 with MRS. JEONG WOO! EVERYONE SAYS SHE DOES NOTHING!
5th Period Lunch
6th Period PE WITH COACH YOO-JI? I didn't notice that.
{That's because it was Mr. Woo before, they changed it today, apparently he retired early.}
"My Dae Zhae Kuaun instructor is our PE teacher this year. We're screwed." I say to Jugyeong.
"Why?"
"Let's just say she gets very physical."
"WOAH WHAT KIND OF PHYSICAL? DOES SHE ASSAULT MIN-"
"No, she just likes to hit. A lot. In the stomach. She also likes to throw kids."
"Like the weird reverse throws y'all do?"
"Yeah, good ol' Dae Zhae Kuaun."
"Hell."
"It's gonna be."
"Y a y. Now I get tortured again, AND IT'S REQUIRED TO GRADUATE."
"Yeah, at least you quit Taekwondo."
"Seriously. Also I wonder how those girls are doing? Bad? Probably."
"Do they want you to come back?"
"I had to block coach, and the entire team on Instargraf, AND on my contacts."
"Desperation. Cringe."
"I'm desperate for something."
"What?"
"Coffee and you."
"Well there is the old attic that no one uses anymore."
"Now that's going WAY back."
"Hehehe."
"Hehehe."