It's day 5 and I still don't have any new friends.
Last day of the mission, I know this ain't a book or an anime, but I really need plot armor to give me a friend.
{Stop talking like Lifepool in your mind, it's getting old.}
I know...
I need a new friend, stat. DPHM! Does my friend have to be a student?
{I never specified}
Should I try Coach Yoo-ji? Is she technically my friend or not.
{She listed as an associate, but not friend. That's a pretty smart idea to try. Now pay attention, you need to pay attention to Psychology, it's your AP class.}
My girlfriend can just teach me!
{She's paying even less attention.}
Mr. Boskanovich starts rambling, "The frontal lobe of our brain is where we think about our random stuff..."
I couldn't pay attention, Jugyeong couldn't either.
"Babe, I thought this class was gonna be easy! Normal psychology was so easy." Jugyeong tells me.
"Well we can suffer together at least."
"Yeah."
.
.
.
About like 3 minutes later.
"Okay I'm tired, can't talk in Korean for too long yet before I mess up. Do homework for the rest of the period." Mr. Boskanovich said.
Wow, the dude can only last like 10 minutes speaking in Korean. I guess I know which side of the border he's from now.
For the rest of the period, Jugyeong and I decided to talk and stare at each other. Her pearly white smile gleaming ever brighter through her dark tan from a month ago that still hasn't faded away, attacking my heart and making it palpitate evermore.
.
.
.
That was cheesy but this is my mind, only DPHM will hear me.
{Cringe}
Everything is cringe to you.
{Hahaha}
"Babe, you look sad, what's going on?" Jugyeong asks me.
"I just want to make a new friend."
"Do you need to?"
"No, I'm happy right now, it's just something I made a goal this week and hasn't happened yet."
"If only our club wasn't full of the idiots dating nerds and vice versa."
"Ha true."
"Are we that?"
"Nah, we're both slightly below average intelligence."
"At least we're smart at business."
"How much did we make last month?"
"6 thousand bucks."
"Dang we could get an apartment for 3 months."
She just smiles and says,
"Can't wait."
.
.
.
In PE, I decide to try and befriend Coach Yoo-ji.
We're close enough to potentially become friends.
"Hey Hyun, you know any 18 year old boys that like 25 year old women?" she asks.
She's desperate.
"Didn't you ask me this 4 days ago?"
"No, I asked if any of your male cousin's were available."
"Ah."
"Do you?"
"No, but I can give you dating advice."
"No."
"I've had a much more successful relationship than you've ever had."
"How?"
"Ask Jugyeong, we're unofficially engaged."
"WHAT? Did you-"
"Nah, we both just agreed that it'd make sense."
"Y'all are weird! Y'all went so fast."
"Remember the context Yoo-ji, Jugyeong and I have been close friends since we were 12."
"Okay that's more realistic."
"So, do you want my advice or no?"
"I'll listen, you're probably the only person I know that I can get this advice from."
"Not from your parents or cousins or siblings?"
"All my younger siblings got adopted, and I got stuck at an orphanage for a while. Dad got assassinated by a rival gang and my mom couldn't take care of all seven of us anymore since she had Huntington's disease and my dad was the major breadwinner. Haven't seen my cousins in like 12 years. One of my brothers and two of my sisters got Huntington's from what I heard. I didn't carry it though."
"Dang, um yeah, I'll just give you some advice."
"Sorry, that was a bit too much, didn't mean to tell a 17 year old boy my life story, I just haven't had someone I could tell that to. All my dates leave before I could tell them." She says shedding a couple of tears.
I turn my head to Jugyeong and she just mouths "finish what you started."
"Okay, don't be cringe for one." I say to Yoo-ji.
"Really? This is sound advice?"
"Believe me, it helps."
"How am I suppose to know what's cringy?"
"Don't try to act like you know everything about something unless you have some sort of ethos to back it up. Also don't try to act like you're quirky, if you're quirky, you don't have to state it."
"I. See."
"Also tell each other what your absolute NO-GOs are so y'all don't waste each other's time."
"This is good stuff."
"Last but not least, never insist to pay for him unless he asks to borrow money that he wants to pay back. Most guys have that so ingrained into their minds that it hurts their pride if they have a girl pay for him. Most guys nowadays are fine with going Dutch at the start, but if he offers to pay, as long as it's not the first date or two, accept."
"That's a good one, a couple of my dates become uninterested when I offered to pay since the classes make me good money and now I have this job too."
"Oh yeah another one, don't state you're a feminist, say egalitarian. It's the same thing but it's for both genders and promotes true gender equality. Some girls I know think that the term is still feminist, it's not, it's egalitarian."
"OH MY GOODNESS THAT MIGHT BE MY BIGGEST WOOP. But why is it called egalitarian and not feminist?"
"Egalitarian means that you strive for gender equality in the truest sense. Men don't get charged for child support as sperm donors. Men and Women get the same sentence for the same crime. Men have an equal chance for child custody as women do if the child is under 12. The many double standards that are toxically put upon men from other men or from women. Etc. get included with the equality of women. Feminism has become synonymous with the "women get paid more and should be allowed to get away with things that men can't get away with and should be allowed to ridicule teenage and young boys for man spreading and other normal male things that aren't inherently misogynistic."'"
"That was pretty passionate. Is this what guys really deal with?"
"Guys don't like toxic feminity just like women don't like toxic masculinity."
"That's pretty fair, so that's what I've been doing wrong."
"It's a common mistake amongst women older than 21."
"Hey!"
"You wanted advice."
"Thanks kid."
"Hope you find that special guy."
"Thanks Hyun. I can't believe I can consider a 17 year old boy a friend hahaha."
"You can hang out with Jugyeong and I at some times."
"Thanks. Maybe when I get a boyfriend, we can go on a double date."
"Isn't that a bit weird?"
"You're unofficially engaged at 17 and probably make more money a month than I do, y'all are more adult-like than I am."
"I guess so. Can I call you Yoo-ji without the Coach now?"
"Doesn't really matter bro."
"Alright."
{That is the weirdest solutions you've had but it worked. ALSO START WRITING THAT BOOK!}
Kay.
.
.
.
"So what did you and Coach Yoo-ji talk about?" Jugyeong asked me on the way home.
"She wanted dating advice. I told her to ask her parents or relatives. Turns out she's an orphan that hasn't seen them in 12 years. After she got over it, I gave her the advice."
"I heard you mention that we are unofficially engaged. YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO TELL ANYONE!"
{OOO YOU'RE IN TROUBLE XD}
"It's not like anyone knows or cares. If the cat gets out of the bag, we can just make it official."
She blushes.
"We're like the only couple that has this in our plans at our age."
"True, there doesn't seem to be as many seniors besides us that might get hitched in senior year."
"Yeah."
"I love you."
"I love you too."