Chereads / My Non-existent System / Chapter 13 - Chapter 13: {An Insane Couple and Some Insane Missions Pt. 1}

Chapter 13 - Chapter 13: {An Insane Couple and Some Insane Missions Pt. 1}

{I'm thinking about a painful mission for you hehehe}

"I'm working, leave me alone!" I reply to DPHM.

I was 4 hours into my work day. Wednesdays aren't the busiest days, but kids that don't go on Sunday tend to come on Wednesday.

"Hey Hyun! I'm here to get some pizza!" It's Suho.

"How many?"

"One for here and one to go."

"What kind?"

"Same old same old. Pineapple bacon."

"Alfredo or not?"

"Alfredo for mine and the normal on the other."

"You eating here right now and taking one later?"

"It's edible courage man. I have a photoshoot in a bit."

"Is a face full of sauce the prompt?!" I say to him.

"I wish, girls love two things, hot guys and food."

"Don't forget money."

"That's facts though."

"~Hey how was your daaaaate?~"

"Jugyeong and I started dating. Not officially, it's casual for now."

"Make that a third pizza, I owe Dowoon one, dangit! I lost the bet, I owe him a pizza."

"What did you two bet on?"

"How long it would take for you two to date."

"How long did you bet?"

"A year, for Dowoon he bet 6 months."

"So he wins by closeness."

"Yeah."

"Rip."

Then for some reason...

Sangah walks in.

She smacks my back while saying.

"Hey there Hyun, you work here? I'm gonna be working here starting tomorrow as a hostess." Sangah started chattering about other stuff after that that I didn't care about.

"Who's this girl?" Suho asks.

"I'm Sangah."

"Suho."

"Yo Hyun how was your date?"

"Thanks for being my wingwoman." I reply to her.

"See I told you! But seriously how in hell..."

"She's a 15 year old boy in a 17 year old girl's body. Doesn't surprise me one bit that she likes a responsible dude that can have fun." Suho said.

"Hey can I eat with you? I'm gonna buy myself something, we can talk about random stuff. You don't seem sexist, so I think we could be friends. I mean you're friends with Hyun!" Sangah says. She definitely thinks he's hot. Sorry girl, that ain't happening.

{Main Mission 6: Return The Favor. Be Sangah's wingman and help her land a date with Suho. Reward: +5 FAT, +5 INT, +5 Skill Points. Time Limit 3 Hours. Punishment for Failure: Stop dating Jugyeong. Punishment for Denying the Punishment: Dream torment for a year and you won't receive passive mission rewards for a month.}

"What the hell DPHM! This is torture!" I say to it.

{If you don't wanna do it, you can just take the punishment for denial now!}

"I'm considering it honestly."

{You're already mentally off, let's just make it official.}

"I am not mentally off."

{If you're not then try it. You can always take the denial punishment if you can't figure it out! Just say you give up and will take the denial punishment.}

"Fine. I'll take my lunch break."

{It's dinner time.}

"I can take it still, it's 5 pm."

{Alright then let's see if you can.}

I go to my dad...

"Hey can I take my lunch break right now?" I ask him.

"You get 20 minutes." he replies.

"Aight."

I go to their table and sit next to Sangah so I can whisper to her.

Then Suho texts me...

"This girl's funny, but weird. Defo a hardcore egalitarian. Which I like tbh. She's cute. But that's it."

"You questioning your aromanticism right now?" I text back.

"Maybe."

"So no then."

"Maybe."

Sangah was looking through her meme collection to show Suho.

I whisper in her ear, "Ask him out. He said two maybes. So he really is on the fence. Talk about food, cars, his job, whatever. My man has a big ego."

"Was it obvi-" she whispers.

"Shoot your shot. Think of this as repayment."

"Thanks."

I dip to another booth to down my salad and soup, and bread.

{You're eating that? You're a little hoodrat. You can't even go a week on borderline Keto, it's not like you're actually on it! I doubt Sangah'll land a date with him. Just take the denial punishment now!}

"Give it a second..." I tell it.

Suho texts me.

"Bro, she asked me out on a date, should I go to try it? To test if I'm truly aromantic or not?"

"If she's been able to handle your giant ego for 20 minutes, you should at least give her a chance."

{How the hell are you doing this? This was supposed to be a Sparta-level mission. I'M FUMING. Tomorrow you're getting rekt, straight up, you're screwed tomorrow, you cannot be this smart! I mean you get crappy grades!}

"I guess his aromanticism was your Trojan Horse."

{Shut the hell up}

"This proves you're not omnipotent."

{Doesn't matter, I still can ruin your life.}

"Then why were you also my wingman?"

{As long as you don't die, I don't die so that's a small price to pay}

"Why is that overall mission there then?"

{There's a 0.00000000000001% chance you figure it out ;)}

"That's a chance still."

{You have a better chance of having octuplets with Jugyeong than finding out the truth about me}

"How much you wanna bet."

{I can't bet ;)}

"Dang..."

Then Suho texts me again...

"Didn't see your text, I think I'll do it!"

{Take these +5 FAT +5 INT and +5 Skill Points. I'm not gonna do the automated robot looking crap. That's too much.}

"You really shouldn't have a personality."

{I'm just a troll version of you so that's your problem. I'm not like normal systems you idiot. I was ordered to fix your good-for-nothing life. I'm hardwired into your nerves so I'm just your personality but meaner ;)}

"This is pain."

{There's more coming ;)}

Sangah then comes to sit with me since Suho just started to leave for work.

"Thanks dude! I got a date!" She told me.

"If it doesn't work out, don't blame me."

"I won't."

"Kay, now I'm gonna get back to work."

"Okay bye! See you at work tomorrow!"

"See ya I guess."

I finish my last stretch of work.

After work I'm so tired, I gotta do something to limber up for tomorrow, so I train my elbow technique for an hour and then did some squats aka, the only exercise that fat people can do consistently. Since it's not Thursday yet, I'm only half complete with that passive mission. Training doesn't count as exercise apparently and I could only do like 10 minutes of squats.

Then I shower and read some manga, I think it's called "Love is Unfair, Like Mechs" or something. I know they said that there won't be an anime of it until at LEAST another 30 ish years, since the author said that he doesn't want to see the inevitable eyesore of CGI that his baby would have. Honestly, understandable.

Around 10 pm, Jugyeong calls me...

"Hey Hyun, how was work? The karaoke video went viral! Look at all these hate comments! I'm so happy!"

"Why are there hate comments?"

"They're all like, "she's too good for him" and all that, if they saw more than my looks they'd know that I'm just as trash as they are pfffffffff!"

"You're not trash, at least I don't think you are."

"That's because you're used to me though~"

"That's probably true."

"I'm gonna send you some pictures of what I plan on wearing tomorrow, one sec. I dunno if I want to go pencil skirt and blouse or just business casual with a ponytail since tomorrow's the stupid Office Day, It's so weird that we randomly have a spirit day, and it has to be this of all things, but EXTRA CREDIT'S EXTRA CREDIT THOUGH! The only thing I like about us using Murica's school system, is that we get to wear almost whatever the hell we want woo!"

"Dang! Hmm, I think business casual with hair down would be best."

"That actually might work, lemme see, just bringing up Pictoshop real quick..."

"Dang it does look better. I'll go with that. What are you gonna wear?"

"The only dress clothes I own are the one's I got for my cousin's wedding."

"Lemme see."

"The shirt's not too baggy, but loose enough to thin you out. The jacket's big enough to slim you a little more. Just fix your hair and it should look fine. I want us to get the most possible hate tomorrow! OOOH! This is gonna be fun!"

"You really like pissing people off."

"No, I like pissing off the people that hate me!"

"Every girl's gonna be giving you weird stares except that one girl that you are friends with that you talk to sometimes."

"It sucks that my only girl friend has first lunch, but who cares! My other three friends have second with me!"

"Thought you had more guy friends."

"They got salty after we did that video. They all liked me! Oh man, sucks for them for being butthurt. They coulda had a cool friend, but they were cringe hormonal wolves! Don't need them anyway, I have you. I'm sad you don't have Instargraf though, the hate comments I get are so cringy that I get a kick out of roasting them, you need to see some of them, I'll send you some screenshots in a sec. Oh yeah on that video of you hitting Jun, it has like 300,000 likes and a million views already! Sad though, it balances out the hate a bit."

"I think our friend group is the only one in the school that doesn't care."

"We really don't! Hahaha."

"Oh yeah Jugyeong, I have some cheese."

"Oh please, do tell!"

"Suho's gonna go on a date with Sangah. That girl I know from the arcade."

"NO WAY! OH MY GOD THEY'D LOOK SO CUTE TOGETHER!"

"I know right?"

"It would take a strong woman to deal with him pfffff!"

"Let's see, they seemed to hit it off. Not sure how well it's gonna be."

"Now all we gotta do is help Dowoon get with that mute girl. Too bad she has first lunch."

"Who cares? Sangah goes to the school a mile down and Suho landed a date with her!"

"Truuuuuuuuuue. Hmmmmmmmmmmm. We need to devise a plan."

"Let's give it a minute. We gotta feed off the cringe energy tomorrow. Mostly you, but still."

"Oh yeah true hmmmm. Let's give it a bit. We ain't gotta rush things too quickly... Though it does sound fun~"

"Yeah it does. I got Dae Zhae Kuaun class tomorrow though, so after school I'm going straight home to get ready for that."

"Wanna go the park after and chuck a Murica ball while devising our plans tomorrow?"

"If I'm not dying of soreness after working out."

"I could always just give you a massage, I mean, I kick wood for fun, my feet are pretty hard, maybe that could get into all the grooves and stuff."

"You'd really do that?"

"It you crack my back tomorrow and go with me to the park, I'll pick you up, my dad has another association football game he wants to watch tomorrow night."

"Alright that works."

"Woo! Power couple status here we come!"

"I get bullied remember? Not until I can scare Jun or beat him up can we really be a power couple."

"You deal with getting beat up alot and you work, you have the endurance to."

"Can we add that to the list of plans to discuss for tomorrow?"

"That works."

"Alright Good night Jugyeong."

"Good night Hyun. Tomorrow's gonna be so fun! Dangit gotta take my night Adderall, my ADHD's going nuts."

"Okay, night."

"Night." She does a kiss noise like she's done it a million times.

She hangs up.

I mean dang, before today, the most romantic thing we did was hold hands at the mall a couples years ago to keep a couple guys off her hair when we were gonna go to the manga store.

{Do you want to cash out the floater mission right now?}

"Turn em off, three skill points is enough."

{You just want to buff that Jugyeong magnet skill huh!}

"And Dae Zhae Kuaun."

{Alright alright. Sucker}

"I wanna see Jugyeong's beautiful existence in full now that we're dating."

{I thought y'all were supposed to be casual.}

"She was talking like we are officially boyfriend and girlfriend, lemme text her.",

I send her a text, "You were talking like we're officially dating. Want to just make it official?"

"You know what? Screw it! LET'S DO THIS! I'm calling you babe now! Kay? Love you gnight."

"Alright. Gnight."