Chereads / My Non-existent System / Chapter 1 - Chapter 1: {Pizza Pig}

My Non-existent System

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Synopsis

Chapter 1 - Chapter 1: {Pizza Pig}

"Hey Hyun, Dowoon, Suho, wanna go get pizza?" Jugyeong's cheat day is Friday, so I guess it makes sense why she'd ask that right now.

"Yo we should go to Hyun's Dad's place, it's so nice having an Italian in our neighborhood, gotta get the authentic stuff." Suho loves pizza more than I do, just he has the metabolism to not get fat while eating twice as much as me. Motivation and genetics suck.

"Isn't that obvious, it's the only real pizza place within 5 miles that's not Little Cheesers." Jugyeong has always been sassy.

We go and order and get 2 meat lovers deluxe thin crust, with p i n e a p p l e. I'm fine with it, but I think my dad is the only Italian from Italy that doesn't see it as a sin.

"Yo Dowoon, when's your next tournament?" Jugyeong asked. Dowoon is an up-and-coming professional gamer. He mostly plays fighters such as Virtua Brawler and Kyokuniku.

"Next Monday, I'm skipping school that day, not this upcoming one." he said.

"Must be nice." I say.

"I got the modelling gig! Let's go!!!!" Suho has been trying out for modelling gigs for a while, he finally landed one. Now I'm not the only one in the group with a job.

"Hey Jugyeong, when's your next tourney?" I ask her.

"Next month, it's the final tourney of the season, it's gonna SUUUUUUCK."

"Why's that?"

"Remember Alita from last year before she transferred, the brackets came out already and we're fighting her new school IN THE FIRST ROUND."

"Eeeesh yeah she's the size of a linebacker, I'd be scared too."

"Right?"

At least she has a passion she loves, same with Dowoon, and Suho got a job.

Man I don't have any passions or anything really that I'm good at besides eating and reading. If I lived in Italy or America I could become a competitive eating, so being fat would be my job, not here in the third most fatphobic country in the continent. I love pizza and food.

I guess librarian works?

"Yo Hyun, can you crack my back bro? I need to be completely aligned for the shoot in a couple hours." Suho asked.

"Wait it's today?"

"Yeah they just are lazy pieces of crap, at least I'm getting paid 1.2 million won so it's worth it I guess."

"Alright, how hard?"

"Crack it all man, max power, I'll buy you a pizza later."

KQRRRRTKQKQKKQRRRT!

"Aw hell dude you should be a chiropractor or something bro!"

"A fat doctor doesn't look good. Also 7 years of college and school is kinda cringe."

"Fair, but still man I think I grew a whole inch with that!"

"I forgot you had scoliosis to be honest."

"Bro we been friends like 2 years. Anyways. Thanks man, now I'm normal model height! Ugh."

"Hey kids!" My dad came over to say hi.

"Hi Mr. Ferrari! That was good." The whole group loves my dad, I think it's just because he's the only foreigner in the area and he makes actual good Italian food. This is what makes me fat, good food. If I were from like Russia I'd be skinny, but Italian and Korean food in the same house would make anyone fat to be honest.

After we ate, I had my shift, my friends left. Man, Suho is a model, Jugyeong is pretty, and Dowoon is at least average. I'm just fat, tall, and ugly, at least I'm not blind. I wish I got my dad's green eyes though. At the very least I'd be below average. Oh well, can't do anything about that now. I gotta go to work! At least it's only four hours today...

About two hours later, worst case scenario happened. My friends can't fight (Jugyeong only fights in the ring against people in her weight class), I can't fight, but the guy who bullies me in school can, the dude is a 300 pound bodybuilder and his name is Jun Kim. Today he brought his girlfriend on a date, I wish I wasn't put on waiter duty today. I go up to them to take their order and hopefully not get socked.

"H-hello sir and ma'am, what would you like to order?" I ask.

"Hey piggy! I want you in my spaghetti! Hahaha." Jun said.

"I want Fettuccine Alfredo with chicken." his girlfriend said. She's nice and gets annoyed with his jokes, but she does like to beat people up, but at least she doesn't do it out in the open.

"One Pork Sausage Spaghetti and Chicken Fettuccine Alfredo coming up." I say.

After 10 minutes I give them their food, thankfully we have a busser and it's busy so I didn't have to ask for their drinks.

I bring them their food. Thankfully they don't complain. The good thing about not being at school is that people take pictures and take videos.

When I go to pick up their plates 20 minutes later and to get their food. They didn't even give a tip.

"Piggies don't get tips, unless it's a blade! hahahha!" Jun has some of the dryest dark humor ever. Like if he were to make fun of me, I'd rather it be at least a little clever.

I finish my shift and my dad drives me home. Thankfully, Jun doesn't mess with my dad's car since if he were, he'd know that I would know and he doesn't want to get banned from the restaurant. Yeah hit my kid? That's Fine. Mess with my car? Ban. That's how my dad thinks. He's an okay dad but he'd rather me have a bruise or two than him have the battery to his car stolen.

When I make it home, I read a webnovel for a bit.

It's called "I'm Just an Ambiverted Dude". The main character in this book started dating this girl after 7 chapters and they were official by chapter 15 or 16.

Man I wish could attract a girl. My acne is pretty bad, I got my mom's ugly black eyes, I'm fat. The only redeeming quality I have is that I'm decently tall so with an XXXL jacket I can pass as average.

I start thinking about all that and fall asleep.

When I wake up though... I see something insanely freaky...