Jessica glanced up from the computer screen at Brian. Myrna had just dumped a huge backlog of data on her lap and Jessica was eagerly entering it, ready to prove she was worth her inflated salary.
"Where's Sed?" Brian asked. "We're supposed to be leaving for L.A. right now."
Trey had left with his parents in their BMW the day before. The other tour bus and equipment truck were already on the road. As soon as Sed turned up, they could leave too.
"He said he had to go do something real quick. I thought he'd be back by now."
"He didn't tell you where he was going?"
Jessica shook her head. "I'm not his lord and master."
"Heh. Could've fooled me." Brian rolled his eyes and started to walk away, but Jessica grabbed his arm.
"Honestly, Brian, I don't understand why you have such a problem with me. You didn't used to be so hurtful."
"Maybe it has something to do with what you did to Sed."
"What I did to Sed? What exactly do you think I did to him?"
"You destroyed him when you left him for no reason."
"No reason? You have no idea why I left him, do you?"
"He told us all about it. You left because he couldn't afford to put you through law school."
Jessica's jaw dropped.
"You're just a gold-digging—"
"That's what he told you?" she sputtered.
"Are you going to deny it?"
Brian thought she was a gold-digger like her mother? Like her mother ? Jessica couldn't breathe, much less speak in her own defense.
"That's what I thought." He jerked his arm out of her grasp and headed toward the bathroom.
"No! That's not why I left." She stood and trailed after him. Brian paused outside the bathroom door. "I left because he said he wouldn't marry me if I went to law school. I was paying for it, but he forbade me to go. That's why I left. I didn't want him to control my life. He had no right to make me choose between what I love and who I love."
Brian turned and stared at her reflectively until she began to fidget under his intense brown-eyed gaze. "Now that, I believe. He did the exact same thing to Eric twelve years ago."
"Not the exact same thing," Eric said from his bunk, where he was lounging reading a titty magazine. "I could have left the band. Switching to drums wasn't so bad. I like them." He scratched behind his ear. "I mean, now I do. Back then? Not so much."
"Sed thinks he knows what's best for everyone," Brian said.
"The infuriating thing is, he usually does," Eric said.
"Sorry I judged you so harshly, Jessica," Brian said. "I'm glad you stood up to him. I'm not sure why you're giving him this second chance. He probably doesn't deserve it. But he'll change for you. Do anything to make things right. He loves you that much."
Sed loved her? She didn't believe that. Maybe he loved the way she looked. Or the way she gave his body pleasure and took pleasure from his. But who she was on the inside? She doubted he could pick her out in a police lineup if it came to identifying her by who she really was.
"Go!" Sed's voice boomed outside the bus.
"I don't want to." There was something familiar about that whiny female voice. Jessica was sure she'd heard it in a recent nightmare.
"Either you go inside and do it or you can do it in front of everyone out here in the parking lot."
Jessica's brow furrowed. He'd gone to pick up some groupie? What exactly was he forcing the poor woman to do? Jessica started toward the bus steps to intervene.
"Fine." The young woman trudged up the stairs with Sed behind her.
Jessica paused in mid-step the instant she recognized Sed's companion. It was the attendant from the Eiffel Tower. What was he thinking, bringing the little video-taping bitch here? Did he want her murder on his hands? Jessica was definitely ready to commit the crime.
"Go ahead," Sed prompted.
"I'm sorry," she mumbled at Jessica's feet.
"I don't think she heard you," Sed said. "And look at her when you say it."
The girl lifted her head. Her face was streaked with tears. "I'm sorry, okay. I'm sorry. I only did it because I was jealous. Because I want him. And all he wants is you. All he ever wants is you. You don't deserve him." Her hands clenched into fists. "But I am sorry I recorded that video. And I am sorry I posted it. I'm sorry because he'll always think of me as the bitch who hurt you. I really wish you would drop dead, you fucking whore."
Well, that was the worst apology Jessica had ever received, but it was an apology. She lifted her gaze to Sed. He looked entirely perplexed by his fangirl's tirade.
"You hunted her down and brought her here to apologize to me?" Jessica asked.
"She wasn't supposed to say it like that." He nudged the girl on the shoulder. "You weren't supposed to say it like that. We rehearsed—"
The young woman covered her face with both hands, her body quaking with sobs. "Don't make me say it again. Please."
Sed nudged her again. "Hey, you promised me."
"It's okay, Sed," Jessica said. "She doesn't have to apologize if she doesn't want to. I'm satisfied knowing I have something she wants but will never have. She'll always wonder if things might have turned out differently if she hadn't been such a vindictive little bitch."
"I was picturing more groveling and begging for your forgiveness, but if you're satisfied…" Sed shrugged. He took the girl by the elbow and led her toward the exit. "Out you go."
"Wait, Sed. Please, don't hate me. I can't stand thinking that you hate me. Please, Sed. Please. I'm so sorry." The young woman continued to wail all the way down the stairs.
"That's the kind of apology you owe Jessica, not me."
But Jessica didn't need the girl's apology. Sed had gone out of his way to try to make her feel better. It was a truly nice thing for him to do. She was touched despite herself.
"His methods are completely unorthodox," Myrna said, "but you know he means well, don't you?"
Jessica smiled and nodded. He was trying to fix things. It was what he did.
Sed slammed the door. "Let's go, Dave," he shouted, "before she tries to cling to the side of the bus."
Dave started the bus and eased forward, while Sed peered anxiously out a tinted window.
Jessica stepped behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Thank you."
He glanced over his shoulder to look at her. "I thought maybe if she apologized, you'd feel better. I mean, I know it doesn't fix much, but—"
She lifted her hand to cover his lips. "It helped. I do feel better."
Both dimples showed as he grinned against her fingertips. "Then it was worth Brian's favorite guitar."
"What?" Brian bellowed. "You gave her my guitar?"
Sed laughed. "Kidding." He turned to face Jessica, his expression turning serious. "You're going to stay with me in L.A., aren't you?"
She hadn't really considered what she'd do once they got back to L.A. "Are you sure the guys won't mind?"
He glanced at his band mates in confusion. "Why would they care?"
"It's pretty crowded, isn't it?"
"Why would it be crowded?"
"The loft over that dry-cleaning business isn't very big."
"Oh God, you don't really think we all still live there, do you? That was unbearable. I have a condo on the beach now."
"Nice," she murmured. He'd managed to become rich since the last time they'd shared living quarters. She scowled at the thought. "I could stay with my parents." Her scowl deepened. Beth, who stayed with her family in the summer, wouldn't be back in town yet, and Myrna hadn't paid Jessica yet, so her options were limited.
"You don't want to stay with me?" Sed asked.
"I don't want to be a pest. Or a mooch."
"You wouldn't be a pest or a mooch. I want you to stay with me." He lowered his head to whisper in her ear. "Lots of privacy plus plenty of space equals loads of sensational sex."
She grinned. "Well, if that's what you have in mind, I'll have to say yes, I'd like to stay with you in L.A. Well, until Trey recovers and we go back on tour."
Staying at Sed's apartment was just temporary, so that didn't mean they were living together. Right? Yeah. Temporary. She added rent money to the growing tab she owed him.
"Excellent." He hugged her and kissed the top of her head. "I can't wait until you see the place. You'll love it."
"Don't get the wrong idea, Sed. This isn't going to change our relationship. It doesn't mean we're serious."
"Being engaged isn't serious?" Jace asked.
Jessica turned to look at him. "What are you talking about?"
Jace glanced at Sed and then lowered his gaze to the floor. "Never mind."
"Why would you think we're engaged, Jace?"
"Sed told that journalist—"
Sed grunted in warning.
"Nothing," Jace said.
"What journalist?" Jessica looked up at Sed. "What did you do, Sed? You didn't lie about our relationship, did you?"
"I didn't mean to, it just popped out. I couldn't let him think that you were really a prostitute."
"A prostitute? Someone thought I was a prostitute?"
"Yeah, I fixed it though. I told him you were my fiancée to protect you."
"You told him what ?"
"You're yelling."
"Of course I'm yelling! You lied about something that seriously affects my life. This story will get around and people will believe it, no matter how ridiculous it is."
"Ridiculous?"
"How could you tell him I was your fiancée? Like I'd ever consider marrying you."
"Well, what did you want me to say, Jessica, that you're just some chick I like to bang? That you're nothing more to me than a good lay? That would have done nothing to fix your reputation."
"And who destroyed it in the first place? Oh, that's right. You did." Jessica grabbed a stack of data sheets and the laptop from the dining table. She tucked it all under one arm. "I can't work with that idiot around," she said to Myrna, who raised both brows at her but said nothing. "Email me if you need anything." Jessica stomped up the corridor. "Stop the bus!" she yelled.
Dave slammed on the brakes. Jessica grabbed the pole beside the driver's seat so she didn't fall on her face.
"Jesus, don't scare me like that," Dave muttered.
Jessica slung her purse over her shoulder and headed for the exit. "Let me out," she growled at Dave.
He scrambled to obey her and the bus door swung open.
Sed followed her down the steps. "Where are you going? I thought you were staying with me until we go back on tour."
She was so pissed she couldn't see straight. "I would rather… I would rather… stay at my mother's house." Which was about the worst thing she could think of. She stalked off toward the Mandalay Bay parking garage and her piece of shit Nissan Sentra still parked there.
"Jessica?" Sed called after her.
"I am sick of you fucking up my life, Sed! Give me a call when the band goes back on tour. Until then I don't want to hear from you or see you or even know you're alive."
"Yeah? Well, next time someone calls you a prostitute, I won't correct them," he yelled.
"That's better than the world thinking I'm engaged to a self-centered son-of-a-bitch like you."
***
Sed watched Jessica walk away with his heart lodged in his throat. Was there anything worse than watching her leave him? No. He headed after her, but Myrna grabbed his arm.
"Let her go," she said.
He shook his head vigorously. "I can't."
"You have to, Sed. She needs to figure out who you are. Why you do the things you do. She doesn't get it. She thinks you're trying to control her life. Until she figures out that's not your intention, you're just going to drive her crazy. Give her time to understand why you did what you did. A few minutes to miss you, sweetie." She patted his cheek sympathetically. "She will, you know."
"But she's leaving ." He pointed a hand at Jessica's shrinking figure as if that explained all his inner turmoil. "She'll be back. She said to call her when the band goes back on tour. If she really never wanted to see you again, she wouldn't have given herself that out."
"That's just her need for money talking."
Myrna snorted. "I can't believe you think that. I give her three days—tops—before she's on your doorstep wanting you back. Just trust me on this, okay? I know you love her. That's why you try so hard to fix things for her. She hasn't figured that out, yet. You've got the poor girl so confused she's never going to see it. And no matter how much you want to, you can't make her see it. She has to figure it out on her own."
Jessica disappeared from view, taking the heart previously lodged in Sed's throat with her.
"Promise you won't go after her, Sed. That you'll be patient. Give her a couple of days to catch her breath."
"I'll try."
"Sed?" Myrna said reproachfully.
"Fine. Whatever. Psychologist knows best."
Before the bus even merged onto the highway, Sed had already thought of three reasons he needed to contact Jessica as soon as they reached L.A. She'd left her suitcase on the bus. She had left several piles of Myrna's data behind. And he missed her. Already.