Every white dot in the black infinity is a star, and every star is a potential solar system filled with planets of limitless potential. And yet with such complexity baked into every star, there are countless glittering the black canvas amongst nebulas. So much land, their stars perceivable, and yet so unimaginably far that there would be no point even fathoming the lengths one would need to go to reach one of them.
An infinite isolated paradise right in front of your eyes, and yet a completely unattainable one. Dangling like a carrot on a stick, like a treat in the hands of an owner playing a cruel joke. So much offered, such vast solitude away from the burdens and problems of home, a place to breathe when home could be straining one's throat. Somewhere that wasn't clogged with regret, self questioning, and the misery attributed to a world that forcefully shoved one against a vicious crowd that demanded action yet had no plan to be of any support.
A possibility of peace without pain.
But all that could be done was gaze at that visible yet intangible possibility through a clear window against the white walls. All that could be done was stare into the infinite impossibilities, his chin resting on his open hand which was raised by its elbow on the dining table. His hair was let out as his black hood rested on his shoulders above his cape, allowing him to view what he was missing out on with his own naked eyes.
He sat on the left cushioned dining seat inside the serene vehicle that gently hummed during its traversal of the cosmos, his whole body turned to face the window and his head slightly tilted to lean on the comfort of his hand.
Watching the sparkling stars shine through his blue eyes that lacked the same sparkle but instead showed a dull anguish, he silently stared with envy at what could be, his expression carrying a sense of longing for a clarity that he desperately needed in a world he felt his mind so clouded by. Reserved for most of the day, his eyes kept darting away from what was around him and instead lingered on what was away, an escape.
There was still a tint of young innocence in his face, for he hadn't yet shriveled, but there was an indication of an eternal unease within him, one that's followed him since birth. One that always came to haunt him no matter the time and place of his life, as even when he seemed to have it all, it dragged him down into a hollow abyss. Even when he was surrounded with companions, that curse left him stranded in the black canvas without stars.
"Meditat?" gently prodded the concerned female voice of one of those faded companions, whom he turned his head right to, facing forward at the table. Across the table on the accompanying dining seat sat Calypso, leaning forwards with her chin supposed by both of her closed hands, her elbows also resting on the table.
Dawning her ominous streamlined suit with odd alien designs, the only pure facet of her humanity was her face, which wore a warm but stressed expression with sincere soft purple eyes. Her silky black hair draped by the sides of her face, leaving it open and visible to the one she was speaking to. Her face of soft fair skin seemed more alive than the dreary face of the man she was staring at, which when looking straight at was rather apparent.
Speaking in a deep voice drained with mental exhaustion, Meditat softly inquired, "Yes, Calypso?"
"Is everything alright?" she broke out, asking the question straight with the same tone of voice as both of them kept their heads resting on their hands.
Taken aback by the upfront interrogation, Meditat's eyebrow rose, and he rapidly blinked. His eyes then subtly drifted downward away from her face before he brushed off, "Of course, how about you?"
"I'm fine, thanks for asking. I was just wondering, you seem a little…-" Calypso tapered off as she seemed to lose her words, her stability loosening after the initial strength she came forward with.
Both blue eyes raise back up in intrigue to the unfinished statement, and Meditat calmly sought, "'Seem a little' what? I'm okay, Calypso, I always am. …I guess I was just wondering…," and his eyes then dropped as well, once again breaking eye contact as he continued in a much quieter whisper, "...if maybe I shouldn't be here," before his voice too diminished.
"Wait, huh? I'm so sorry, I didn't catch the end. Meditat, you can talk to me, you know. I'm~ we're your team," Calypso once again prodded, picking up on his short strands with a suddenly excited voice before quickly grounding herself again.
Not only losing eye contact but completely facing away, Meditat lowered and swiveled his head to look back at the window at the stars. His tone sharpened as his voice became more formal and even slightly passive aggressive, he snapped, "I wasn't saying anything, just don't worry about it. And I know we're a team, and we're driving to another mission right now. So I'm just trying to prepare for it, is there something wrong with that?"
Her investigative demeanor shattered, Calypso lowered her head against her hands and faced the dining table shamefully. She frowned as her purple eyes lingered at the white table away from her teammate's face, as though bowing in defeat.
"No…I'm sorry if I annoyed you…," she delicately apologized in a whisper, speaking like a whimpering dog as her tone was dragged down.
Reactively Meditat's eyes dilated from the stabbing guilt, as his immediate inclination was verbal resolution indicated by the parting of his lips. However, already deep in his trance and seeking escape from this declining interaction, he chose to remain silent as his eyes became calm, and he forced himself to shut his mouth.
Now he only had more reasons to feel guilty, unable to resolve any of it as he instead cowered at the window, ignoring the world and environment around him but rather aiming all his attention to the white glittery void, hoping the situation could extinguish itself as the guilty expression remained although now hidden from his teammate.
Ahead of the two miserable individuals, the front seat was occupied by the leader, although the accompanying woman in the dress was not there at the time.
While his own expressions were obscured by the seat's back and headrest, his head was tilted towards the side of the dining table, resting against his long black hair, and his keen shadow eyes were reaching at the silent interaction. His expression was one of growing concern, as his eyebrows were crunched and his mouth was tightly sealed.
It wouldn't even take his amplified sensory abilities to have detected the tension behind him, for they were not too far from him and the engine's hum was correspondingly quiet even compared to their soft voices.
Over the course of the day the tension had been rising, and by the sacrificial expedition by his ally, the leader was beginning to unravel the distress. If only he was given a clearer schedule to work with, but unfortunately today would be far from a relaxed day.
Albeit still concerning, the man was right about one thing: they were driving towards another mission. That had to receive top priority for the time being, even if it meant leaving internal fractures. They just had to be reserved to the wayside until the threat could be dealt with, as regardless of the individual's personal moods, they'd need to be sharpened to take on this next treacherous case.