!!**Trigger warning**!! (This has talk of sexual assault and abuse, from a long term friend I thought was family. It wasn't me letting it happen, but it was something that happened to me over a period of time, but one of his actions was summarize and written down here. I will not be going into detail about it. If you need help here is the hotline number 1-800-656-4673. This is the website if anyone needs help or resources. https://www.rainn.org/national-resources-sexual-assault-survivors-and-their-loved-ones
**I am a survivor and I wish I could help others**)
____
When school finally ended I knew I would be in for a world of trouble. My phone wouldn't stop going off and I knew if I kept ignoring Aries he would hunt me down, which brings me to my current predicament. Slinking along the south side of my schools building so I could run off without being seen by anyone or Aries. The 330 bus would be arriving soon and if I ran I could probably catch it and head home.
I made it as far as the parking lot and all I had to do was jog across it and onto the side. There was a park the next block over, I could cut across it and pass the public High school on the other side and I would take the bus, it would be another 20minutes added to my schedule but that didn't matter. All that mattered was staying away from Aries right now. Looking around the nearly empty parking lot I booked it across to the other side in a blur of green and white from my uniform. The feeling of knowing I was trying to hide made me almost giddy and high. But I made it.
Crossing the street I walked straight to the park, by taking this rout I would have to transfer from one bus to another adding that extra 20minutes but honestly it was worth it. Aries knew the other rout for my bus so I had to improvise, but honestly that was short lived when I heard a honk from behind me. The sound made me stop in my tracks, I was almost across the park nearly 50yards to the other school, Court Gabriel High school.
"Balls." I sighed knowing who it most likely was, and when I pivoted on my right foot like a ballerina I could just make him out on the driver side of blue pick up. Aries...he sat trying to call me over. Ugh! This boy was exhausting.
"Alexandria!" He shouted from his car making me cringe and look around. He sounded like my mother, ugh.
Ignoring him I turned around and quickly began to speed walk, he wouldn't dare drive through the parking lot right. No worse, Aries got out of his car and started to jog towards me, when I looked back my heart began to thunder in my chest. No no no, he was catching up.
"Alexandria wait!" He shouted once more before I heard my name being called infront of me.
"Alex! Hey!" From the other end of the park I could see Darin, my brothers childhood friend and my mother's best friend's nephew. We grew up together, he had a winning smile, tall at 6'1and he wasn't bad on the eyes. For the longest time ever I had a thing for him but he was my brothers friend and practically family, I couldn't.
I was caught between a guy I knew for years and a guy I had just met, while I contemplated which to go to from the cent of the park. Looking back I had seen Aries freeze on the spot looking towards Darin before he shifted his eyes to me. "Alex." Aries voice was a whisper and if I hadn't been looking at his lips I was sure I wouldn't even have heard him. He watched me contemplate my actions but his face was twisted with what I could only assume was hurt and concern.
Go to Aries or go to Darin...with out another thought I sprinted for Darin as fast as I could, only to crash into his chest when I finally reached the other side. He caught me in his arms and chuckled a deep throaty laugh. "Hey, you almost me took me out." He laughed while hugging me close. I smiled while trying to catch my breath as I looked up at him, his bright blue eyes always had a way of drawing me in and making me feel safe.
"What are you doing over her?" he asked while looking up from where I can from. "Who's that? Is he giving you a hard time?" His voice raise with the last question almost in warning as he watched Aries from afar while he hopped back in his car.
Inhaling a deep breath and letting it out I smiled shaking my head. "Just an acquaintance, he's George's friend." Once those words left my lips they felt sour and vile in my mouth, almost like I had been sucking on a lemon then ate a handful for cranberries. (Don't do it, wouldn't recommend it)
"Is that so? Well if he's a nobody come on then let's go, so what are you doing over here?" Darin tucked me under his arm and pulled me along completely ignoring Aries and drawing my attention to him.
Smileing as I walked along, I couldn't help but feel safe when around him as I snuggled under his arm and into his side.
"Well, I was going to take the bus, but since your here...." I trailed off with a big smile as I looked up at him.
"Ohh, so you want a ride?" Darin asked while giving me a knowing look.
"Well I mean if your offering..." I shrugged slipping out from under his arm and skipped happily down the street.
"Well I am headed to my aunts house, so I guess I can drop you off." He said smiling at me with that bright white winning smile of his.
"Shall me go then?" I said clapping my hands excitedly.
I followed Darin as he guided me over to his car in the parking lot of the park, which had me a little confused. Why did he park his car here instead of his school's parking lot? "Darin?"
"Yea?" He smirked at me from over his shoulder, which had me a little worried.
"Why's your car here and not in the parking lot of your school?"
"That dear girl is because I don't want my car to be dinged, so I park it here." (Little did I know, he parked his car in the parking lot so he could pick up girls either from my high school or his, pretending to take them home but instead do other disgusting things.)
When I got in his car I was unsuspecting of his actions that afternoon, he wouldn't take me home right away but eventually he would. When he drove I knew it was in the wrong direction but I didn't think anything of it, he was my friend, almost like a brother to me. He was someone I trusted, someone I thought I could come to for anything, but he wasn't. He was a broken monster that would do things to me I wouldn't wish on anyone.
He begged saying it was something he wanted to do to me for a long time, whispering sweet nothings in my ear about how he liked me for so long and wanted to tell me but just couldn't. He never had the courage to tell me how he felt until now he would say. I told him no, but eventually I gave in and said yes after 20minutes of his begging. The whole time I thought it's because he likes me, and I like him so it was fine.
He didn't take me home for at least another 2 hours, and honestly once I was home I went straight to my room quietly closed the door so I wouldn't draw more attention to myself, and flopped on the bed hugging my pillow close and cried. My iron post bed was my safety net, as it caught me, engulfing me in comfort. I rubbed my hands the feeling of him still tingled over my fingers making me feel dirty as I scrubbed at them with my blanket. How could he? How could I? It wasn't my fault, I had said no, but then was forced to give in....
Sitting up in bed I grabbed my towel and oversized shirt, what I normally wore to bed before opening my door carefully, looking both down the hall and into the livingroom making sure no one was around. I knew my face would give me away, I was fair skinned and when I cried I always turned red, it was ridiculous. Rushing to the bathroom like a scared mouse I closed the door and locked it behind me, as I turned the hot water on to the shower to let it warm up. I didn't want to look in the mirror so I avoided it as much as possible, but when I finally took my cloths off I couldn't help but check my body.
My face was red from crying, my bottom lip puffy and ripped from him bitting it. My eyes trailing lower down my neck to my shoulder then to my breast where he left small black hickies and when I touched them I held my breath from the pain. There wasn't many but a hand full could be seen, but lowing my hand my arms caught my attention. I would have to wear a long sleeve tomorrow, my wrist were rubbed raw, and I had a palm size print on my upper arm from where he grabbed me after I tried to leave his room and him telling me no the first time. Darin's palm print would leave a mark that I was sure would last a few days as it started to turn almost a purple/blue.
I crouch down in a fetal position and tried to hold in my cries as I covered my mouth with my hand. But the second my palm touched my mouth I ripped it away from my face staring down at it with disgust. Rushing to the shower I jumped with the water feeling like it was meant for a boiling pot not a shower. My skin where the water touched, now turned a bright red as I vigorously scrubbed my hand with a bar of soup.
Clean it, clean it, get it off! I screamed over and over in my head. I could still feel the velvet smooth skin of his shaft as if I was holding it now. No! No, no, no! Get it off!
Grabbing the loufa from the shower catty I scrubbed my hands with it till they were raw and red, till the feeling in my hands completely disappeared and all there could be felt were tingles and pain.
Leaning my back against the shower wall, felt like a relief, the shower tiles were cold yet the water was boiling hot. I sunk to the shower floor and silently cried, letting the hot water wash away my tears and the pain committed to my upper body. I was grateful at the least, he was interrupted by his older brother from going any further with me. I had locked myself in their bathroom and demanded I be taken home, and both men did. The car ride with them was quiet, at least on my end as I tried not to cry. His brother Richard tried to get me to talk, but my responses were single worded if at all making him give up 10 minutes into the drive. When Darin dropped me off he gripped my arm tightly and whispered in my ear.
"If you tell anyone, I'll deni it and lable you a liar. This is our little secret ok?"
Those words replayed over and over in my head through out the night. I was grateful for one thing, it was spring break and I wouldn't have to see anyone for at least 2 weeks.