"Emily?"
I look up at Elizabeth who is sitting across from e. 'Huh?" we are at our usual table outside, doing homework. Students are walking past us. Some are alone and staring at their phones, others in groups, some looking like zombies with really dark circles under their eyes while drinking coffee. I hope they are enjoying their coffee. Some of us are not so lucky.
She takes a bit of her apple, causally. "At what time are you supposed to…uh…"
I look back that the screen, knowing exactly where this is going. "Oh, uh, the appointment is at four."
"You can still change your mind."
"stop it," I sigh. "I already signed a contract, it's done."
I deeply appreciate her concern for me, but I need someone to be on my side. I need someone to tell me that It is okay and that someone has to be Elizabeth, she is the only one I have.
"it's not done until there's a fetus in you."
I rolled my eyes at her. "I thought you were excited about me having Colton's baby."
"Oh, it's going to be a really beautiful baby." She says. "He's really handsome and scary at the same time. How do you stand talking to him?"
"He is a little intimidating," I admit.
"I mean, it's really cute he wants a baby and all but is he even capable of being a dad? Not only that but a single dad?"
"I know." I shrug. "he says he really wants this. Maybe the baby will soften him up a bit."
"so, he not dating anyone?"
"Elizabeth," I warn.
"What? I am simply curious.
"well, he doesn't talk much so it's not like I can tell you anything anyway."
She shakes her head. "Never in my life did I imagine you being in this situation."
"Believe me, you are not the only one." I murmur, trying to finish my homework.
I sip my water as I stare at my laptop screen in front of me. I have not had coffee for a whole week, and it is driving me crazy. Stupid protocol I am supposed to follow during this whole ordeal. I was okay with the not drinking alcohol or smoking-I do not do either of those things anyway. Then they mentioned caffeine. Coffee is what gets me through the day.
Besides, I have also been taking hormones all week and they are not helping my mood. Is this what pregnancy is going to be like? I am turning into a monster.
"How's the wedding coming along?" I ask Elizabeth, needing a break from my work but not wanting to talk anymore about how I am supposed to get pregnant today.
"I have so many things to do, and time is going by so fast! Can you believe it is already March?
Actually, I can. That is the reason I decided to have the appointment today. If I do get pregnant, I should know within the month. Hopefully 'm timing everything right- the last thing I want is to fall behind in school. Also, if I do get pregnant, I will not be showing much at graduation, which means I will be able to keep the pictures and send them to my family. It all adds up in my head, so hopefully everything turns out the way I want.
I spend time together with Elizabeth until she leaves for her next class; I do not have a class for another hour, so I head to Starbucks. I do not know if it is just in my head, but I swear that the smell of coffee helps keep me calm. Sitting down at one of the tables, I take out my notes and study.
"Can I buy you a drink?"
It takes me a moment to realize the guy is talking to me. I look up slowly and see a guy leaning across from me. he has short, light brown hair and soft brown eyes. Glasses rest on the bridge of his nose, and he has a backpack slung over one shoulder. I have seen him before…in one of my classes or something.
"Huh?"
He smiles. "You're not drinking anything, and I thought I could buy you something."
"Oh. No, thank you. I can't drink coffee right now."
Why did I tell him that? He makes me nervous-any guy who talks to me makes me nervous. And he is the nerdy cute.
He frowns. "Why are you here then?"
"The smell," I say, breathing in deep before laughing. "Now I sound like an addict."
"You sound like a college student."
I only smile, not knowing what else to say.
"May I?" he asks, pointing to the empty chair.
"Sure."
"I'm Ben." He says suddenly, offering me his hand. "We've had a few classes together."
"Emily" I say, shaking it. "you do look familiar."
"good, I didn't want to come off as the creepy guy who stares at you in class."
My face grows hot. "don't worry, I haven't noticed."
He looks around awkwardly. "and now I'm that creepy guy."
"I won't tell anyone," I tease.
"You are not as shy as you look," Ben comments, studying me.
"I'm not usually like this. I haven't had coffee for a whole week, it changes me," I joke.
"how come you can't drink coffee?"
What am I doing? I cannot go around telling people my business. I already said too much. Why am I even talking to him? There is no point talking to cute guys right now-I am about to get pregnant. Who would want to go out with a pregnant college student?
I stand and start gathering my things. "I'm sorry, I have to go-I have class."
"Can I- "he asks, but I hurry toward the door before he can get the question out.
"See you later!" I call, trying not to be rude. I am thirty minutes early to my class, so I study to pass the time. When I get out of class a bit later, my phone rings. Jeez. It is like Colton's spying on me.
"Emily, I'm here." He says curtly.
"I'm on my way right now."
Then he hangs up.
He sounded mad. I sigh, knowing I better start getting used to his moods. When I reach the parking lot, he is not hard to find; he is leaning against his car while speaking on the phone. Colton nods when he sees me and opens the passenger door for me; he looks angry as he walks around the car. Great. He is mad-as if he needs to be more intimidating.
Colton ends his call before getting in the car, and I bite my lip to keep myself from asking him if he is okay. Knowing him, he will tell me it is none of my business. And he would be right. Which means neither of us says anything; instead, we sit in an awkward silence.
Funny how I can barely converse with this man, yet I am about to get pregnant with his baby.
I have no idea how I am going to get through this.