I am Emily Valdez. 24-year-old virgin. College student. And hired surrogate to Colton Collins-the sexy, enigmatic bachelor of the famous Collins family.

I am not the type of girl who treasure her virginity. Having sex with Colton is the best way to get pregnant with is child.

He says he did not pay me to take my virginity. I said I could manage it.

I had no idea into what I was getting.

***

Congratulations!

I usually like letters that begin this way; it was on my acceptance letter to NYU, on my scholarship award letter. Letters that begin with Congratulations! are a good thing.

"This is a good thing." I nod slowly as I stare at the letter in front of me. My hands tremble, making the letter shake, so I set it on the counter and pace around the kitchen.

This letter is not the good you know you have to do, but do not want to. Like when you know you have to clean your bedroom, but you had lay in bed and watch TV. Or when you know you have to do your homework, but you want to go watch the new movie at the theater. That kind of good- the kind that has a worthwhile result but involves a sacrifice.

In this case, a huge sacrifice.

"Emily?"

I look up and realize that Peter, my roommate is looking at me. "Yeah?" I say, reaching for the letter quickly.

"Are you alright?" he asks, eyeing me with his dark eyes.

"Yeah, only tired. I'm going to take a nap," I announce, making my way to my room.

I met Peter two years ago at the beginning of my junior year in New York University. We decided to move in to a two-bedroom apartment together after becoming good friends.

I go to my room, lay on my bed, and stare at the ceiling. I have three exams this week and a tone of homework to do, but I cannot bring myself to start studying. A few months ago, I received the worst news I could receive: my dad had a heart attack.

My mother did not tell me until he was out of danger, but that did not make me feel any better; my family lives in Arizona, where I was born, but since I am at NYU on scholarship, I could not even see him. Ever since, my father has been sick and my mom has to work more to pay the bills, leaving my little sister in the hospital staying with my dad.

I have thought about leaving New York. A lot.

I was supposed to be the miracle of the family-the financially successful one able to buy my parents a house. The dependable one. Yet I am here, useless, unable to do anything to help. Part of me wants to pack up my bags and go home by the other part of me knows I cannot throw all of this away. I am so close to finishing school, so close to graduating and becoming a nurse. I cannot give it up now. But I will not forgive myself if something happens to him while I am here.

I wipe away the tear rolling down my cheek.

I have a job, but it is barely enough for me to pay bills and feed myself-I do not have enough money to send and help. While I am trying to finish my education, my dad is gaining more debt with the hospital.

Life is not supposed to be this hard.

My phone rings, making me jump.

"Hello?"

"Emily, it's Elizabeth."

"Oh," I say, relived it is not my mom with sad news. "Oh! I totally forgot we were going to have lunch together. I am sorry! I'm on my way." I reach for my purse.

"It's okay. I'm outside-take your time."

Elizabeth is my one and only loyal friend. We met at first-year student orientation; she was my first friend in New York, and we have been friends ever since. Peter is nowhere to be seen when I emerge from my room, so I head out, lock the door behind me, and get in Elizabeth's car. It is a sunny afternoon, but still chilly enough to be considered sweater weather.

People always say Elizabeth and I could easily be sisters. And I can see why. We both have long, brown wavy hair, brown eyes, and fair skin. We are simply different in the way we dress; she always dresses up compared to my casual jeans, blouse, and sweater combo.

"Hey." I climb into the car and smile at her as she pulls away from my place.

"Everything okay?" she asks.

"Yes." I pause, sighing. "No."

She glances over at me. "You can tell me over lunch-right now, I need food."

I laugh. "Same."

We go to our usual food spot a few minutes away, Patty's Diner. "How's your dad?" Elizabeth asked after we order.

"The same, I think. I don't know, I haven't talked to mom since last week." I reach for the letter in my sweater pocket. "I got this, though," I say, sliding it across the table.

She gives me a weird look but takes it. "Congratulations," she reads. "your application to the Growing Generations Program has been accepted. You may know proceed to step two…" she reads the rest before looking up at me, eyes wide. "This isn't-?"

I nod slowly. "I don't know what to do. I mean this is crazy, right? I have never had a baby. I've never even had sex!"

"Okay," she says, placing her firsthand her table. "This is obviously a really serious decision to make."

I sip my coffee. "This could be a good thing, right? My parents…they need the money. Like, really need it."

"Emily, this is big-you have to be super sure that you are ready to do this."

Becoming a surrogate first came up when I overheard a conversation between two girls in my class; they were talking about how college students are always broke and one of them mentioned stripping for money. The other one brought up…surrogacy. Of course, I already knew what a surrogate was someone who carries a baby for someone else- that was not what caught my attention, though. What caught my attention is how much money surrogate mothers make. $40,00 to $50,00 easily. That kind of money is life changing. That kind of money can mean the difference between life and death for my dad.

I decided to apply. I was feeling vulnerable and really thinking about what I was doing at the time- I was simply desperate. But now, I am ready to move to the next step.

"My dad needs the money," I say again, trying to convince myself.

"Yes, but you'll have to be physically and mentally prepared for this. It will not be easy. You will have to go through tests and checkups after you get pregnant. Then you will have the baby, and you'll never see the kid again."

I shake my head. "I don't want a baby anyway."

"You have to think about this. Really think about this, Emily."

The waiter comes with our food, and we sit silently, waiting for her to go away before continuing the conversation. "It's perfect timing too," I continue. "By the time the baby is born, I'll be out of school."

"You'll be pregnant for graduation." Elizabeth interrupts. "Graduation," Emily. Your graduation pictures would be ruined forever. In know you need the money but there has to be another way."

"There isn't. I can't work more because I need to focus on school- "

"You're going to be pregnant-do you know how hard that is going to be?"

"Not as hard as losing my dad," I whisper.

She looks at me, her gaze softening. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault. I know…" I sigh. "I know this isn't going to be easy, but I have to do something to help my family. I can't be this useless."

"This is what we are going to do," Elizabeth says after a moment. "You're going to proceed to step two, but while we wait for more information, we are going to look for another way to earn money fast."

I nod, already knowing there is not another way. I thought about getting student loan, but it would not be enough; I thought about finding another job, but I will get behind in school. I do not have anyone to lend me that kind of money-it is just me and my family, no one else. No one who can help us.

My only option is to become a surrogate. Unconsciously, my hand goes to my flat stomach and my cheeks flush. I will be pregnant without ever having sex… am I really ready to be a virgin surrogate?